Elevators (Emison)

I Don't Wanna Live Forever

Ali POV

I walk around the room and it was exquisite to say the least.I always loved nature and seeing how nature worked around this ruins making it beautiful again was amazing.

''It's beautiful''I breathe out.

''How about amazing''Shawn said stepping closer to me.

''Did you love her''He said and I knew instantly who he was talking about.

''Yeah with all of me, I would've done anything for her''

We talk for awhile and we sat on the floor and he started writing and strumming his guitar.

  I wanna follow where she goes
I think about her and she knows it
I wanna let her take control
'Cause everytime that she gets close, yeah  

I smile as I watch him work out his harmonies and such.

''How do you not feel scared when your up there on stage''He asks.

''I picture everybody naked and sometimes I think of the persons I really want to hear me sing''

''Will you sing for me''He ask looking at me fully eyes twinkling.

''Well I have a song I wrote but never sung''

  Been sittin' eyes wide open behind these four walls, hopin' you'll call
It's just a cruel existence like it's no point hopin' at all  

  Baby, baby, I feel crazy
Up all night, all night and every day
Give me somethin', oh, but you say nothin'
What is happenin' to me?  

Waiting for someone to call you is pure torture, —you're paralyzed with feelings of uncertainty and powerlessness, stuck waiting for someone to reach out to you in the hopes of putting an end to your doubts.

Her positions herself as the female narrator, sitting alone in her room after a breakup. Having can also describe emotionally protecting yourself from the harm that others can do you, so she may be reflecting ("eyes wide open") on what drove her and her lover apart in the first place. She's kept herself safe, but at what cost?

The pre-chorus hints that she may not have learned her lesson just yet. Instead of making herself vulnerable by making the first move, she still hopes that her lover will reach out first. s Ali which is me response in her own pre-chorus (eyes wide open) reinforces this idea.

  I don't wanna live forever
'Cause I know I'll be livin' in vain
And I don't wanna fit wherever
I just wanna keep callin' your name
Until you come back home
I just wanna keep callin' your name
Until you come back home
I just wanna keep callin' your name
Until you come back home  

I feel that without her lover, her life isn't worth living. Wishing for immortality is a common human desire, but she want the opposite—if she were to live forever, she would just be in eternal pain from losing the person she love the most.

As big pop star , she can "fit" into any mold of society, but it's not worth it for her—she'd rather just be with her partners. Unfortunately, her lovers has left her, so she's stuck aimlessly wishing for them to come back and be by her side

  I'm sittin' eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind  

  We see a parallel with her previous verse here—both are thinking about the other but neither of them are reaching out.  

  Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life  

  She mirrors that sense of conflict here in her verse. She's avoided the fallout of a failed relationship this time, having learned in the past that band aids don't fix bullet holes  but she still can't help dwelling on the what-ifs.  

  Baby, baby, I feel crazy
Up all night, all night and every day
I gave you something, but you gave me nothing
What is happening to me?

  Despite their rollercoaster relationship, she can't help but miss her ex. Her sadness and doubts keep her up late at night.  

  I don't wanna live forever
'Cause I know I'll be livin' in vain
And I don't wanna fit (fit, babe) wherever (wherever)
I just wanna keep callin' your name
Until you come back home
I just wanna keep callin' your name
Until you come back home
I just wanna keep callin' your name
Until you come back home  

  

I've been looking sad in all the nicest places

(Baby, baby, I feel crazy)  

Notice how she says all the nicest places, rather than just describing a specific place she is at. This puts more of an emphasis on how heartbroken she must be. She may be literally surrounded by amazing scenery, but it's as if none of it matters, or she can't see any of it without him there with her.

Saying that she's looking sad, rather than feeling sad, goes along with the visual, scenic theme here. The places look nice, but, in contrast, she looks sad when she's in them.

  She is essentially confessing how crazy she feels to be missing him in this pleasant situation, and he comes back in, echoing the sentiment and telling the listener that he is feeling crazy and regretful, too. It's almost as if they are "competing" over who misses each other more by going back and forth, letting each other know how deep their despair is.  

  I see you around in all these empty faces
(Up all night, all night and every day)  

She thinks about her ex so much that her brain tricks itself into thinking she sees him in places he's not.  

  I've been looking sad in all the nicest places
(Give me somethin', oh, but you say nothin')
Now I'm in a cab, I tell him where your place is
What is happenin' to me?  

  She's so used to going to her ex's house that it's automatic to tell the cab driver his address. But they are broken up now, so she can't go there anymore. She doesn't understand what's happening to her, she's had breakups before but this one is making her crazy, she just can't forget about him . 

  I don't wanna live forever
'Cause I know I'll be livin' in vain
And I don't wanna fit wherever
I just wanna keep callin' your name
Until you come back home
I just wanna keep callin' your name
Until you come back home
I just wanna keep callin' your name
Until you come back home
I just wanna keep callin' your name
Until you come back home
I just wanna keep callin' your name
Until you come back home  

  I just wanna keep callin' your name
Until you come back home
Until you come back home  

After I explain the lyrics, I sang the song for him and he smiled throughout.

''You sound amazing''He clapped loudly.

Our smiles soon dropped when a lion came walking into the room.

''Do you see what I see''He ask quietly.