Chapter 18 Realization

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I sat there for a while just staring at his motionless face - taking in every scratch and stitch over his once perfect features - thinking how it once would light up as we talked.

At that moment I wished I could just see him smile one more time.

Hear his voice one last time.

Hear him laugh at me for the last time .

I took his cold hand in mine - stroking it with my thumb - contemplating if what I'm about to do would be considered silly .

But seeing as it's just me I did it anyway.

"So ... I don't know if you can hear me , but I guess you can based on all the episodes of Grey's Anatomy I've watched. I don't know why you were late tonight or why you stood me up . Maybe you forgot , I don't know" I took a deep breath and sighed"Gosh , how I wish you were awake to answer all my questions. I cried for a bit , actually a lot ,who am I kidding? I was so mad at you and when a girl answerd your phone I got even more mad. Honestly I didn't know what was going on or what to think in that situation . So , you should hurry up and get better so we can talk this out cause at the moment I don't know what to think."

Having said that and having it out of my system brought some sort of relief - even though he couldn't react or answer me.- I sat there a while until I fell asleep in the chair next to him , still holding his hand in mine.

*time skip*

The next morning I woke up -remembering where I was and why- I looked over at Alex and sighed, still the same .

"Hi" I said to the still "sleeping" Alex knowing his still in a coma. I liked to be optimistic, so saying he was only sleeping made me believe that he would wake up .

Getting up I went to get myself some coffee and breakfast down at the cafeteria.

As I finished my meal and paid I walked back to his room seeing the doctor checking if everything was still fine, I'm assuming the usual .

"Morning" I said as I greated him

"Morning , you must be miss Ross?" He turned around adressing me .

He was elderly gentlemen with a slim built, and a warm smile on his aged face .

"I am , so how is he doing?"

"Well , everything is looking fine it's up to him now . We just have to wait and see when and if he'll wake up. Try talking to him , encouraging him to wake up."

"Okay thanks I will . Um ... doc ?"

"Yes?"

"Why did they call me after his accident and not his parents I mean we're not married ?"

"Well... you were under his emergency contacts on his phone" he answerd casually.

"Oh" I nodded a bit surprised

"Yes , well I'll be back later to check everything again bye now"

"Bye" I said as I watched his figure leaving the room.

I was so surprised . I didn't know I was his emergency contact heck I didn't even know he cared that much.

I started to feel a bit bad now for the things I thought of him yesterday.

I turned and looked at Alex .
"I'm sorry , for the way I treated you ,well I didn't exactly get to say it to you, yet ... but you know what I mean , getting mad at you and all. Please wake up so we can talk this out."
I said as I gave him a kiss on his head.

"I'm heading home to shower and change I'll be back later." And with that I left hoping to return to an awakend Alex

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