Possession Of A Gangster

Chapter 21- Forgive And Fuck

It had been 8 days since I last saw Damon. That night, all I did was cry, clutching on to the pregnancy test as if it was the one thing keeping me alive. To be honest, it felt like it was.

I was so confused, I didn't know where it left us. Were we over, was that him ending things with me? Or was this just a 'break'. Trust me, I had caused several headaches over-thinking everything and questioning every little detail. That was until the next day I found out, he had indeed left.

The realisation hit me, and it hit me hard. I struggled to breathe, it felt as though someone was crushing all of my organs. So many emotions raced through my head, from rage to insignificance. That's it, I experienced that horrible feeling of being un-wanted. Abandoned.

My family had returned home that day to see me so broken. I blamed it on a sad movie marathon, as they were never rare.

8 days ago I found out I was pregnant, yet the only people in the world that knew were me and Lacey. I couldn't face anyone close to me and tell them about Damon and the baby, the reason being that I still stuck up for him. I didn't want anyone hating him.

How could I force that upon people when I couldn't even bring myself to hate him? I love him, always have and always will. Even after leaving, he assigned Carter to watch me closely, protecting me. But it felt so wrong, as much as I had experienced Carter being my personal body guard in the past, I was calmed knowing that Damon was also there. This time, it was just Carter, probably reporting back my tears to Damon.

Or maybe he didn't care.

Lacey had so kindly spent a lot of time with me,  as had Liam after he strongly apologised. Yet I still hadn't told him. As much as it hurt hiding things from my closest family and friends, I couldn't even bare the truth myself.

"You okay chuck?" My father asked, noticing my distant mind as he entered the room. I turned to him and smiled sweetly as I nodded.

"Me and your mother are going out tonight, you've got the house to yourself." I smiled once more, but inside my walls were shaking. Being alone meant that I'd be plagued with thoughts of Damon, reminding me of how alone I'll be.

"Enjoy yourselves." I kissed his cheek before walking up to take a well-deserved shower. Hearing the door lock downstairs, I sighed and stripped from my mint green panties and bra.

Upon immediate entry of the shower, I felt my muscles visibly relax. Soaping myself up, I rubbed my fingers against my skin softly, reminiscing on the times where my delicate fingers were replaced my Damons rough ones. Once more I got that hollow feeling in my chest.

Rinsing myself off for the last time, I exited the shower and grabbed the closest towel. Wrapping my hair in a smaller towel, I brushed my teeth and cleaned my ears. I lived for the feeling after a shower, when you are freshly clean and moisturised. It made me feel good and settled my insecurities.

Entering my room, a cold shiver rushed over me. Someone was watching me, I felt it again. Quickly putting on fresh underwear, I shut my curtains after a swift scan of the outside world. Everything appeared normal, but it was dark outside. Fear arose within me.

All of a sudden a shrill noise erupted through the room, causing me to metaphorically shit myself. Placing a hand to my heart and breathing steadily in order to calm my nerves, I picked up my phone and answered it.

"Hello?" No one replied. "Hello?" I repeated, turning the volume on my phone up. Heavy breathing. Whoever was on the other end was simply breathing down the phone to me. I jumped once more at the sudden sound that erupted from the other end of the line. A sound that sounded like a gun-shot. Quickly ending the call, I stood still.