Forbidden Fruit (Urban)

thirty

Sai

I turned his way and took in every inch of his face. The light streaming in from the blinds allowed me to see him clearly. "Okay, and after college? What then?"

I shrugged. "You know what happens next. I see you don't listen when I talk." I poked Keon's forehead. "I know you remember, come on." I poked it again, willing him to recite the plan I've always had.

"You're going to do makeup." I rolled my eyes and pushed the covers off of me. I had one foot out the bed when he pulled me back in.

"I'm playin' man. Hollon'," He chuckled.

"No, you gon' make makeup." I nodded in approval. That's been my dream since I was younger. My family and everyone around me always said I was better off being a doctor; that's all they wanted for me. But I never thought I would be happy doing that.

I also never thought I would be happy cheating, but here I am.

As much as I denounce the practice, as much as I see the damage it causes people-- no, the damage it caused me-- I am here, with Keon.

There is no denying that I had strong feelings for Desmond. But the second he put his hands on me I forgot about all of that. I don't want to end things because he truly is a good person. We have been having such good days lately. The bad ones still come but I know he's working on it. And me leaving him would reverse all the progress he's made.

At the end of the day, that's not the only reason I won't leave. I don't know how he's gonna take it. I have seen what Desmond can do, but I know he can take it further than just slapping me around.

He could kill me if he pleased. So I tip toe, I do everything right, I try my best to satisfy him. Whatever he asks for, he gets.

But when I'm with Keon it's something completely different. It's easy. It doesn't feel like I'm fighting to breathe, or struggling to make someone I no longer love happy.

"A cosmetic chemist. The next Fenty Beauty."

"So when you gon' do my makeup then?" I chuckled.

"Let me find out you get sassy," He pulled me closer and started messing up my hair.

"Shh, I'm not ready to come out yet."

And now I'm here. Stuck in the middle of two people. "Alright so while you out there making the face shit, where am I?"

"Huh?" As for Keon, he knows he isn't exclusively with me. I'm good at hiding things, and Desmond is one of those things. When we met, he knew I was with Elijah. I haven't really told him anything about the new person in my life, but he definitely knows I stopped seeing Elijah.

We started out as friends and I never thought we would become this. I'm mad at myself for letting us get this far while I'm with someone else. I know it's selfish of me, but I'm not ready to give this up.

"Here you go, playing dumb and shit." We had already had this conversation before and I always brushed it aside. But lately I can tell he's tired of it.

"I am no one's second choice and you know that shit. I'm only still fucking with you cause I like you, Sai. But sneaking around ain't my style. You got me out here looking dumb in front the bros."

"You don't even have no bros." I laughed, but he was still serious.

"I want to be with you, no under the table bullshit. So what's the problem?"

The problem is... there is no problem. Keon has been nothing but amazing. He respects the fact that I'm involved with Desmond and doesn't really ask questions. But I see what he's saying. I have him out here looking stupid and that isn't fair to him at all.

"Nothing. I swear Imma break things off. I want to be with you, too." I pecked his lips. He doesn't believe me and I can tell. I wouldn't believe me either.