His prey .[Negan] Cover Done By @bes135

Back Home.

The happiness of the cabin will forever live in my heart. As we drive away a piece of me is left here. The peace of being away from the sanctuary has been good for me. I dreaded coming here but now I don't want to leave. It's funny how life works isn't it? You never know how much you want something until it's gone.

There will be no more private dinners or sleeping in. All the quiet will be replaced with the noise of others living around me. Babies crying, children playing, along with the hustle of Negan's workers can be overwhelming the majority of the time.

I guess I can find comfort in the fact that I will see Eugene again, I do miss him. He may have drunk Negan's kool-aid but I hope deep down he hasn't been completely been won over. I guess I shouldn't really worry about his loyalty when my own has been compromised. I don't quite know what came over me? I know I had the choice and he gave me every opportunity not to do it, but I did anyway.

Why? I wish I could answer that, but I can't. I know I felt at that moment a feeling of relief when he said he would let me go. Maybe I did it out of a false sense of gratitude? Or maybe there is a part of me that desires to connect with him, because of the mutual pain we share? It isn't because I am beginning to like him is it?

No. I won't allow that, I can't. He killed my lover and caused me to have a miscarriage. So liking him is not even possible, is it? Can I really be starting to care for such an evil man? I know he regrets his actions and has said he would take them back if he could. But does that wipe his slate clean? Can I truly forgive him? Let alone love him? There is no way I will ever allow myself to fall that low or will I?

Then there lies my problem. My heart is so confused and I have no idea what to do? Do I bring down my walls only to fall for another man that will die? Let's face it Rick wants him dead and so does this Kevin guy. So why do I feel like I am supposed to stand by Negan? I should just let him be taken down. The answer to that very question remains unknown to me for now.

I know for now I need to focus on healing from the loss and not focusing on who's side I am on. I just can't shake the feeling that I need to make my decision soon. The future of my friends and family depend on me. They have to trust me and know I would never betray them. Well, I already did I guess. Daryl will loathe me forever once he knows. And Rick, well he will probably hate my guts too.

I can't understand why I feel this way?  Shouldn't it be an easy decision for me? I should want Negan to suffer for his actions. Shouldn't I? I guess I will have to wait and see. For now, I will leave this alone. We are almost back and I need to brace myself for all the feelings they might come rushing back to me.

My knees begin to ache from me sitting so close to the dashboard, so I decide to move my chair back. I reach down finding the little handle, and easily slide myself into a more comfortable spot. Negan glances my way now aware of the noise beside him.

" I can see you had enough of kissing the dashboard with your knees. I told you your foot would hurt like hell if you did that, " he boasts.

" I know Negan, okay. I was hoping that sitting so close would help with keeping my foot still. All I wound up doing is causing my knees to ache from staying in that position the past hour. So thank you for your keen observation, " I reply snarkily.

" Hanna, you can't speak to me like that when we get back home. I didn't mind your attitude while we were gone since nobody was around but now it has to stop. I can't have you disrespecting me in front of my men is that clear?"

" Yes dear, I completely understand, " I replied tersely.

" Hanna, don't act like that with me. I thought we moved past the harshness and agreed to be civil with one another."