Look After You- Niam Horayne

Home- Chapter 34

Niall's POV

Home wasn't familiar to me. There was a large difference between house and home, I believe. A house is just a place to stay, but a home is a place you feel safe, comfortable, and welcome. A place you don't have to hide, or dread going to after a long day. It's where you should want to be. I've never had a home, just a building to rest my head. Nowhere I belong.

Until now, of course. The paperwork was done. I was going to stay with Veronica for two weeks until it was my birthday and I could legally live with Liam. Of course, I was so looking forward to spending my life with him, but I couldn't wait to finally have a home. Even if it was temporary, I had two people that cared about me in there that genuinely wanted me there. I would be safe.

On an even brighter note, I hadn't cut myself in two weeks. It was easier to deal with when Liam was with me the majority of the time, and nothing was going wrong yet. I'd been taking my bipolar medication to avoid episodes, and I now had better control of my emotions. My depression pills also helped, and I found myself smiling more often.

It was Thursday at midnight, and tomorrow morning I'd be off with Veronica. I was lying in Liam's bed with him, both of us awake but not speaking. The silence wasn't awkward or uncomfortable- we were both deep in thought. Our breathing matched as we lay side by side gazing at the ceiling. His door was locked. We were in our own private bubble.

Liam had been happier recently, too. He'd been more clingy to me which I didn't mind one bit. Our making out has been taken a step further on one or two occasions, where we'd be palming each other. But it still didn't get that far, and that was okay... I mean, I wasn't ready for the sex part yet, but I found myself so sexually attracted to Liam that it was hard not to just rip his clothes off and sit on his lap.

Shit. The thought got me all squirmy, and I felt myself begin to feel aroused. This didn't help the situation, either; thinking about Liam and me being intimately involved always got me flustered and hard. Then I usually had to take care of myself in the bathroom, too embarrassed to talk to him about it. It helped when I comforted myself with the thought of myself making him feel the same way.

The thing was, it made me a little down when I reminded myself of his lost virginty. I was the only one with something I'd lose. Liam had had sex on numerous occasions, whereas I wasn't even ready to fuck the man I'd fallen in love with. It was pretty pathetic, but I knew Liam wasn't going to go over the boundaries until I was eighteen. The thought was grateful as well as depressing.

Just at that moment, Liam rolled over onto his side facing me. His hair was messy and stuck to his forehead, and his lips were pursed. His melting brown eyes bored into mine as the crease in his eyebrows deepened at his expression.

"What'?" I questioned, smirking at his cute look.

He shrugged, before laughing. "I was just absorbing the beautiful sight next to me. Is it a crime to find my beautiful boyfriend immensely attractive?" He raised an eyebrow, still chuckling croakily.

"Attractive? You must have another boyfriend, then." I retorted, rolling my eyes. I also spun around so I was on my side facing him, enjoying the view myself. He was so adorable when he was like this, which made it worse.

He shook his head. "Nope, it's definitely just you, love. Hey, why the long face? I thought you'd be happy; you'll be moving out tomorrow." I hadn't noticed until now that I was frowning.

"Yeah, I am... It's not that." I mumbled. Would it be a good time to mention my sexual needs? I was so embarrassed; I could feel the redness flame in my cheeks. He noticed, because he ran his soft fingers over my fiery skin, a puzzled expression dominating his features.