Memories of You

Chapter Forty-Two - New Friends

Thank you once again to everyone that has been reading this story.  I really couldn't ask for better readers.  I was going to post this earlier this week, but I got sick.  Again.  I swear this winter is trying to kill me. Alright, enough talking from me. Enjoy.

Thanks again to Depecher  and  BarbaraK2U.  Wouldn't know what I would do without you ladies.  

Tobias' POV

It's been three weeks since we left my mother's village. I've been trying to keep my emotions in check, but the further we get from the village, the more I feel I'm disconnecting from myself. The emotions that swirled around me when I met my sister have all dissipated. I can't let myself feel sadness and hopelessness right now. I won't be able stand it if I let myself delve too far into my mind and think about what I might find when we arrive at Dachau.

The distance to Dachau is probably a four or five hour drive from my mother's village, but because we are having to work our way through enemy territory, it is taking days to go just a few miles. I've lost track of how many men I've killed. Each soldier I kill is one less individual that has a chance to hurt Tris. At least, that's been my reasoning.

The rational part of me knows that when we get there, we will not only be saving Tris, but countless others, too. Sparks' commanding officer agreed that Dachau should be a priority, and that taking Munich would fall on a regiment that is closer. However, the irrational part of me is terrified that at the rate we are going, I won't be there in time to save Tris — that there will be nothing left of her.

I sigh, leaning my head against the rough wooden beam on the barn wall and look out over my sleeping comrades. I pull my dog tags out, the cross that Tris gave me so many years ago sitting between the two pieces of flattened metal, and begin rubbing the warm gold between my finger and thumb. I've been doing this recently, trying to distract myself by remembering everything about Tris, praying that I find her alive as I try to push myself forward and not give in to the despair, and praying that she is able to withstand the torture they are inflicting on her. I feel like I am trying to push my strength into that piece of metal for God to take it to her.

I close my eyes briefly, trying to will sleep to wash over me, but it's no use. I mostly sleep when exhaustion overtakes me, and even then, it's only for a few precious hours. The nightmares of her torture force me awake, just as the man in black pulls the trigger to end her life.

I feel a cold, wet nose brush against my hand, and I jump at the contact; the cross falls onto my chest with a small tinkling sound. One of the dogs we brought with us, a black and white collie mix, pushes my hand with his nose again. I recognize him as the one that was assigned to Zeke, and roll my eyes at him. I give the mutt a quick scratch behind the ears, then stop. "Go on now. Go back to Zeke," I whisper, waving my hand toward where Zeke is snoring lightly next to Uriah, his hand thrown over his face.

The dog just continues to stare at me with his tongue out, his tail lightly thumping against the ground. "What the hell, dog? Go on. Zeke's your handler. Not me," I whisper yell, trying not to wake everyone around me as my anger quickly rises.

The dog paws at my leg and whines, then lays his head down against my thigh. I lift my arms so I don't touch him. "Fuck," I whisper. "You aren't going to leave me alone, are you?"

His tail thumps in response and I sigh in defeat, bringing my hands back down. I would rather not have to sleep with the stupid, smelly mutt, but if I start shoving him away, I'm going to wake someone up. "Fine. You can stay tonight, but that's it. Zeke can tie you to his leg tomorrow for all I care." I put my hand against his head, closing my eyes, gently scratching his head to give me something to do, and I feel the dog relax against my leg. I breathe deeply and slowly, gently running my fingers over his soft fur, trying to conjure up all the pleasant memories of Tris I have to keep my sanity and relax my muscles.