Forbidden

Chapter 43

-VALERIE'S P.O.V-

    If there is a way to do this. A way to be a hero and rule. A way to stay with Ninfa. A way to stay free. I have to find this way.
"Lay with me."
    I crawl up to her and she curls up next to me. "It will be okay. We will figure it out."
    Her words help me be comfortable. But. They don't ease my minds worrying.
   I don't want this life. This responsibility. I don't want to be this leader.
    If the killing doesn't stop. If the bodies keep piling, I will have no choice. I just need to figure out a way.
   I need to be here. I need Ninfa to be my home because without her I know I am nothing. In the two months we parted, I was so close to taking the crown and calling it quits. I would have lost my humanity.
   My fear now is.. would I lose my humanity? Or would I be able to love her as she deserves?
   Would I keep my freedom? Would I protect whom needs it? Would I be trapped and unable to do that?
    If I took crown, would I become the evil monster I was created to be? All these things. All these questions keep running through my head. Through my heart.
   I don't want to lose Ninfa. I don't want to lose our love. And I don't want her to hate me for who I could become.
   I wish I knew a better way. But for now, I must rest. I will allow my mind to resurface the topic another time. Maybe save it for when another large attack takes out another big city.
    Just lay here. Just rest here. Just be here. With her. Forever. Is all so have wish for.
  
    The wedding is almost planned. And I'm making sure she will get everything she deserves and more. Everything she wants, I'll get.
    She got the foods down. Which, is only chicken nuggets, cheese pizza and french fries. But whatever is whatever and it's perfect.
    The only opening for the lake that had a waterfall was for in a few months and I want the place as badly as she does, so the wedding has been moved up. And that doesn't matter, I could marry her right this second and be forever happy that I'm even wearing a ring. Maybe not right this second.. goblin blood covers my face..
   In a few months, I will have officially given myself over in every single way possible. I'm excited for it. And I know she is too.
   I feel a sharp pain and an adrenalin rush as a blade cuts into my inner thigh. I'm literally so close to dying because of how close that was. It may or may not have been my fault for jumping...
"You didn't change back, did you?"
"Nope."
   I feel blood drip down my leg. "And lucky me the blade is poison."
   I take a large swing and take out the attacker. Ninfa's eyes stare at me with worry.
"It's fine."
"It's not."
"It's fine."
    She rolls her eyes and throws her sword behind me into a goblins heart. She scares me when she does that, only because I'm not protected from the blade. But she never misses, so I'm safe.
"You're not fine."
"It's fine."
"Stop saying that."
"Babe. I'm good. It's nothing bad. It's just a hallucinogenic."
"That's very helpful." She sighs heavily. "You're an ass."
"It's not my fault he tried cutting off my damn dick. Do you know how scary that was?"
"Couldn't you just.." I put my finger to her lips..
"Yes. But not the point. Still would have hurt like a bitch and still made me almost have a heart attack."
    She licks my finger and it.. She's so mean to me in public.
"You jumped into it."
"I merely miss calculated my landing."
"You're full of shit."
     I shake my head and she starts laughing.
"It's not funny."
"It is."
"Eh. At least it's not as bad as getting kicked every morning."
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah, Yeah."
    I light the fire and grab her in my arms and teleport home.
"Oh. What happened to you?"
"Caught a bunch of goblins before they could steal anything. One almost cut off my dick. Another day at work."
   Joel quickly holds his crotch and does an ouch sound. Ninfa drops to the floor laughing.
"She thinks it's funny."
"How come you haven't healed?"
"Oh you know. Poison blade. Near my dick. All in a days work."
   I look down at Ninfa. Who is now holding her sides in laughter. To this standpoint, I'm wondering if she wants kids.
   Though I know if I were to lose this, I would be able to conjure another. And all would be unphased. But I wonder with how she acts if she would want children.
   Do.. I want children?... I think I do... I think I do... I do.
"Anyway. Going off to shower. Maybe stitch myself. Die. Try to figure out which poison it was."
"How do you feel?"
"Loopy. Very dizzy. It's an hallucinogenic of some sort."
"Probably best your rest."
    I look to the heavy breathed Ninfa who hasn't bothered leaving the floor. I raise my eyebrow to the witty grin she gives me... I shake my head and head to our room and into the bathroom.
   Everything seems so trippy. So... off. This poison is new. But brings me no pain. Just makes me dizzy.
   I don't know how I fell. I honestly don't. I just know that she is by my side and she wasn't before the shower had started.
"Val. Can you hear me?"
"Mhm."
"Just hang on. I'll help you."
    Like my world is skipping times. I open my eyes and I'm in bed, dried off and preparing to get medical attention. I close my eyes for another moment and the room is dark with her cuddling me.
   The poison. It's strong, whatever it is. But I have a feeling it wasn't meant to kill, only meant to stunn and me being who I am, it took longer to take affect.
    I close my eyes again and feel myself drift to a place I don't want to be. I return to my imprisonment.

    The pain. The pain as he would constantly stab me with a spear to check if I was alive or dead. Although he knew very well I am still alive.
"I bet your tired. Aren't you tired?"
    I ignore his questioning. I know I'm tired. I haven't slept in 10 years.
"Answer me."
"No."
    He stabs the spear in my chest, into my heart and rips the blade out quickly.
"Would you like to rest your head?"
    I don't want to be part of this conversation. I wish I could run away but I'm in chains and if I move the spikes will go through my ankles, my wrists and the collar around my neck will send spikes in as well. He enjoys watching me bleed.
   He enjoys me being in pain because I caused my mother pain. Because I killed her. Because I caused him pain. And now he's become such a heartless being.
"Let's see how you are in another ten? See if your legs can hold you. See if you can last before falling."
    He scratches at his small stubble on his chin. "And maybe add a little extra?"
   He summons two large flaming swords. Swords that constantly are on fire. One stabs into my center belly. The other in the middle of my chest. I can feel it burning constantly.
"Hm. Not enough."
    Two more swords appear and he stabs each one into either thigh. Slicing right through the bone and all. The.. I almost buckle. But I'm on my ground.
"Happy birthday, mutt." He walks off with a giant grin.
   Ad the door slams behind him. I close my eyes and sigh. I feel a tear drop but of course I can't move to wipe it.
    The door opens again and comes in my friend. It I hope he is my friend. He cleans my face from sweat, blood and dirt.
"One day you will be free. You will be free. I will be sure of it. One day."
"Thank you."
"Happy birthday, Valerie."
   He bows to me and leaves. At least he comes by every other week or so. At least I'm not always alone.
"Val."
   The voice. Why so familiar?
   I slowly turn my head from one side to the next. Searching for this voice but no one is here.
"This is not your place anymore."
"Where are you?"
    I feel palms resting on my cheeks and it takes me a moment originally see. This... this... being. Teal eyes.. brown messy hair.. soft facial features... fair skin. She's beautiful.
"You can't be in here."
"You don't belong here. I need you to come back to me."
"If he finds you.."
"Valerie, this is a dream. I am real. Please come back to me."
"Dream?"
"Your home is in my arms."
    Such a strange saying from this.. creature..
"You shouldn't be in here."
"Your home is in my arms."
"My home is in your arms?"
   Something about saying that makes me feel.. feel actual feelings.
"My home is in your arms."
    It's as if.. as if.. She's magic. And it's helping. It's making me come alive. It's making me feel feelings. She's making me remember.
"Nin?"
"Your home is in my arms."
"My home is in your arms."
    The swords and blades slowly fade away, along with the pain they had given.
"My home is in your arms."
   The shackles disappear and the collar. I feel myself fall to the ground. The cobblestone turns into a mist. I look up to Nin..Nin..Ninfa. She's Ninfa.
    A halo glow makes me smile. "My home is in your arms."
"Come back with me?"
    She offers her hand and I take it. I take it and begin feeling free. Begin feeling like me...

    I wake up to a soft kiss to my forehead. She sighs when she finally sees my eyes.
"I've missed you."