Memories of You

Chapter Forty-One - Defiance

Thank you to everyone who is sticking with this story so far. I know it's intense, but I hope the story has captivated you and touched you enough to want to do good in this world on a daily basis. Just remember even a small act can mean the world to someone.

Thank you to Depecher and BarbaraK2U. You two are amazing, and I wouldn't know what to do without you. Happy Birthday Depecher, I hope all your wishes came true.

Tris' POV

My gaze lingers over the two different stones on the wall in front of me, and in my hunger-induced insanity, the two stones sort of look like an airplane. I try to imagine the feel of the leather seat, the way the engine roared in my ears, and even the smell of exhaust and oil that continually hung in the air. I try to imagine all of this to try and keep my brain off the constant hunger pains I've been feeling, but it doesn't help.

I haven't received food for almost a week now. I think that when I beat Eric at cards, it drove him to punish me on every level he could. I've only received a small cup of water in the morning and one in the evening. My bathroom breaks have been cut to once a day, forcing me to use drastic measures when I can't wait.

I'm starting to suspect that Eric and a mere handful of his men know that I'm here. It explains why I've only seen just Eric and the same few soldiers who continue to hurl taunts and insults at me every time that door opens. It's depressing to think that no one knows I'm here, that I'm a ghost who will simply haunt these same four walls until I no longer exist.

I'm honestly getting to the point of despair, wondering and worrying whether Tobias will ever be able to find me. I don't know if I'll ever see the sun and sky again. I don't know if I'll ever feel the grass under my bare feet or the rain on my skin. I don't know if I'll ever feel that familiar twist in my stomach when Tobias' lips touch my ear as he whispers he loves me.

I can feel another wall begin to crumble as sadness begins to wash over me in waves. I close my eyes tightly, and quickly begin reciting Tobias' loving words once more. I try conjuring images in my head of the first time we kissed, when we professed our love for one another, the morning he left, when I found him again, the week we had together, when he asked me to marry him, and finally when we made love for the first time. I sigh, my heart beating out a slow rhythm in my chest, and I adjust the raincoat under my head on the concrete floor, trying to remain calm once more. I open my eyes cautiously, letting out a slow, shaky breath as the room comes back into view.

Even the smallest exercises, mental or physical, seem to take more and more energy with each day that passes. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to do this, even with the thought of Tobias' finding me driving me forward.

I hear heavy footsteps coming toward my door and sit up quickly, tucking the folded coat behind my back. I feel my eyes cross, my head spinning. I take slow breaths through my nose, trying to relieve the sensation from my head, as the key slides into the lock of my door. Eric stands before me, a wicked grin crossing his features. "Damn, Stiff," he says with a snicker, "You reek. I guess we better hose you off."

Eric stands aside and lets two familiar guards come in to pick me up by my arms, dragging me across the floor. I could stand up and walk with them, but I figure this is one more way to defy them as best I can. Besides, it conserves my precious energy while wasting theirs.

I'm dragged down several hallways. Most of them look the same, with dark green walls, metal doors, and no windows. We turn down another hallway, and bright light is flooding across the hall, illuminating the stone walls. There are several windows high on the wall, the late morning sunlight streaming through them. I have to blink several times as my eyes adjust to the change of light, but I have a hard time wiping the smile off my face as the warmth of the rays reaches my skin. I don't care what Eric has planned right now. At least I got to see the sun before I die, if that's what he has planned.