An Impossible Love [l.t au]

52.

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There's nothing worse than sitting down with your father and continuing to converse about your future. It get's even worse when you don't know how to tell him if you're even going to straight to college.

To be completely honest, I feel lucky that I even made it into the college but actually attending it is something that I don't know I can do. Everyone knows I'm not the smartest person around, and though after the last recital I haven't played much, I'd wanted to continue with my piano. It sucks that I never bothered to apply for any music college.

Although I do want to make a career out of playing piano, and I do want to take a break for a year to let myself calm down, being a pharmacist and a teacher had sort of popped in my mind last year when the teacher had made us think about our life choices. They're not my go-to jobs, but definitely will take if my first options are unavailable.

On top of that, though, I don't know how it'll look to my dad. If for some reason my life doesn't go right, I'll actually end up living on the streets in a cardboard box eating a piece of lettuce I'd steal from a rabbit. But I don't want to pressure myself into going to college.

"And at your age, it's important to set your mind on what you'd want to become in the future. What you want to do with your life. Where you want to be headed," He continues.

I nod in agreement. "Of course, Dad. I know."

He tilts his head and takes another spoonful of the peas. "So, tell me, Alexandra. What do you plan on doing and how can I contribute to help you?"

This is the part where I have to think of putting my thoughts into words which won't come off as me not knowing. I take a deep breath. "Well...I had been thinking of maybe going more towards the teaching side. I feel I could be a great teacher." He slowly nods waiting for me to carry on. "Or, um...possibly not, but maybe a pharmacist? Something medical but not too medical cause I'm only going to college."

As expected, he has gone silent. I quickly add on. "Which is why I had chosen Medicine as a course and hey, they let me. Dad, don't worry, I already know what could come out of this but I believe I have a chonce at it."

A small smile grows on his face and his finalized nod indicates to me that he's willing to help me with this one. "Okay. I believe you can do it."

I smile back gratefully.

"As long as I see you actually working for it," He raises an eyebrow.

I scoff. "I know, Father. Thanks a lot."

And so we both finish eating. After doing my father a great favour by washing my plates and utensils, I take my phone from the table and walk over to the keyboard in front of the ugly coloured wall.

~*~

The first thing I do when I enter my fourth period class is look around. My neck needs a good stretch and I'm afraid that if I tilt it to give it a crack, it might just snap off.

"You look like a giraffe,"

I drop my binders at the hear of the voice and sheepishly rub the back of my neck. "You were only supposed to silently judge."

Louis takes a seat in his usual spot a desk in front of me, where I would usually stare at the back of his head and gawk for God knows how long. I pick up the papers that slipped out from my binder from the ground and then proceed to sit down, opening my binder to put them back.

He turns around, though, to face me. "I had to speak my mind."

"Comparing people to animals is my thing." I counter back. He scoffs a bit which causes other people to glance at us from time to time, probably wondering why the hell he's talking to me. This makes me look up at Louis and then back down to my desk when I see he's watching me place my papers back.

A frown wants to make its way across my face. Did none of these people ever think I had a chonce? Did none of them ever think it really is possible for someone like me to be with someone as hot and cool as him? Is that why it's so weird for them to witness us being friendly?

"What's that?" Louis questions and I follow his eyes to trail over to the lined paper with a giant dead smiley face across it. A blush begins to creep on my face as I frantically flip over to the other sectors. On the other side of that page was me writing Louis' name and attempting to draw him like they do in those movies, but that never worked out so I kept it in there. I had totally forgotten I ever did that.

"Nothing, nothing. Not that important." I dismiss it.

A smirk grows on his face and I'm sure he knows exactly what it was since he has the fucking tattoo on his arm. But he turns around to face the front when our ugly science teacher brings everyone's attention to the big white board.

The guy beside me stops looking between me and Louis' freaking head and finally looks over to the front when I decide to give him a glare. Sometimes, I really do wish more people had belief for me.

The teacher claps her hands and counts all the students in the class. "Two, six, ten...okay, perfect! We have just enough students to start our final lesson of the year, and well, of secondary school."

People in the back of the class give a 'whoo!' at this.

"I've created another slideshow which you can makes notes on. When you're done I'll explain everything." She says and people begin to pull out their paper.

"Psst," The guy beside me hisses.

I look over at him annoyed. "I don't have any paper, sorry."

"Yes, you do. You have a stack right there." He pushes and points to my stack of lined paper.

I shake my head. "You didn't pay two dollars to buy this neatly stacked bunch."

"Come on, don't be a duck and spare a buck."

I give him a weird look. Don't be a duck and...? But choosing not to say anything else for the sake of me not getting in trouble, I rip a page out of the three rings and hand the paper over to him.

He pouts. "You ruined it." I shrug and don't say anything, turning back to the teacher and get a pen ready in my hand. "Thanks, Alex."

Him saying my name gets my head to snap back at him again. "Don't know my name?" Ashamed, I shake my head slowly. "It's Bryan. We've been in the same class for two years."

Well you can't really blame me. I only come to this class for Louis and everyone else is completely invisible to me. Except Stacy. I can smell her desperation from here.

I apologize to Bryan and then continue to ignore him for the rest of the class, since I had to do my job of pretending I'm taking down notes when really, I'm writing down the weirdest thoughts that come to my mind.

Just as my thoughts fly from Stacy existing, she begins to occupy Bryan's attention with whatever the hell they're talking about. If I didn't feel so bored, I would've actually thought that my mind was playing tricks on me when I see Stacy glare at me between me and Louis. When I catch her eyes the second time, she simply gives me a smile and then turns back in her seat.

A long sigh leaves my lips. People are really annoying.

a/n: i a m so s o r r y for not updating. I genuinely feel so bad i was just out of it and now school's over so i can update like every day and try to keep you guys happy.

THANK YOU FOR 16K READS THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME HOLY CRAP.

also, who'd be interesting in reading another book that I might be starting soon? it'll be another louis rom-com, don't worry :)