Through the Lens

I Do

Hailey's POV

I felt the sun on my face before I opened my eyes, gently waking me from the deep sleep I'd fallen into after Harry and I had crawled into bed with Cash. I was a bit confused as to where I was once I opened my eyes, but I could smell Harry's scent against my pillow and inhaled it deeply as I rolled over. The smell of him was intoxicating, and I found myself wishing I wasn't in an empty bed without him.

I closed my eyes, letting the warmth of the sun hit my face as I laid there, before I remembered the events of the night before. The knot in my stomach returned as I remembered the fate of my dad's shop, the close call for my brother and the uncertainty of what it all meant. In so many ways, I felt like I'd lost the last piece of my dad I had left and I hated that no matter how hard I tried I would never be able to get it back.

That feeling of grief at losing the place I felt closest to him, the helplessness that there was nothing I could do about it, was what led me to Harry's door at midnight in the pouring rain. I had never been someone who turned to others when I was upset, often disappearing into the woods to sort out my own thoughts or spending time alone to process it, but for whatever reason the only place I wanted to be was with Harry. I knew that meant something, but that realization was far more terrifying than I would have imagined.

Obviously, I knew Harry was important to me. He was the best friend I'd ever had, who seemed to just understand things without me having to explain them. I'd spent a large part of my life feeling misunderstood, which I suppose is why I spent so much time alone. I'd always been fiercely independent, hating to rely on anyone for anything or burden them with my feelings about certain things, but for whatever reason I didn't feel that way with Harry.

I'd shown up at his door in the middle of the night, allowing him to see a side of me that hardly anyone else ever did. I rarely cried in front of people, even my brother had only seen me cry a handful of times since I was a kid. I'd like to say the reasons for me showing up at Harry's like that were complicated, like everything else between us seemed to be, but it wasn't. I went to Harry because I knew I'd feel better once I was with him, and that's all there was to it.

I knew he'd wrap his arms around me and hold me as long as I needed him to, and I knew I wouldn't have to ask him for it. It just came naturally to him, and I never had to ask him or explain. He just knew, the way he always did, exactly what I needed. He did exactly what I knew he would, being there when I needed him, offering me the comfort that I knew I wouldn't find anywhere else.

I had a moment of realization at one point, being so vulnerable in front of him and showing him parts of myself that I didn't show anyone else. It scared me, and my natural reaction was to push him away. Knowing me better than I wanted him to, he knew exactly what I was doing, and exactly how to handle it. He called me out, reminding me just how well he knew me, and refused to let me run away. He'd challenged me to take a good look at myself, and as much as I hated it in the moment, I knew it was what I needed. Apparently, so did he.

That's what Harry and I did for each other. We pushed and challenged each other to look at who we are, while giving each other the freedom to be ourselves. We'd become so close, so quickly, and I could only believe that it was because we were meant to be a part of each other's lives. We were both in such uncertain places, trying to find ourselves and the right path to take, and somehow that had led us both to the same place. Together.

I think both of us had been telling ourselves that we were just best friends, two people who enjoyed each other's company and had good conversations, but deep down I think I knew from the second I met him that I felt something more for him. What I didn't know, was if it was just that natural magnetic quality he had that seemed to draw so many people to him, or if it went deeper than that. He was obviously attractive, but there were just so many things about him that were endearing and I was trying to walk the line of just loving his as a human being or something more than that. Either way, it didn't really matter because he would be leaving to go back to his real life at the end of the summer and I wasn't interested in getting my heart broken.