Memories of You

Chapter Fifty-Three - Confession

Thank you everyone who continues to read, vote, follow and comment.  I'm still in awe over how popular this story has become.  Thank you so much.  Enjoy.

Thank you again to Depecher and BarbaraK2U for your amazing work.  I really can't thank you ladies enough. 

Tris' POV

I stand in a dark room, my hand instinctively reaching out in search of anything that will help me find a way out. The smell of rot, filth, and fear does not help my racing heart in the slightest. I frantically begin swinging my arms in front of me, turning in a tight circle, trying to get my bearings. When I begin to venture forward, I feel a presence creep up behind me.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and I begin running forward blindly, not knowing or caring whether I might hit something. I just need to get away from whatever is behind me, to get away from the monster that lurks just inches from my exposed back. I hear the slow chuckle that I thought was gone for good, and I begin sprinting forward. The voice doesn't waver as I surge forward, the pain in my lungs almost unbearable as I try to escape the taunting laugh.

"No...don't...please." I hear Tobias' moans in the darkness.

I stop, and it seems the world I've been trapped in melts away. Tobias has never been the one moaning in my world of endless nightmares. I know they're dreams when they first begin, but I always feel trapped within them. I never have any control over my nightmares; after Eric catches me, I'm forced to watch and endure as he does unspeakable things to me over and over. Each time, I try desperately to wake up so I won't have to relive my worst nightmares again. I just want to be awake and safe in my reality, safe in Tobias' arms where my visions don't haunt me.

I slowly pull myself out of the dark recesses of my dream when I hear Tobias moan again, feeling his grip on me tighten. It takes me a moment to peel my eyes open as I continue to hear his moaning, but then when I feel Tobias' body tense and shake, I awaken quickly. I detangle myself from his firm grip, and grab his shoulders, shaking them lightly. "Tobias! Wake up! Tobias?"

There is a thin sheen of sweat across his forehead and his features keep pulling into grimaces of pain, but he still doesn't wake up. "Don't!" he yells out. "Don't do this. Not her!" I straddle his chest, cupping his face and kiss him with as much force as I can, hoping he will wake up when he experiences a different sensation from whatever is happening in his dream.

I feel his body start to relax under me as I press my lips to his, and his hands slowly snake across my back as his lips begin to move with mine. I pull back after a moment, trying to catch my breath, and look at him with concern. "Are you ok?"

He nods, closing his eyes, but puts his arm across his face.

"Tobias, talk to me, please?" I whisper. I swing my legs back over, kneeling beside him, waiting for him to answer me.

"It was just a bad dream, Tris. It's not a big deal," he says, but I can hear the fear and irritation in his voice. "Just go back to sleep."

I feel my own irritation begin to creep in, and I have to remember that yelling isn't going to help this situation, especially when the sun hasn't even come up yet. Something has clearly shaken him about his dream, and while I know he wants to keep it from me, I need him to talk to me about it. I may have my own nightmares to contend with, but it doesn't mean I can't help him with his.

I gently poke his chest, trying to gain his attention. "Tobias. When I agreed to marry you, I agreed to be with you through thick and thin. That also means that I promised to not keep secrets and to share my darkest fears and insecurities. I've shared so much with you, and only you. Something is clearly upsetting you. So, please talk to me. You know I won't judge or think any less of you."