The Stars Lie {Myrnin, Morganville Vampires}

Words Are Useless

Chapter 35 -Myrnin's POV- Words Are Useless

Finally.

My fingertips rose and fell, absent-mindedly running over the curves of the furniture as I circled. I was finally here - after 350 years of waiting, searching and planning - she was in my arms once again. I frowned as I recalled her next action - she had pulled away. I told her the truth and she had pulled away.

I didn't even know how to process that. My senses were intoxicated by the love I felt cascading out from her - but it wasn't me she loved - it was him - who is also me. Damn it, how am I supposed to compete against myself?

And what the hell could have happened that I would have ever stopped searching for her?! When we met, she had intrigued me; allured me - confounded me, like no other. Her body was fragile, human...but her scent. Her scent drew me with an undeniable compulsion the rivaled my own abilities. The taste of her lips had lingered in my senses and whispered expectant pleasures into my brain.

She had commanded me to wait - promised to find me in time. But I couldn't. She was certain our destiny would follow the same path. But I knew it wouldn't. My consciousness had been irrevocably split into two paths. I don't even know how I knew at the time, because the science was yet to be revealed. But, I knew. And that knowledge somehow ingrained itself into the very core of my being until it was no longer cognizant thought, but rather instinct, to be near her, which had driven me until this very day.

So, how could he - or rather, me (hell, I am going to need name tags to keep up with each identity) - just walk away? Was the power of the time portals to wipe memories, that strong?

Suddenly, the purr of a V8 engine, the click of a car door and the almost imperceptible patter of soft footfalls signaled Claire's return. I spun around to see her walk back into the lab and then closed the distance between us in a blur.

Claire's heavy lidded eyes were tired but she seemed calm. She even smiled drowsily, "Were you pacing?"

"Well, look who is clairvoyant and never shared with me..." I teased her, and then looked around the lab curiously. "Or are there little bugs by which you have been watching me? If I had known...I would have put on a show," I said suggestively and waggled my eyebrows.

She hit my arm playfully. Hmmm. She was definitely more relaxed, but maybe it was a residual effect of sleep deprivation. "You always pace when you are upset," she explained knowingly.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, completely serious now.

"Yes. I am fine."

"What did she want?" I half snarled the question, stressing the word 'she' with distaste.

Claire yawned and assured me, "Everything is okay. But can we talk about this in the morning?"

"Oh....okay...of course. I guess I will call Rhysian. I am certain he will not mind if I stay with him." I hadn't thought past this moment of being with her again, and realized I needed to get my affairs in place.

"What?" Claire looked at me in confusion.

"Um...Rhysian..." Now I was confused.

"No. You will stay here. Amelie wants you to stay here...with me."

"Amelie wants..." I said derisively. "Yeah, I am not at all inclined to agree to what Amelie wants." My voice dropped as I stared into her eyes. "Tell me what you want," I asked her silkily. "And remember...I know when you speak the truth..." My dark eyes held her captive, while I waited for her response.

"Stay," she whispered.

"Done!" I grinned as I settled myself down on the couch. A little lumpy for my taste, but I've had worse.

"Wait! No...you take the bed. The lab is technically your home. I don't mind sleeping on the couch."

"Ha! A gentleman would never allow that," I scoffed. "And I am nothing, if not a gentlemen..." I smiled alluringly at her.

Her eyes grew wide and I felt her body respond to me. Heat rushed from her center and I struggled to keep control of my desires. This wasn't the right time. I didn't move and waited until her emotions calmed again.

"Um...okay" Her words came out with a little squeak, which was damn near adorable. She shifted on her feet, hesitating as she looked at the bedroom door and then back to me. She remained silent. I strained to decipher her emotions. She wanted something from me. No...needed...something from me...but not in sexual way, so what was it? I was perplexed and asked her gently, "Yes?"

A beautiful soft pink spread across her cheeks. The suspense of not knowing what she wanted was killing me, but I forced my features to remain relaxed.

She shook her head slightly and bit her lip. "It's nothing," she sighed.

Yeah, no - her non-answer wasn't going to work for me. I stood to my feet slowly in front of her.

She looked down, hiding her eyes.

I gently lifted her chin with my fingertips, forcing her full attention on my response. I whispered, "Whatever it is, the answer is yes..."

She reached a tentative hand out to hold mine and said so quietly, I had to focus to hear her words. "Would you...hold me...while I fall asleep?"

Oh shit.

My self-control was tenuous at best. I was not at all sure how I was going to react when I held her against my chest and we were in bed together. Damn, my future-self must be a saint if she thinks I have the wherewithal to be that close to her - without being that close to her.

But there was something in her eyes. I nodded.

She exhaled and I felt it then. She let go. She let her guard down and her pain came crashing through. The force of it shocked my senses and then I knew I could do this. I wanted nothing more than to take her pain away. I would do anything to ease just the tiniest amount of her suffering.

Her breath caught as she tried to keep a whimper from escaping her throat. Then her hand clenched down on mine. I don't think she even realized she had done it. Instead, it seemed to be an involuntary response - her brain trying to lock down the members of her body to stop the ensuing melt down. It didn't work. A small cry released from her lips.

I reached down to cradle her in my arms as her strength gave out. Her body began to shake; the tears and sobs overtook her. I carried her to the bed and gently lay down next to her, wrapping her securely in my embrace. Every bone in my body ached; rejecting the sight of seeing her in so much pain, as the tears consumed her completely, shattering her last ounce of control.

Words felt useless in this moment. Her cries increased and she panted as she tried to force her lungs back into submission. Gradually, her breathing slowed and the jerking of her body subsided. She hiccuped a few more times and then fell asleep in my arms.