Forbidden

Chapter 23

-VALERIE'S P.O.V-

It's terrifying. To watch her bleed as she does. Though I know she won't die by just blood loss, I know if one blow to the heart she could die.
I finally was able to be the bleeding to stop but it was after I stitched it. It is am odd feeling that over took me when I watched him cut her. If she had bled faster, he could have stabbed her heart and then.. then she could have died and the thought of her not being with me hurts.
I wish she would wake... But she hasn't. I wish I can see her beautiful teal eyes again...
"She'll be okay. You did a good job taking care of her."
Doesn't feel like it. I'm not a doctor.. But I know a lot.. I know she will be okay if I protect her.
I clean up around the bed from the blood filled towels and the medical things I had used. At least for now we can rest. Maybe.
I quickly shower, get dressed and then fall asleep to her. I don't think I can sleep anymore without sleeping like this... her in my arms and I I'm hers.

It's been 2 days and she hasn't woken. I've been okay on my own, I normally am.. But it doesn't mean I miss her company as I fight the night's in the states.
She needs her bandage changed again. I don't like doing it because I worry I'll wake her.
That theory doesn't matter because her eyes meet mine. I try to smile but I'm still in worries to the situation. I just need to check her wound before I leave for the night.
"I stopped the bleeding, stitched the wound. You should be healed perfectly in a day or two."
I learned from all the times Lucifer would carve the demon blade. It's a handy tool to know.
"Thank you."
"You don't have to speak. I also got you a lovely souvenir."
I hold up the angel blade for her to see. But yet reaction.. isn't one I was expecting.. Or maybe it was.
Her eyes fill with fear. And ... fear of me. ...me.
I put the blade on the nightstand and turn back to my original task.
"Let's get the dressing changed and then I think you should rest more."
"Val."
"Hm?"
"Are you mad at me?"
"Why would I be mad at you, Nin?"
I spent so much time trying to figure out a good nickname but they all seemed rather stupid. Nin seemed like a good fit for Ninfa.. right?
"I trust you."
"You didn't. That is fine. I'm a demon, I wouldn't expect otherwise." I almost laugh my answer out.
It's interesting how she actually thought I would hurt her. I would only be hurting myself.
"Get some rest, angel. You need it."
"Will you sleep with me?"
"No. I have work to do."
"If she doesn't, somehow I do."
I leave. After getting the gear from Joel, I take to the skies again. I shouldn't have gone tonight because I've had barely any sleep but I'm awake now...
I take a sigh and breathe in the air. The wind feels wonderful between my feathers. You can tell the weather is changing by the smell of the air.
I would love to see winter. The snow. I've never seen it before.
I've seen fall and I loved it. The changing of the leaves. They were wonderful. Along with the beauty of Ninfa in the foreground.
It's not fair. My thought process always goes back to her. It's just not even right. I want time to think about other things other than an angel who doesn't trust me.
I wouldn't have bedded her. I wouldn't sleep with her every night. I wouldn't have had sex with her... if I wanted to harm her.
Joel's voice crackles for a moment. "Breeding den off of 271 highway."
"Monster type? 271... in Texas?"
"Giants and yes."
I change my direction and take a faster flight to the destination. Of course it take only a minute with the speed I use when flying. I have to be fast to be on this job.
I turn myself invisible and sneak into the den. I honestly wasn't expecting this. I was thinking it would be worse... But it's exactly like the demon den.
It's gross. And scary. The giants are called giants for a reason...
No way in hell I would ever take anything like that..
And the real job begins.
I take off the heads of the giants in the background that are..waiting.. their.. turn..
Driving Sekia into the heart of the male lover, all the way through the chest to stab the female love too. I repeat this for at least 30 more breeders. The deathrate is much less than the breeding rate for monsters and demons, it's rather gross to think about.
This.. is the worse part. The worst.
I listen carefully for the tiny heart beat within the sleeping, pregnant mother. I hate this part... I stab her stomach, killing the infant first before it kills the giant holder.
I hate how I have to repeat this. I hate how I have to do this because no one else will. Because they need less of their kind but now they breed for war so their race grows.
Maybe that wasn't the worse part. But at least with this one I can supercharge so it's silent and I can't hear their cries. The babies cries. The children's screams. The kids laughs as they play in the corner with nothing but a book shell and no pages.
A day care. Just for monsters. Giants.
My heart hurts as I stand into each baby.. As I stab into each small child.. to each kid whom had been laughing... until they're all gone.
I regulate time and listen to the silence. The smell of blood, sweat and feet is beyond overpowering. But there is no silence. I hear another cry and it's not one for a giant.
I go searching. Searching high and low. Searching each corner of the den until I find the source.
It's not exactly puzzling because almost every monster eats humans. I view it as gross and don't do it. But I'm wondering why a human baby.
I pick up the littleone and take flight from the den. A bit difficult to hold a baby while spelling a den... But I manage.
To the one place I know will accept a child without any doubt. And a couple I know have wanted a child. I overheard while we once saved them from another rescue.
I land and hide my wings. I ring the door and the man comes to the door.
"Tell your wife to come out here with us." I compel him easily.
"Jane. Someone is here to see us."
Jane walks into the doorway.
"For one whom cannot bare." I hand the baby to her and she holds it as I compel her to.
"Take care of your child. And forget you ever saw me."
They nod and I morph before taking to the skies again. The wind helps me breathe. Helps me think.
My heart does nothing but hurt to it all. To the grim features of my night. The stab to the heart from the woman I'm in love with.
I go to the one place I can feel somewhat comfortable. Cody's. A place a monster of all kind to a demon of all level can freely drink.
Inside it's the same as usual. The bar filled with a bunch of idiotic drunk monsters. Their eyes look to me with fear and it's rightful.
"Whatcha having tonight?"
"Same as usual."
She grabs a bottle of devil's vodka. A human name I find funny. Or ironic.
"Leave the bottle?"
"Leave the bottle."
She nods. "You got it, babe."
Honestly, I don't like her calling me that. It's not like I have this big issue with it. It's just weird because.. because I want to hear it from Ninfa....
The word is something a lover would say to their partner, right? Or at least that's what I think. And Cody isn't my lover.
She has made moves though. And I didn't like the flirtation.. But it seems like she will never quit.
I down at least half the bottle already and I do feel the tipsy.
Cody is beautiful. She is. But no one is as beautiful as Ninfa is.
My thoughts once again return to her. They always do now. My heart can never be far from hers and it's sad.
I miss working alone. Feeling nothing. I miss it. But it's not like how I miss her right now.
I finish off the bottle and pay for it before leaving. The flight home was rather.. blurred. And of course I am stopped by Joel.
"You went drinking again?"
"Does it matter?" I feel myself slur the words slowly.
I rip out the ear thingy and head off to my room. I need a shower. Get this.. stink..
As I walk in, her eyes open quickly. I was being quiet. I guess it didn't work.
"Go back to sleep. I'm going to shower."
I grab my clothes and a towel quickly before heading into the bathroom.
The hot water never felt so nice. Never felt so calming. I just want the night to be over.
I want to be in her arms. But I don't think it's best if she's scared of me. I just wish I wasn't what she saw me as.
The shower helped me sober. Helped me a lot. I get dressed and finally exit.
Just like that. She's gone. I sigh.
I guess she was that afraid of me. I wouldn't hurt her. That's why I had warded Sekia to her. She doesn't deserve to die that way. And I would never use the angel blade to hurt her either.
If I stay away. Stay out of her way. Maybe there's a chance she would... no.. the fear in her beautiful teal eyes told the truth, she's too afraid of me.
I won't go near her. I'll stay away to make her feel safer. It's not right that she should work alone, I agree because she's absolutely a tragedy waiting to happen.. But if keeping her happy and safe means staying away, I will do it.
I climb in bed and reach my hand over where she had lain. I sigh and clutch the sheets... I'm going to miss her.
I fall asleep to this silence. To this warmth but not the warmth I have grown to enjoy. I fall asleep without her.

The darkness. It's all I have left.

On to another fight.
"Damn that a big fire. How many were there?"
"You're watching through the camera's, aren't you?"
"Hell yeah. Free show."
I rub the back of my neck. "Give or take about 70. With human count."
"Damn."
"Yeah."
I take flight and sigh to the feeling of the wind.
"Have you seen Ninfa? Is she doing okay?"
My stomach turns around and begins to tie in knots to the sound of her name. And my heart. My heart starts beating again.
"No. She went home. Haven't seen her since."
"When is she going to come back?"
"Aw. Do you miss her, Joel?"
"Don't you?"
The knots in my stomach tighten. I do. I do miss her.
"She's an angel, Joel. If you want to speak to her so badly, pray to her."
I know I had the idea to. But I want to leave her alone. I don't want to bother her if she's scared of me. I don't want to give her more reasons fear me.
"Why don't you?"
"Reasons."
I stop at a fast food place. Managing to gather a whole bag full of nuggets and another large bag full of fries, I head home.
Home. A place without her. A place without Ninfa.