I'm Alive | Fifth Harmony - Camren Fanfiction

Chapter 11

A/N: Trigger warnings of suicide/self harm in this chapter so if anything will trigger you or you aren't comfortable with this topic then please please don't read this chapter and just skip it. - also so you know I love all of you guys and if you ever need to talk about anything then I am here for you. Stay safe and be nice to yourselves. ❤️

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(Edited)

"So what is wrong with her?" Ian asked the doctor eagerly. He had taken her to the hospital because nowhere else would be open at the late hour.

"Camila when was the last time you took your anti-depressants?" The doctor asked the small girl and Ian stood for a moment in shock.

He knew she had had a mini panic attack and probably had anxiety but he did not know she had depression.

"Uh ...er last week," Camila mumbled looking down.

"Well that is the problem. You are supposed to take them daily," the doctor said

"Okay ...so can I go now?" Camila asked and the doctor nodded and bid the two goodbye.

Camila and Ian walked into the car park and before Camila got into the car Ian spoke.

"I- I never knew," he said

"Well I did not expect you to know this. You know nothing about me," Camila said as she climbed into the car.

"Why did you write that in the wall?" Ian asked as he started the engine and started to drive. Camila never answered him.

"Camila I cannot help you if I do not know the facts," Ian said and Camila couldn't take it anymore. He was treating her like a child.

"I wrote on the wall because it is the truth Ian. The colour is gone! Lauren was my colour, And I painted the room Black because black is the absence of colour. DO YOU WANT IT IN WRITING I AM IN LOVE WITH LAUREN MICHELLE JAUREGUI AND SHE HATES ME ALL BECAUSE OF MY DAD!" Camila screamed and by the end she never realised that she had started crying her eyes out.

"I'm so sorry,"Ian whispered and the girl turned to look out the window. She couldn't deal with any of this anymore.

"Won't your mom be worried as to where you are?" Ian asked breaking the silence.

"I told her that I was staying at Ally's."Camila scoffed and the rest of the car journey was silent.

"I hate my dad,"Camila mumbled under her breath.

"He is doing this to protect you!" Ian snapped

"But he doesn't understand! You don't understand. " Camila shook her head before continuing.

"I'm in love with Lauren and I broke my own heart by screaming at her. Lauren told me she is sick and I don't know how bad it is because she won't talk to me and I don't blame her. But all I think about is her. I wonder how I'm supposed to pull of being your girlfriend because well..." Camila rambled on and then stopped herself. She almost said it. She almost said it and too him out of all the people.

"Well...?" he said gesturing for the brown haired girl to continue her sentence.

"No ...it it doesn't matter," Camila said clearly getting worked up.

"Is it because you are gay?" Ian asked softly and Camila turned bright bright red.

"How! ...what how did you...?" Camila said flabbergasted.

"The way your eyes light up when you say her name ...It's enough." Ian said and Camila looked down.

"If Lauren ever returned your feelings then I'm sure she does not hate you," Ian said.

"No..." Camila shook her head. "You never seen her face when I said what I said." Camila was fighting back tears that we threatening to spill.

Ian looked at the girl with pity as they arrived back at the house.

"Go to sleep if you want to, but I'm not tired." Camila said to Ian.

"Nah I'm good," Ian said as he walked into the kitchen and threw a very small box at Camila.

Camila looked at it and noticed it was her anti-depressants. Camila took them with some water and then sat on the sofa next to Ian.

Both of them were on there phones and Camila was trying to desperately reach the girls.

"Is lauren okay?" She sent to all of the girls individually but got no reply.

"Hope lauren is feeling well." she texted Normani. Camila got a notification that Normani read the message but didn't reply.

"Lauren..... I'm sorry..... I'm sorry I left you and I regret everything. Please tell me you are okay?" Camila texted.

"Whatever" Lauren replied instantly.

"Lauren are you okay?" Camila texted but got no Reply.

"Ally please answer me, is Lauren okay?" Camila texted but Ally never replied.

"Dinah I'm so sorry" Camila texted and got an instant reply.

"Stop texting and talking to us all Camila we don't want to hear it." Dinah replied and Camila sat her phone on the sofa sighing.

She was such a jerk. They hated her and she did not blame them for it. But Camila felt sick to her stomach because she knew that Lauren said she was seriously ill and Camila badly had to know what was wrong. But of course she never would know would she?

"I'm going to the bathroom," Camila mumbled and Ian raised an eyebrow as the small girl got up off of the sofa and made her way upstairs.

Camila sat on the toilet seat and bawled her eyes out crying. She couldn't forgive herself for what she done to the girls. She was worried sick about the health of Lauren. Even Ally hated Camila and Ally hated nobody. Camila was shameful. She wanted all of the pain to go away. It was almost like she wasn't happy and she wasn't sad either, she was empty. Almost emotionless. Camila picked up a razor from the bath tub; this was not the first time she tried to end her life. Maybe it would help because then one of the gangs would he happy and that way none of the gangs could have her and nobody would get hurt.

~ten minute time skip~

Camila had been gone at least a good ten minutes and Ian started to worry. Ian walked upstairs and stood outside the bathroom door.

"Camila are you okay in there?" Ian asked and there was no reply.

"I'm coming in Camila," Ian warned before he took out his credit card and picked the lock with the edge.

When he opened the door he seen that Camila was on the floor lying limp. He ran over to the girl and her pulse was weak and slow. She was very pale; She had various cuts up her arm and there were many deep ones.

"911 - I need an ambulance as soon as possible" Ian said and he gave the house address. Ian felt sick to his stomach knowing that the girl hated everything so much she was willing to take her own life. He felt like it was his fault, he felt guilty as he watched the girl lying on the floor.