OUR LOUD MINDS → bts fanfiction

Chapter Thirty-One

☁︎

Anna

I stared up at the taller boy with crossed arms and the coldest stare I could muster. Namjoon simply gazed down at his feet, looking a bit nervous. When he finally peaked up, his wide eyes catching mine, I felt myself soften slightly. And I wanted to hate him so badly. With sigh, I looked away.

"Will you please move, class president?" I asked coldly.

I watched as he grimaced from the corner of my eye, probably from my harsh tone.

"Anna, I just...well..." He took in a deep breath. "I know you're upset--"

"Oh really? That's a good observation. Must be because you're so smart," I replied sarcastically; I wasn't in the mood for talking, especially not with Kim Namjoon.

"Anna, please, I was being stupid that night...I-- I just was in a bad place...Yoongi...I mean Gloss--" he bit his lip, holding back for some reason.

Bad place? Yoongi? I wished now more than ever that I could read his mind too.

"It doesn't matter what you have to say, class president. I'm not in the mood right now. And I won't be for a while," I snapped bitterly.

His face fell further as I said the acidic words, but I continued.

"Now if you'll please move," I said.

Namjoon had lifted his head completely now and simply stared at me with his empty eyes. He looked pained, as if he was keeping something inside. Well he could keep it forever. He'd just been another fake. Like me. And I had enough of those in my life.

This is why I didn't make real friends.

"Anna. Please. I know I haven't been the most open person, but you have to understand..." he took a shaky breath, glancing around, anywhere but me it seemed. "I'm not...normal. I have an il--"

"Really? 'Not normal'? What the heck does that even mean? Why are you acting like your life is so hard, and everyone around you has to just suck it up and get used to you dumping them in the middle of the city or hiding them in your room for hours?" I hissed, feeling extremely fed up.

I'd lived a horrible, alienated life since I could remember, but I didn't try to make others act in way that would conform to my unnatural abilities. And now Namjoon was trying to tell me that he could just act friendly one minute but completely ignore me the next because he wasn't normal? And that I should be used to it?

"Excuse me, Kim Namjoon. But I think it was a bad idea to ever even get closer in the first place," I finished, more calm than before. "And you should find some other tutor for history. It was impossible to teach you anything, anyway."

With one last glance, I quickly turned around and stalked off, away from the quiet corner he'd confronted me in.

☁︎

I felt like a thick, heavy mist fall over me after classes began that day. I ignored everyone around me, simply staring at the classroom wall as whatever teacher droned on about whatever. I wondered if I had been too harsh with Namjoon. Then I wondered why I wasn't harsher. He may not have been in a good place, but it's not like I was. My mom was still mad at me. I was practically failing English. And now my almost real friend was turning out to be a bipolar machine who thought nothing of those around him. Almost friend...I hated to admit it, but perhaps Namjoon and I hadn't just been almost friends. Maybe we had been more than that. Maybe we'd been actual friends. For a time at least.

I sighed and laid my head against my arm. My stomach hurt. My head hurt. My heart hurt.

"Geum Shim Anna?" A hazy voice called.

"Anna. Excuse me."

"Anna!"

I sat up with a start, locking eyes with Mr. Park.

"Is my lecture boring you?" He asked with obvious annoyance.

I licked my dry lips and shook my head.

"May I go to the nurse?" I asked.

He narrowed his eyes slightly but approved. I practically ran out of the classroom. I wasn't even sure why I was acting so angry about the whole thing. The Namjoon thing. Why was I so mad? Was I overreacting? I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a loud groan. I felt so frustrated with myself. With everyone.

The lunch bell rang loudly suddenly, banging around in my head and causing even more pain. Students began to flock around me just as I slipped into the nurse's office. She looked up from her desk as I walked in.

"How can I help you?" Nurse Jang questioned.

"I need painkillers," I told her. "Please."

She motioned for me to sit and went to the file cabinets. Looking for my medication approval papers probably. I'd never come in to take anything before. I'd assisted Hye when she was feeling dizzy from lack of food, so I knew where it was. But I'd never felt the need to come for myself. I sighed and sat on the metal patient's bed in the corner. It was nice and quiet. It smelled clean. I wished I could stay here for the rest of the day.

"Here you go, Miss Geum Shim," Nurse Kang interrupted my thoughts suddenly, holding out two small white tablets. "There are water bottles in the fridge."

I nodded and hopped up to grab some. I swallowed the pills with some difficulty, feeling as though I were on the verge of throwing up. But once my stomach settled, I stumbled over to the small bed stationed behind a curtain at the back wall. I supposed the nurse decided to silently accept this, because she said nothing, didn't even glance my way in fact, as I descended upon it. I decided we had a mutual understanding that I'd be staying for a bit.

And sleeping was definitely something I needed at this point.

☁︎

"Anna!" A voice exclaimed.

I jerked my head up, then felt woozy from the sudden movement. When I looked to the source of the voice. Hye loomed over me. I sighed.

"Yes?" I replied, a bit annoyed at her sudden interruption of the quiet.

I should've waited till we were actually dismissed to head to the nurse, then I would at least have been able to hide.

"It's Seokjin and the class president!" She gasped.

A cold feeling sank through me.

"W-what are you talking about?" I asked carefully.

"Hurry up! Jin's killing him, in the cafeteria!"