Finally (Gay Romance)

Chapter Fourteen- Changed

I finished eating breakfast and realized that I had not texted Chris the night before. I looked for the paper that he had given me with his phone number on it. While I was looking for it I found the letter I had received that was written by Ryan.

I forgot that I hadn't read the letter. I opened it up and when I did it smelled like the cologne that he used to wear. That had brought up a lot of memories that I had with him. It made me really upset and really happy all at once.

It was in his not so neat handwriting but I loved that it was authentic. It was dated the day before the accident in really small lettering in the top right corner.

DearJames

I want you to know how much you have meant to me throughout the time we have been together. You are the light of my life, the air that I breathe, and my reason for loving. Although I love you with everything that I am I know in my heart that you will never feel the same. I see it in your eyes when we speak, I feel it in your kiss, and the unmistakable feeling I get when you touch me. It hasn't been the same although I never admitted it. For those reasons someone else was able to steal your heart from me. I never wanted this to happen but things haven't been the same for a while between us. When you're around him I can see a sparkle in your eyes that you used to have when you were around me. I know you don't want to admit it but I think your feelings for him run deeper than they do for me. I want you to be happy even if it isn't with me. I will always remember you...

Ron

By the end of the letter I was in tears. I didn't know that he felt this way. He left me with all go these feelings swelled up inside of him. I wish I had a way to reply to him, to tell him how I felt. I honestly really did like him. But he was right and I would have liked to tell him that.

Throughout that entire letter everything he said was right. And the guy who he thought I had loved was Ryan. I was really conflicted now about what to do about Chris. I decided I wanted to text Ryan first.

I wanted to tell Ryan how I truly felt. I wanted to tell him everything that Ron had said and tell him that I had realized I liked him more than a friend.

I started to think about all of the occurrences that had happened. He had let me lay on his chest while we watched a movie. He had purposely gotten one blanket so that we would have to share it since it was too small. He had looked at me in lunch and he had decided to be my lab partner. He was there immediately after Ron had left and he did track because I was doing it. He had had a girlfriend so what if he was bi. I decided to text him.

'Ryan you and I have been really great friends. I just found and read a letter Ron had written to me. It was the last letter he had written before he left because of the accident. He said that he was eventually going to break up with me because my feelings had been going and were devoted to someone else. I hadn't realized this until I read that letter but he was right. And that someone else is you. You're the one that I have been devoting my feelings to. I don't know if you'll feel the same but if you do I just really want you to know that this is how I feel about you. If you don't feel the same we can still be friends.'

I was really hoping that he would reply how I wanted him to reply. I hope I wasn't taking all of the signs the wrong way and I didn't want our friendship to be over because I had feelings and he didn't.

I still had to text Chris so I went with a simple 'hey'. He took a while to reply but he did with a simple.

'Who might this be?'

'Its James... the guy from the track meet.'

I went upstairs to my room just to relax. I turned on my TV and I just went go the music channel. I opened up my curtains so I had a lot of light and just played down. 'Oh hey. How are you?'