Through the Lens

Nowhere

Harry's POV

I stood in the booth, trying to keep my voice steady as the microphone in front of me recorded my voice, the tears pooling in my eyes as I sang the lyrics I'd come up a few months ago on that lonely night in my New York hotel room. Memories and emotions were flooding through me as I remembered how it felt, how alone I was, how it felt like my entire world was coming crashing down.

"I need something, tell me something new

Choose your words cause there's no antidote

For this curse, what's it waiting for

Must this hurt you just before you go."

I closed my eyes tightly as I recalled that feeling, not knowing what to do or where to go, the only person I wanted to talk to hadn't responded to me in months and all I could do was sit there alone and cry. It seemed like I was in the middle of what was supposed to be the best time in my life, the moment when I was coming into my own as an artist and unveiling myself to the world, but there I was feeling like nothing had ever been worse. It felt like everything had turned to shit since she left, and no matter what I did or how hard I tried I couldn't stop anything that was happening.

"I've been praying, I never did before

Understand I'm talking to the walls

I've been praying ever since New York."

By the time I finished I had tears streaming down my face, and I did my best to wipe them away as I stepped out of the booth and found everyone looking at me sympathetically.

"It's a beautiful song, Harry." My producer came over and pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry, brother."

I nodded as he pulled away, doing my best to take a deep breath and compose myself while everyone tried to look busy instead of just looking at me the same way they had been ever since I got the news. I promised I'd keep going, that I'd finish my album, and I had more motivation now than ever to get it done on time. Ever Since New York was one of the last songs I needed to record, and I was only a week away from having a final list of songs to present to the label.

"Are uh, we are done for the day?" I asked as I looked around, hoping we'd done enough so I could head home.

"Yeah, we've got enough. You go home, get some rest." Jeff said as he reached over and put a hand on my shoulder. "Get something to eat."

I sighed as I nodded and hugged everyone goodbye, letting them know I'd be back to finish up my final vocals on a few more tracks the next day, and got into my car to head home.

It was now late March, and I'd been at home in London for about two weeks. I'd done everything I could to wrap up my work in the states, and told the label I needed to finish recording in London so I could be close to my family. I only had one more day in the studio before I could finalize my list of songs, and I was hoping my album would be out in early May. Jeff was already talking about all the promotional stuff I would need to do, and I was hoping to do as much of it as I could by phone so I could spend as much time at home in England as possible.

My head had been all over the place for weeks, unable to fully process it all or even understand how it all could have happened in such a short amount of time. It was like some kind of cruel joke that was being played by the universe, that I'd come so far and was just about to get everything I'd worked so hard for, just to have something so important taken from me. It wasn't fair and I couldn't make sense of it, and as usual the only person I knew could help me couldn't seem to give me the time of day.