Memories That Fade Like Photographs (Jack Barakat - All Time Low fanfiction)

Chapter 19: What a mess

JACK POV

I wonder what's been going? on with Amelie. It's been two days since I've last spoken to her. Whenever I got a chance, she always excused herself. She doesn't talk to us.

I'm starting to worry.

AMELIE POV

I lie awake on my bunk.

I've been crying for days now. I don't leave my bunk unless its important. I don't talk to the boys yet. I can't bring myself to do it, especially to Jack.

Why Jack didn't tell me everything? I was hurting him so much. How can I be so oblivious about his feelings? Why did I not notice it in all those actions he did? I fucking hate myself. I was causing him pain. Damn that accident! Damn my fucking memory loss! Damn it! I can't do anything.

These thought lingers through my head.

I feel guilty at the way I make him sad. Its all because of me. I can't talk to Alex too. He might feel awkward around me.

I've been burdening myself for two days.

Two days isn't enough for the years I made Jack feel sad, desperate, and alone.

I felt someone pushed the curtain in my bunk. I was petrified to see those familiar hazel eyes staring at me.

"Are you alright?" he asked in concern.

"I'm going outside for a bit. Good luck at the show."I said coldly.

I went out of my bunk as he stood there not moving a muscle. In the corner of my eye, I think I saw his face dropped. See? I can't be around him much longer because I keep hurting him.

I now landed outside the bus for the first time after two days.

I finally got to see the sunlight even more.

I walked around just to feel the wind and having a bit peace for myself. I'm in deep thoughts and I didn't noticed that I collided with someone.

"Sorry." We both said at the same time.

"Nah, it's okay." The man said. I smiled even though i'm staring in the ground.

"You're with the All Time Low guys right?" He asked me. I nodded at him.

His voice sounds familiar.

I look up and saw Derek talking to me. I froze in the spot.

"Are you alright?" He said. He must have noticed my distant looks a while ago.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I lied.

I thought he will gonna go now but he didn't.

"No, you're not." He told me.

"I am." I lied again.

"But your eyes says you're not." He pointed out. He's sharp enough to notice it. I guess he is right. Eyes can't lie.

I sighed heavily.

"Want to talk about it for a bit?"

I accepted his offer. We walked again for a bit. I told him my stories about how I got in here and my situation with Jack and the others.

"I never actually thought that you have some kind of memory loss!" He said in surprised.

Then he stopped on his tracks.

"Maybe you're not burdening him at all. He asked you to come because he needs you. Just you, staying with him can keep him sane and happy." He told me as he lean on the bar steels in front of him.

"But i'm making him more sad." I said.

"Yes but no. Don't think of it that way. He loves you and he would do anything to be with you even if its for worse. And for Alex, I think you should rethink your feelings for him. You should go talk to them." He says.

I was digging a hole in the ground just by looking at it. I admit he is right but something inside me swells up. I'm still making Jack feel sad.

"Maybe I should." I sighed again.

He looks over his wrist to see his watch.

"I'm sorry Amelie but I need to go now. The band is waiting for me." He said.

"Thank you Derek for listening." I thanked him.

He pats my shoulder, "Anytime. If you need someone to talk to, just ask me okay?"

"Sure." Then he gave me one last smile before he went off.

I walked towards the side stage. I started watching the bands performed. And every band, there are songs I could relate to, especially in my situation right now.

"I've been keeping track of everything

Notes and maps of where I've been

Somehow I've always found

A way to sleep through unfamiliar sounds-"

I can't do this anymore.

I pushed past people. I don't care if they are looking at me or not but all I want is to get away.

My legs finally got tired from running. I fell on my knees to the ground. I'm breaking down, crying and crying losing all my shit.

I feel helpless.

I felt a sudden warm engulfing, a pair of arms wrapping me from behind.

"What happened?!" He asked in a panic tone. He lifted me up so we are both standing now.

"Alex told me." I sobbed.

"Told you what?" I can see his eyes demands an answer.

"He told me two days ago about us." I saw his eyes widen.

I was surprised when he hugged me. He towers over me. His chin is resting on my head.

"I'm not forcing you to remember anything. I can wait. I will wait for you." He said in a soft voice. He caressed my hair.

"I always make you feel sad. I hate myself for making it happened. I guess I never should've went back. I should have stayed i-" he cut me.

"Don't say that!" He raised his voice but in a gentle manner.

"I can't tell how happy I was when I saw you at the concert. You may have forgotten things but I still want you and I like you to be always on my side. I need you. I am willing to wait for you even if it takes forever because I love you." He said.

I hugged him more tighter and buried my face in his chest. I was crying again.

"Don't cry Amelie." He ran his thumb across my cheeks and wiped my tears.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked him. He froze and looked like he is taken aback.

"I-is it alright?" He stuttered.

I nodded at him.

He brushed my hair and pulled the strands of hair from my face and tugged it behind my ear. His hands are shaking. I can tell that he's nervous. He started to lean in close. I closed my eyes.

Our lips finally met. It was an amazing feeling as butterflies kept filling me in the pit of my stomach. His kisses were delicate and passionate. His hands moved to my back and waist while my hands finds a way through his hair. He deepened the kiss as I felt his tongue. I let it in as it wins for dominance.

Then it went like that and we both pulled away catching our breaths.

I can see Jack smiling. He smiled differently like this one is real. I'm glad I made him happy.

Its the least I can do for now.