Drunk and Stupid (Crack)

261 4 2
                                    

Hetalia!Crossover

*Warning: Stupid shit up ahead. Probably some sexual references. Definitely drunk countries.*

"WhY Do YoU INsTist THaT i dO THIs?"

You rolled you eyes as America stumbled down the hall with a bottle of beer in his hand. Dipper clinged to you like his life depended on it, and soon was America. You groaned as all the drunk party members gathered around you for some odd reason. You were the only sober one here. You couldn't count on the only responsible one, England AKA Iggybrows, to be sober. You shouldn't trust his sorry ass around anything with alcohol in it.

"BECOME ON WITH MOTHER RUSSIA, DA?" Yelled a tipsy Russian, who was leaning against a lacking, drunk Belarusian. You were glad you didn't have to deal with that Yandere, but it still didn't get you out of your situation.

"Mon cheri, a-" Pause for a French hiccup, "-rose?" You blushed as you reached out to take the rose from the Frenchman, "France?" "Oui?" "Are you drunk?" "Is it not noticible?" "Yes or nom?" "Honhonhon." He vanished. Into thin air.

What the hell?

You could never tell when he was drunk.

Suddenly, a shirtless Soos jumped off of the second floor and out of the house, shouting, "FOLLOWING ME DUDES!" Surprisingly, everyone not clinging to you cleared out to watch the amusing Soos.

America leaned all of his weight against you, his face flushed from all the alcohol. Dipper squeezed your waist, eyes closed and drooling on to your shirt.

"Time to get you guys to bed."

"Nooooo..." They whined when you tried to pry them off of your body. You growled, "We have to get upstairs and we can't leave this spot unless one of you let's go!"

"YoUr nOT OuR BosS..."

You snapped your fingers and they vanished to the underworld.

You snapped your fingers again. Everyone else disappeared.

One finally snap, and you were with YouTubers. *Surprise* Thomas Sanders, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, PewDiePie, LaurenzSide, emmablackberry, Gloom, etc.

"OOOH! SNOOP DOG!"

"I'M COMING TINY BOX TIM!"

"HOLY SHIT! IT'S A SEPTIC EYE!"

"PEACE OUT GUYS, GALS, AND NON-BINARY PALS!"

"I LIVED AS MY SLUTTY SIM FOR TWENTY FOUR HOURS!"

"Why am I here?"

You smiled, proud of yourself.

Ford rushed in with Germany, both with scowls on their faces. "GOODBYE!" You snapped your fingers and vanished to space, with you your crush.

And then you had millions of baby's and they all died because they couldn't handle the vacuum of space, but the last one that survived died because he was a bastard.

The End.

----

Hello Wattpad Land!

Wtf was that even?

Until next time...

BYE!!!!

Gravity Falls One-ShotsWhere stories live. Discover now