An Impossible Love [l.t au]

42.

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Sitting in weird positions on the couch for a few hours and doing absolutely nothing but going on Instagram and Youtube from my iPad isn't the best of ideas. Especially if you have a bad back. I feel like I'm going to give myself a bad back. I also feel like leprechauns would hate me.

I mean, if you think about it, those small little elves would roast the shit out of me. It wouldn't be very welcoming.

So when the doorbell rings, I have a very painful time trying to make myself look presentable for the person at the door. When I finally manage to get up and not grimace, I limp over to the door and open it slowly.

Almost too slowly.

But who I'm looking at I wasn't prepared for. My mouth parts open and then shuts close again, my teeth coming in harsh contact with my lower lip.

"H-hi," I mutter out.

Louis awkwardly shifts from his right foot to his left. "Can I come in?"

I again very slowly open the door further and move to the side for him to come in. He walked in very uncomfortably.

I guess I'm in a state of shock because this is all kind of seems surreal. How did he find my address? Oh, right, when he dropped me off that day... But why is he-

"Your father isn't home, is he?" He says stiffly again.

I shake my head addled. He nods looking down.

To be honest, this whole situation is awkward and uncomfortable.

Wow, kill myself.

"Oh, sorry. We'll just, um, go somewhere we can sit..." I say waving over to where the living room is and start walking.

He follows behind me and I kind of just hover against the couch across from where Louis' about to take a seat. He look around the place before his eyes fall over to the big grey wall. "Why is there a broken phone on the ground?"

Shit, I forgot to clean that up.

"I don't know." I say and fidget with my fingers. He eyes me dubiously but doesn't comment on it. "Do you want anything from the kitchen?"

"No."

I suppress a sigh from his blunt answer. Instead, I ask the question we're all probably wondering: "Why'd you come here?"

Louis doesn't reply right away with this question. He's either making up an excuse in his head, or contemplating on whether to tell me. Louis can make up excuses on the spot, so it's probably the latter. "I didn't want to go home."

Should've thought about the vague responses.

For the first few seconds, I don't know what to say. In my head, I have all these scenarios planned out where I'd be super talkative with him and stuff but then when we actually talk, there appears to be no words that can actually form and come out.

So I decide not to say anything at all.

I feel a vibration from my iPod- since my phone is no longer in use and luckily, we all have Apple- and open up a text from Elizabeth and Brendon saying that they're coming over. I quickly send them a text that I have a guest over. If Louis' actually over and I'm not dreaming right now, I don't want to be rude and just be like 'Yo, my friends are coming over. You can stay down here, I'll wait upstairs.' It's obvious he came here for a reason- why not find it out?

When I look up from my phone again, I see Louis scanning over the two identical paintings we have over the two big opposite walls. They're really nothing special- just something my mom had bought from a small convention somewhere. I always thought they were weird because it's the same old, forest-island type painting.

Though, Louis' interest catches my interest because it appears that he really is going over each detail. I don't want to ruin his concentration by saying anything, so I try to see what he sees- but I'm not a mindreader and I don't exactly know what he's seeing, or what he's interpreting.

The sketch lines are really all I see. Of course, the paint, too. I would be comparing it to Neverland, but it looks nothing like the magical island. I look to the clock behind me.

It's nearly six. If I knew this would be happening in the morning, I would've at least prepared myself to look better and know what to say to not make it this weird.

I'm sure my father knows how to make the best conversation, why didn't he teach m-

Oh no, what's Dad going to say if he walks in on this circumstance? I need to hurry this up.

"Why do you have to be so equivocal?" I call out without any thoughts. Do I even know what the word means?

Louis creases his eyebrows. "What?"

"Why don't you want to go back home?" Shifting myself a bit on the small couch, I look at him. You know, longer for two seconds. I look at him.

He shrugs.

"Did something happen?" I lean on.

"How do you always have so many questions to ask?"

"You came to my house and you're not telling me why. You never tell anyone why for anything!" I exclaim.

"I don't have to."

"It would be nice if you did."

"It would please you because your curiosity would come to an end."

I stay quiet at that.

"That's the only reason why anyone wants to know anything. So why care to give an answer?" He says.

Doesn't he get it? Some people actually want to help. I do, Parker does, hell, even Rachel does. "Everyone has curiosity inside them. But not everyone takes that to their own advantage." I say, lowering my voice.

Louis looks at me for a moment. He's doing that scanning thing again, but not around my face- his eyes stay glued to mine. What is he looking for? Something inside me? He's already called me out for it. For trust? I think he already found that the first night we hung together.

I look away and start fidgeting with my fingers again. It's become a habit whenever I become subconsciously nervous.

"It doesn't feel like a place I belong." Louis says, lowering his voice as well. Actually, if I still was lost in my thoughts, I probably wouldn't even have listened. It's like it hurts him to actually admit it out loud.

Oh, wow, now it hits me. He never says anything because it hurts him to actually find that his inner emotions are actually happening. Is that the case?

Taking a deep breath, I say, "I have Monopoly. Wanna play?" 

a/n: hi, Harry's song is amazing. okay, bye!