Heart Rallies

Deux: Aneurysm

“SEFF WALTER YU!”

My Mom shouted as soon as I got out of my car. It was loud enough that I know whoever was walking outside would be startled when her voice gets heard. I gave her the poker face.

“Hi Mom,” I greeted her and kissed her on her cheeks. I tried to get past her so I could go to my room and just stay away from everyone but my mom stood in the middle of the door which simply made it impossible for me to get in. Both her hands are on her waist.

"Magpaliwanag ka."

Oh hell, how can I just leave and sleep peacefully? My mom saying two words calmly is one of those scenes wherein you have to prepare for what would happen next. It meant danger. It meant that she's very mad and that my father would get involved soon.

I took a deep breath. There's no other way to get past this.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to be alone for some time. I'm so sorry to get you worried," I said, head bowed.

"Get inside our room. Your dad and I's room," she said and pointed the way in. I felt like I'm back to highschool where I get scolded because of going home late. As soon as I got inside the room, the battle started.

I took a seat on the bed. Dad wasn't inside.

Yet.

"Magsabi ka nga sa akin! Paano mo nagawa na umalis ng isang linggo ng hindi mo nagagawang sabihin sa akin kung anong nangyayari sayo?! Ni hindi mo sinasagot ang tawag ko! Sabi mo babalik ka kinabukasan kaya pinagbigyan kita!"

I remained silent. I know what I did and I am not sorry for it. Can't they understand that?

"Bakit ba ginagawa mong mahirap para sa akin ito?" my mother started crying. "Alam mo naman na naiintindihan kita. Hindi mo naman kailangang lumayo ng ganun sa amin. Pakiramdam ko hindi mo alam na may pamilya ka."

"Mom, I know that you're there for me but I don't think I can share this pain with you," I said. We're an open family. We share secrets and we make it a point to talk about our issues. How can I share this with my family when the people involved are also part of this family?

"What do I have to do to make it easier for you?" she asked me. "Do you need me to have Ethan talk to you? Will that make it lighter for you?!"

"NO! Mom, don't do that. Ethan and I are okay now. I don't want anything that will put a crack on our relationship again. Like what I said during their wedding, there's no other reality than destiny for the two of them. I am weak to go against that," I said sadly.

I saw my mother calm down. I know that she is just as helpless as I am in comforting me.

"Ano bang ginawa mo nung umalis ka?"

"Nagpalipas lang ng oras. Naglakad lakad, nagisip. Inisip ko kung ano ng gagawin ko," I answered.

"What's your plan?"

"I'm leaving for the US by tomorrow. I will just cut my vacation short," I answered.

"Do you need me to go with you so you can have someone around? I can ask your father to let me take some vacation."

I nodded and said yes.

I left the country the following day with my mother.

--

Dad was surprised to learn about our plan but he agreed to let her go with me. He said he will book a flight himself and go on vacation with her. As soon as I went back, I started drowning myself to work. I wake up as early as five, be at work by seven, an hour earlier than usual, and I would go home around 9 or 10 in the evening.