Look After You- Niam Horayne

The Story-Chapter 12

LIAMS POV

I watched Niall with a blank expression, but what was going off inside me was enough. I was practically shaking in my gut, curious yet scared about what Niall was about to tell me. He seemed so terrified to explain his story. Though I was shaking metaphorically, he was literally vibrating with worry.

Niall was pacing back and forth along the length of his room, his bare feet rubbing against his baby blue fluffy carpet. He had his nails in his mouth and he was nipping on them loudly, a frightened look on his face. I wanted to help him, to soothe his worry but I couldn't find the words. So I just waited until he was ready enough to tell this part of his life which he hadn't discussed with me before. I should be a little offended that he hasn't told me this as I thought he came to me about everything, but I didn't blame him. This was bound to be a rough fragment of his short crappy life. Perhaps it wasn't as bad as his alcoholic father abusing him and his dead mother, but it was still going to be tough for him to explain.

I figured all I could do was let him spill all of this information in his own time and not budge him to tell me. It was his choice, although my mind was racing with all of the possibilities Alex Royden could have done to ruin his school life. I always believed he had just gotten so depressed over his family that he had to drop out from lack of concentration but my theory didn't seem to connect anymore.

This Alex kid had hurt him so badly that just his name would make him flinch, make him remember. Maybe it would hurt him to say all of this. I could just live with not knowing if it caused him pain to recall this memory...

"Please just don't rush me on this," Niall whispered finally. "I-I am sorry it's taking s-so long, it's just difficult for me to... remember."

I half smiled at him and perched down on his bed again. I patted the spot next to me, an indication for the invite for him to sit with me. I figured that I could soothe him enough so he could feel safer, better.

Once he took a seat beside me, I pulled him closer and murmured in his ear, "Just take your time, love."

He nodded gratefully but began quicker than I imagined, but spoke his words slowly and carefully to emphasise his emotions. He didn't cry once, but I heard the high rating of sadness in his tone. He was fucked up, like really fuckedup.

"Itwassummer, late June. It was the start of a new year and it was when my Dad began to abuse me. I used to just take it... Let him fuck me up while I lay there and withered in pain until he quit. My mum was already dead so the abuse was real bad. My brother... Greg, he was old enough to leave home so he did. He packed his bags and left me with this alcoholic father who I couldn't fight off.

"It was the start of my depression. I went to the pharmacy and they gave me depression tablets as I pretended my brothers friend as my Dad so the guy would give me them. It worked out okay, but the tablets didn't really help much. I kept taking them, just for the sake of it. But school was the only way out of my Dad's grasp, so I kept going.

"I had no friends there. Literally, nobody wanted to have anything to do with me. People always picked on me during class, because I never fit in. That's when I started selfharming, it was like I was replacing emotional pain with physical pain and at the time, I thought I deserved it. It went on like this for about two months until this new kid called Will Graham turned up. I thought he was absolutely beautiful. He had moussy brown hair and light brown eyes. I began... crushing?

"It was probably the best day of my life when my Maths teacher Mr Barnes seated me next to Will. At first, Will didn't say anything. It was as if my whole world had come crashing down at the fact I would never hear his voice, not once. But then... then he said hello to me. He introduced himself in this pretty high-pitched voice. Some people may say it was off-putting but it just made him this extra bit special to me. He was my knight and shining armour.