Chapter 18 - Nigel / Marcus

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CHAPTER 18
NIGEL QUINTIN ULYSSES


Julia is calling my name out loud, knocking on the door hard, which she hardly ever does. Usually she'd ring up my phone, tell me that she's at the front porch waiting for me to come down and greet her, shower me with kisses, and give me a tight hug. But today is a different day. She bangs on the door hard and I've got an impression that it's starting to wake the neighborhood up. Both Marcus and I stop having a pillow fight, and based on the expression he's wearing right now, which he tries hard to mask away but fails to do so, he's kind of pissed.

He and I share a look, but to say I'm embarrassed in an understatement. I'm beyond that. I'm mad at Julia for being like this; I so badly want to help her out, but she wouldn't let me in. It's like something is pulling her back from trusting me, and it goddamn hurts like hell.

"Get to her," he says to me in a low voice, looking away from me. I have to admit, it hurts me to see him like this. I don't know why, but I have this feeling that he's sad. From the corner of my eyes, I see his hands clenching and unclenching and I wonder if there's something I could to calm him down before I get downstairs and ask my girlfriend what the hell was that knocking about. "Go. I'll stay here." He tells me before grabbing the blanket and draping it over himself, lying back down in the bed. My heart clenches at the sight of him and I force the feeling away, because my girlfriend is still downstairs, knocking as hard as she can while shouting my name out loud.

I get downstairs and walk straight right to the door, opening it up. Julia steps in, her hair in a mess and I want to ask her what happened, but then I remember her rude way of barging into my house and banging the door out loud.

"What the hell was that, Julia?" I ask her, getting angry over the fact that she's been treating me like shit, and I don't like that. "Seriously, what's happening with you?" I ask her, rising my voice and glaring down hard at her.

For a moment, I see the familiar emotion in her eyes that I've grown accustomed to love, but then it washes away and has been replaced with something I can't understand. Her gaze hardens, then she says "We need to talk," and we all know that when someone says that sentence, it's either you are in big trouble or he or she will deliver a bad news to you. And I don't want any of that. What her next words shock me, though. Because I haven't been expecting it. "Whatever we have, it's not working." Her voice rings in my ears, and it keep replaying over and over inside my head, never stopping.

Looking at her hard, I grip her shoulders and grit my teeth. "What the hell are you talking about?" I don't want to believe it, never want to say the words, because I know that it's going to hurt me a lot. We have always believed that we're meant for each other, that we're going to get married and have kids and have a wonderful life. But we haven't even thought of this moment. "You... you... there's something wrong. I can feel it. You're not telling me something."

"Please, Nigel," Julia says exasperatedly, her shoulders sagging down as she looks down on the floor. She stares at the floor, suddenly finding it interesting rather than me. Pain explodes into my heart. I'm not prepared for this. I have never even prepared for this. I always thought that we'd be a happy family someday, that I'm going to kneel down and ask her to marry me. But clearly that isn't going to happen now that she wants to end the relationship we have. "I don't want it to end this way, but this seems like the best thing to do. It hurts me to see you like this, believe me, but..." she lets out a sigh, shaking her head. "You've been my best friend, Nigel, my protector. You were the center of my world, but we're still young. We meet a lot of people..."

"Are you saying you're seeing someone right now?" I ask her through gritted teeth.

To be honest, I don't know what to feel anymore. I know for a fact that I'm mad at her, but at the same time, there are other feelings I have in my heart that I can't understand. It's all mixed up. Questions run inside my head; questions like how long has this been going on? Is she cheating on me? Why is she doing this to me? I want to ask her, but I can't seem to utter the words out loud for I'm afraid of the answers. I have done nothing but to treat her gently, like a gentleman should do to her woman. But somehow, it's still not enough for her. If it was, then she wouldn't have cheated on me with someone.

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