[COMPLETE] Sai is new on campus. She and her best friend are ready for what university life will bring them, from friendships to romances. With Sai being so young, though, she doesn't know that there are things you just shouldn't have. There are thi...
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Elijah
I don't know who was more stubborn, me or her. She wouldn't sit there and hear me out, but I wouldn't even give her nothing to hear. I sound like the dumbest nigga on earth, not ready to be in a relationship with a person people wish they had as a girl. I was one lucky dude but I was blowing through the shit, just being dumb. This wasn't even the first time I fucked up like this. In fact, the first time is directly affecting me now.
A long time ago I was in an unhealthy relationship. I considered myself happy and deeply in love. I was the one who fucked her head up. My favorite thing to do with her was to admire her beauty and look at her for as long as she could stand it. Shit was creepy, I know. But her inner beauty was captured through her eyes. Looking at them and being able to know that they are attached to the most beautiful woman in the world, made me feel like I had everything I've ever wanted. I felt that way until I got greedy and wanted more.
I started wanting to stick my dick in anything I could, especially because she wouldn't give it to me. I could tell that she was catching onto my behavior, so I started to have a fuck it attitude. Whatever she saw, she saw. I didn't care anymore, and neither did she. I went out every night and didn't give a fuck about her feelings. I pushed her away and ultimately, she left me.
Now my only fear is hurting someone else. I should have been better to her and made sure she was happy. I refuse to hurt anyone else the way I hurt her. The way we ended made me feel like shit. I messed her head up, that was all my fault.
That's why I'm feeling like fuck a title because once we're official, ain't no telling what I'll do. Last thing I wanna do is fuck with Sai head, but I know she ain't gon wait forever. I'on know how long it's gon take me to fix the shit but I gotta hurry up. I called up Tia to see what she'd say about it.
"Hey cousin," her voice was cheery like she was happy.
"Ay Tee. I need yo help," she smacked, asking me what the hell I wanted. "It's about Sai." She smacked once more, then went on to ask me what was up. "I told her I ain't wanna be together right na' because of what went on last time." She already knew what happened between me and my ex, so there was no need for me to explain.
"Do she know about it?"
"Nawl, and I'on think I can tell her right now. She tryna make us official and I'm all for it but damn. I don't need to ruin what we got." She was silent for a moment, as she usually was before giving advice.
"Eli, you tell that girl what went on, and since she a smart girl she's going to give you time. Work on whatever you hurt about from that past relationship, and put that behind you. Let ha' in, boy." She hung up the call shortly after, getting back to running her tattoo shop.
She was right. People don't get through shit by themselves, they get help. Only way she would understand was if I made her understand, but right now I guess she just needed space, as did I.
