Halcyon (Bo Burnham Fanfiction)

Highest Low

POV Alana.

It took months for Bo to understand that we were over and this wasn't something he could brush under the rug with a night out or day at the beach. I know bad is a vag word but I've felt so bad the past few months. I don't even know how to properly describe what the distance I was putting between us made me feel. It was so empty and cold without him in my life. When he was by my side the world always hade this warm tint and everything seemed so much brighter. There were a few times my thumb would hover over his contact or I would write out long paragraphs for him only to delete them. I blocked his number and stopped answering the door having my brother do it for me.

I spend days at a time in my room only leaving to get a new tub of cookie dough ice cream or use the restroom. I was gaining weight, my room smelled awful, my grades are dropping, and my family and Aya are worried for me. I need something to change. I need something to fill the gaping hole in my heart that he left.

I tried to drink my troubles away the way I saw Bo do so many times. But I barely got through half a cup of Burben before I completely disregarded that plan. I hate drinking and what it does to people. Changing the way they act. That goes for drugs too. I didn't even glance at the option of turning to drugs. I have a low threshold for pain so self harm wasn't appealing and I'm to antsy to sit down long enough to get lost in the internets alternate universe.

So I became obsessed with school. I went from an A, B, and occasional C student to a straight A student. I started eating healthier and exercising to loss the weight I had gained during my binging. I had never been so healthy, active, and had grades this amazing in my life. An outsider could say I was at my highest. But I had never felt so low.

My feelings for Bo and the emptiness his absence brought never really went away. I just became numb to their existence. I would go on dates and meet new people but they always left something to be desired. As fucked up as Bo was nobody could compete.

But I did graduate high school with honors. From what I heard Bo didn't graduate at all. I got accepted to a prestigious college out of state. My parents even helped pay first months rent on an apartment not to far off campus. I can actually ride my bike there every morning.

Aya even came with me! She didn't apply to any colleges since she doesn't know what she wants to do yet but she is rooming with me for now. She got a job at a cute coffee joint a few blocks over and helps me pay the rent.

The change of scenery was not only much needed but I found my passion for writing here. When I was looking for a part time job that would work with my collage schedule I came across this small news outlet. When I write everything has this warm tint and everything seems so much brighter...