Under Your Influence (GANG Series)

Chapter 19

      Arias POV

I wake up with the sun warming my skin. I see that my window is open. And when I remember what happened last night, I look to my side but there is no one laying there like I had hoped. Maybe he's downstairs again in my kitchen. I remember the first time he stayed here. The first time I kissed him. I was stupid and so embarrassed to do that. Then he was total dick the next day. I go downstairs but he's not there. He must have left early. But the person I don't wanna see is there.

"Good morning how did you sleep?" My aunt says unsure as if she should be worried about my response.

"Fine." I say emotionless.

"I'm sorry about what I said sweetie. I was just upset that you lied to me and you're not naïve. You're a mature and strong young girl who has been through hell all her life." She says giving me a smile.

"It's okay and I'm sorry for keeping Jacob from you. I should have told you sooner, I guess it was just my trust issues." I say.

"It's okay honey. So what happened with Juilliard? Are they putting in a good word for you?" She asks excitedly. When my eyes start watering her face drops.

"No I didn't get in." I shake my head.

"Oh my god. Why not Aria?" She says wrapping her arms around me.

"They said everything was perfect but that money talks more than anything else." I say holding back my tears.

"Oh my god, that's terrible, you should have gotten in you're such a good girl." She says.

"It was a really bitchy thing of her to do." I half laugh and half cry. My aunt just chuckles.

"Wait, so that means you have to go back and get an interview with Cal Arts don't you?" She says with a sad expression.

"Yes, but I'm eighteen so that means I can still stay here in New York for a year. Then I have to back and apply for a school in California." I say half happy half sad. I knew Juilliard was a long shot, but I still hoped. But at least now I have a longer vacation. But I have a year and I have no idea what I'm going to do plan wise for a year. Maybe I can actually relax for once. Even though Juilliard was my dream school for the longest time I still get to go to an arts school. That's good too. Right?

"I'm really sorry honey I know that you've wanted to go there ever since you discovered your passion." She says. I try to smile and pretend that it doesn't bother me that much, but I'm tired of pretending and failed at the smile anyways.

"I really wanted to go." I say my voice cracking.

"I know honey but life is the most unfair thing in the world." She says hugging me tighter.

Trust me.

I of all people would know.

Unfortunately.

"I'm gonna get in the shower and we can do something today." I say.

"That would be nice. I'll go get ready as well then." She says putting her coffee mug in the sink.

      I get in the shower and the hot water relaxes me. This is the place where I can really clear my head and not have everything be a mess such as my entire life. When I get out of the shower I see dark circles starting to form more than they already have from all the crying. I see this girl everyday but I still feel like I don't recognize her. Why does it still surprise me to see myself this way? I don't know. I guess I still can't believe the hell I've been through. The bullshit everyone put me through. The verbal and physical abuse, the abandonment, the molestation, just being me pains me enough. I open up to nobody except the trusted. I never wanted to speak about the molestation, it's like my deep dark secret. The thing I'm most ashamed of. After everything I don't make an effort to dress. I put on a pair of black joggers, throw on a black tank top, and a light grey thin sweater. I obviously put on my trusty black and white low top vans. When I'm ready, my aunt is already down stairs waiting for me. She simply looks colorful and did make an effort on her look unlike me. She looks absolutely lovely.