RESTRAINT | H.S. AU (Editing)

t h i r t y

Lisa's Point of View

Days have passed and Theo is still locked up in the dungeon. Well, I actually don't know if he is really in there which I hope not. I actually heard a lot of horrible stories that had happened inside the walls of the dungeon. Even its very medieval name puts a shrill to my bones.

The Don is calm this past few days but still it doesn't put me at ease. I learned enough that he won't be calm forever. Nothing lasts forever so I've been careful with my actions around him since any fault that I may do can trigger him to snap and it might consequently affect Theo.

So you can say that I've been very amenable to all of his wants.

When I say all, it means even those fleshly needs of a man.

It is like an unspoken routine for us already. I wake up early in the morning and majority of my time is spent to attend all my duties for him. Then at the end of the day, after he exercised his usual domination of his authority and his power to his people, I'll run a bath for him and when he is ready then it will be my cue to leave to take mine as well in the safety of my own bathroom.

After I finish my bath, I will go back to his room particulary on his bed and wait for him and when he finally arrives both us know what will happen next. And every single time, at the end of the night all that is left of me is regret.

To actually think of the details is enough to make me hate myself.

No, I haven't slept with him. We didn't do anything more than making out and groping each other body till its last inch, though the latter is more of the Don's doing.

The marks scattered to my skin that he gave me - wether it's a bruise from his lust controlled groping and kiss marks - will eventually heal but before it is even completely healed and gone,new ones will be formed again.He never makes my skin take a break. Like it's his mission to mark me permanently, might as well give me a permanent tattoo.

I know these things that a man and woman do to pleasure each other is distinct to our system. I know it is encrypted to our genes for procreation and save the extinction of the human specie. Like imagine sex or foreplay without any pleasure, I bet no one would bother even doing it. In my case, it is horrendous and wrong in anyform but I can't hide the fact that it was somehow - though I denied it million of times - pleasurable for me.

It makes me feel like a kept woman and guess I am already are one but the sinful pleasure he gives to me is something I can't say no to.

It is like I am hypnotised to succumb to him. The pleasure he gives to me makes me vulnerable till it bares me naked, scraping everything only leaving me of nothing but a fact that I am simple and normal human being who has its own earthly needs.

I know I am somehow developing some sort of feelings for him. I've been aware and I'm not sure of what exactly it is and I won't deny it but even so it feels so wrong.

Each night that has passed he pleasured me to an extent that makes me want more and every night it gets more and more heated that it is already scaring me. Though he didn't let me do or forced me to do anything lewd for him since all the work was from him, it still makes me feel that somehow this we lead to a point, a point of no return.

Last night, I woke up to his strong arms again. Reminishing what we shared I can't help but think that I maybe getting used to this to the point that it doesn't bother me at all already. In just short amount of time he knows my body so perfectly and his skilled hands are already now atuned on how to get a reaction he wants me to give. My body is like his guitar and he is this prodigy who plays every string in such skill and perfection. And just like that my body will react without second thought following his rhythm.