OUR LOUD MINDS → bts fanfiction

Chapter Eighteen

☁︎

Namjoon

I stared at the box for what seemed like forever. Now that it had been uncovered again, I couldn't stop thinking about it. And now, on this Saturday morning that I should've been  using to study, I had pulled it out of my closet for whatever reason, then just sat it on the bed. I'd been watching it for the past ten minutes. I didn't really know what I'd planned on doing with it.

I shook my head and let out a groan.

"What are you doing?" I murmured to myself.

Running my fingers through my hair, I picked up the box and began to carry it back to where it belonged. I was being ridiculous. And I couldn't help but feel it was all Anna's fault. I reached out to open the closet door, but paused. It was a weird thing that happened then, something that still echoes in my head. I heard, vividly and clearly, Anna's voice run through my mind.

"Have you ever for any moment in your life enjoyed studying? More than anything?"

I brought my hand away from the door, slowly. Was that even worth asking? Was the answer not painfully obvious to her? To anyone? Had I ever been happy with myself? With studying?

"No," I whispered.

Suddenly, the door to my room flew open, and my mother poked her head in.

"I'm running to a parent-teacher assembly-- what are you doing, Namjoon?" She began.

I blinked and quickly turned around, hiding the box behind my back. It was quite difficult to do, seeing as how large and bulky the box was. But she seemed oblivious, luckily.

"Just tidying up. I'm about to start my homework," I told her.

"Now?" She glanced at her watch. "You usually start an hour earlier than this."

"Yeah, s-sorry."

"Well, I'll see you when I get back," my mom said, closing the door again.

I let out a shaky breath, then without hesitation, I turned around and opened the closet. Only for a second did I freeze up as I slid the stupid box back into the dusty corner it belonged in.

I didn't know what I'd been thinking.

☁︎

A sudden buzzing was what snapped me out of the haze I'd fallen into, pounding away at a difficult math problem. I blinked and glanced over to my phone which sat on the edge of my desk, untouched for an hour. I tilted my head and grabbed it.

"Party at 8 tonight. And guess who's going???" Jung Hoseok had texted.

I frowned. Why would I care about that? But just as I was about to respond, another text came in.

"You are!!!"

I snorted bitterly and shook my head. Was he crazy? I was about to respond with a short and simple "no" when I realized that maybe responding would only encourage him. Nodding, I placed my phone down again. In all my three years at high school, I'd never been to a party that had anything to do with teenagers mingling about, drinking, sleeping together, or whatever they did at high school parties. I found it useless and wasteful.

Well, Mother does.

I suppose I didn't have much of an opinion on them. But they were probably just a waste of time. I sighed and shook my head again. But now I couldn't concentrate. Frustrated, I got up to get myself something to drink. As I was about to leave, my phone buzzed again. I paused at the door, glancing back to the desk where another text, from Hoseok no doubt, sat.

Well, there's nothing wrong with reading it, at least.

I sighed and walked back over to retrieve it.

"I know you read that. Class president, I don't care what you say. I have no one to go with."

I tilted my head. That must have been a lie. There was no way Jung Hoseok wouldn't have someone to go to a party with him.

"Crap, that sounded really pathetic. Well, whatever. Now you know that this isn't just because I feel like having you tag along. I need someone to go with," he continued.

At this point, I decided to just reply before he started to make a whole list of reasons.

"I'm busy tonight," I said simply.

And it was the truth. I had homework. Studying to be exact. My next history test was in a week, and now my tutor and I were in a difficult situation. I didn't know when we'd work together again. It was best to start early. I jumped when the phone in my hand started to ring.

"Why is he calling me?" I muttered, bringing it to my ear.

I'd never had anyone except for my mom and dad call my phone.

"Hello?" I asked slowly.

"Like you don't know who this is," Hoseok laughed from the other side.

I sighed and sat down at my chair.

"Why are you calling?" I asked him.

"I decided begging in real time would work better," he replied.

I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Listen, Hoseok. Thank you for inviting me, but I have to decline. Like I said, I'm busy," I told him.

"Yeah right, Class President. Busy probably means studying for a test that isn't for a week or something stupid like that. Am I right?"

That's strangely accurate.

"It's not stupid," I said. "It's called planning ahead."

"Woah. You're actually doing that?" He said in awe.

I was about to respond when I heard a, "you've got to be kidding me," being murmured on the other end.

"I heard that," I said with a frown.

"Listen Class President. You're my last resort. I need you to come with me," Hoseok began. "I'm going to look like a loser if I go alone. And would having a measly hour of fun really be that bad?"

If my mother found out it would be.

I was silent in reply, trying to come up with a good and final statement to let him down gently. But as I opened my mouth to begin, Hoseok spoke up.

"It's settled then. Let's meet at the Seven Eleven by the school at eight. It's good to not be the first ones there."

With that, he hung up. I let out the breath I'd been holding to talk, letting out a groan. I hated to do it, but if he didn't read my texts than Hoseok would be getting stood up. I wouldn't go.

I couldn't go.