Our life! A bts story

27

Suga
I call the others and they come instantly. They stay for a few hours but they aren't as upset as I am. When they leave. I break down and sit on the floor. All I can think is that it's my fault.

I come in everyday for 2 weeks and he's still not up. I lay away at night thinking about what I've done. I think about what I can do. Who I can go to. There's mark, but will he understand? No. No one will.

I'm here again. Sat in this chair. With the same white walls. With the same lifeless body in bed. Sorry jeon.

I get up and go into the hospital rooms toilet. I look everywhere until I find what I need. They're the pills. Anti-stress it says on the front. I pour them all into my hand. Every single one of them. Mum did it. Why can't I? I realise I said these words out loud. I hear a movement from outside. Probably another doctor. I put the pills to my mouth. But before I can put them in the door crashes open and someone slaps my hand making me drop all the pills on the floor. I open my eyes from the shock and notice that jeon is there. He looks terrified and so sad at the same time. "I know that she did it but your not like her. Ok? Think of how much pain she made you go through, how much pain me and the guys would go through if you did it too. Don't ever do that just wait. It'll be ok in the end. I'm sorry ok? I saved you because I needed to. Your the closest friend at the moment and I don't want to loose you! Don't do that again. Don't ever do that. Please." He starts to pace back and forward and says things really fast. I sink down onto the floor not saying a word. I feel tears drip down my cheeks.

Jeon
I stop pacing. A thought comes into my head. "Y-you didn't take any did you?" I ask wise eyed. He shakes his head no and I sink to the floor next to him, able to breathe. I hug him a lot thanking that I walked in on time to stop him. "Why?" He whispers. I get confused. "What" I ask.
"Why did you save me. Why did you help me in the office. Why did you push my out the way of the car. Why did you push the pills away. Why." He asks all these questions. I answer. "Because your a talented, handsome, adorable, amazing person and I don't want to loose you. You keep me sain. And I know that you need someone."
"How did you know that." He asks me. I quickly say that it's not important and try to change the subject.

Suga
We go out and sit in the bed again. He talks to me. Tells me stuff I never knew before.
"So you know I ran away from home. That was because I felt like no one understands me. I told my parents that I love music and I wanted to dedicate my life to it. They didn't approve and treated me differently just because of it. They wanted me to go into politics. Even my sister hated me for it. I ran away the time that I was up against my sister and my parents. They were shouting at me and the last thing I said was "at least music cares and understands me!" And then I went to pack a bag and just ran out the door. I spent a week on the streets and then decided to go back seeing as I was being over dramatic. When I got there, someone else was there and told me that they left to move house, as you know. All I could feel was unwontedness. Like I was nothing and that I never mattered to anyone."

"I spent ages on the street just looking around at everything. Trying to make a home on top of someone's roof. I had a somewhat sofa bed, a mirror, my guitar and a bag. That was it. Nothing less nothing more. I decided I should end it. I grabbed whatever money I had and told them that I wanted to go to a bridge somewhere. I didn't care where. The guy looked about as old as me. Maybe a couple years older. And I have him all my money and just walked up to the bridge. I climbed the banister and stood up tall. Then I jumped but was stopped by someone holding my collar on my t-shirt. I get pulled up and violently shoved around. But he pushed me against the wall and just hugged me. Told me never to do that. He gets me into the taxi and tells me he wants to drive around for a bit. We talk about music. He says he knows a guy so I think "what have I got to loose right?" And then We go and see Jin. The taxi guy was jung. And we make our own music on the streets. Then we see that someone wants and members we give it a shot and we're here."
I stayed silent the entire time. Jeon... oh jeon. Why did you say!? I give him a hug still not saying anything.
"It was then I felt like I had some sort of worth in the world. Like if I was gone, someone would care. So I didn't think about it ever again." He says.
"Have you ever tried to find your family again?" I say after a while.
"What! No! There is 0 chance in me finding them. I want to see them again. Say I'm sorry. Just see what happens. See if I actually mattered to them. But that won't happen." Our conversation was stopped my a doctor coming in. She did tests on jeon and said that he's had a miraculous recovery without any injuries. She said we just had to sign out and we could go.

When we get home the guys give jeon a huge hug. We don't tell them about my "incident". The first thing I do it call mark. I call him just to tell him. He seemed shocked. He's disappointed in me. I know he is. Now he's never going to want to see me again. He can't anyway. He's too far away for me to see him again. I hang up the phone and cry myself to sleep.