Jerrie One-Shots

It's You

A/N: 'Turn a Zayn song into a Jerrie song?' Uhm...how about just the title?  I was planning to actually follow the song, but my mind took it down an entirely different path and I'm hella sorry.  Also...as always I was defs too lazy to edit, so...sorry. XD

***

4 years.

4 years thrown away.

4 years thrown away with no explanation aside from 'Hey, I'm just not feeling it anymore.  Sorry.  Bye Perrie'.

Now, after those 4 years, I lay in my bed and stare up at the ceiling, my engagement ring sitting pretty and perfect on the nightstand while I look the exact opposite.  Tears run down my cheeks, silently, as they do every day.  It's been a week.  A week of me being left to drown in my sorrows and the destructive thoughts swirling in my head.  Was I not good enough?  

I've already called out of work today, and I'm pretty sure they can already tell that I'm most definitely not "sick"...unless that "sick" is in reference to the nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach from losing the one thing in my life that was certain to be mine forever.  

My phone rings, buzzing on the nightstand, and I just stare at it blankly, my eyes catching on the carefully cut diamonds and metal band beside it.

I really have to get rid of that thing.

But I can't.

I grab the phone, sliding my fingers across the screen to accept the call before placing it up to my ear and moving my head back to stare up at the ceiling.

"I'm guessing you're not coming today."

I sigh, my best friend on the other end sighing as well since they already knows my answer.

"I can't, Jes."

Jesy sighs again.  I've heard that sound way too much this week, both from myself and others pitying me.

"Babes, I thought we agreed that you would try today?  You know you can't stay away from work that long.  They're already getting suspicious."

"I know, Jes... I just-...I'm a mess.  I try to get up, but then I just see the other side of the bed and see it's empty, and then I walk downstairs to silence and I... Jesy, I'm too weak.  This is eating away at me.  Even if I went to work I wouldn't be able to do very much aside from just stare at my computer screen."  Jesy and I work a bit lower down in a company, digitizing files and doing some minimal accounting stuff (though Jesy and I have a little system where she does my accounting and I do her digitizing.  I was never good at math).

"Alright, well I'll be over after work, yeah?  You are not alone, Perrie.  Remember that."

"Yeah."

"Good.  Also, be sure to eat something.  I'll see ya later."

"I will.  See ya.  Bye Jes."

"Bye Pez."

Jesy hangs up, and I feel bad knowing that she has to work while I'm sat in bed, but I also envy her and her ability to carry on with her life.  Meanwhile I'm stuck in this maze of heartbreak, and every corner I turn I find yet another dead end that just sets me back into this whirlwind of memories and feelings.

I sigh (damn it, Perrie, stop with the sighing) and basically roll off the bed, barely catching myself at the edge to plant my feet on the ground, slowly standing and walking out of the room with shaky and weak legs.

Silence.

I gulp down the sobs and will back the tears pricking at my eyes.  I take the first step down the stairs, the wood underneath the carpet creaking from underuse.  They never used to do that.  Gosh, even my house is mocking me and how weak I am.