Forbidden

Chapter 37

-VALERIE'S P.O.V-

    Best feeling in the world is waking up to the woman you love wrapped in your arms. Or whenever she says she loves you, maybe that's the best part. But at this moment I can't help but smile.
"Valerie." Joel yells through the door.
   His tone sounds urgent. Ninfa is off me quickly. A sadness takes my heart to her warmth being removed.
   She quickly gets dressed and I do same. We brush our teeth together and run out into the living room. Joel seems pale.
"It's Cheese."
   I turn enough to see cheek unconscious, almost blue and partially mangled. Hellhound.. has to be.
"What happened?"
   It takes me a moment to grab my medkit. I begin cleaning her wounds. Or trying.
   I have to cut her pants off and shirt. Strips of cloth stuck in the wounds.
"She was in the mega den. Hellhounds smelled her and knew she was there. She tried to get out but couldn't alone. I had to go and get her out.
   I look at him and notice a large gash and teeth marks into his side.
   I pull him to me and wrap a cloth around his body until I can attend to him. "Sit. Keep pressure on it. I'll take care of you in a minute."
   I look at Ninfa. "DON'T HEAL." I feel my heart beat hard against my chest. "Hellhound bites are much stronger than a fucking demon blade. I don't want to lose you. Do you understand, Ninfa?"
   She nods. I see sadness in her eyes but I have work to do. I feel bad for talking to her like that but I'm.. I can't lose her.
   I begin cleaning Cheese's wounds but I can't stop the bleeding. Or find the other source of blood. I cut off her bra and instantly I'm broken.
"Joel.."
   He looks...
   There is nothing I can do further. The hellhound has ripped her heart into three pieces. She's bleeding too much... the amount of damage.
"There's.. There's.."
   I feel Joel's arms wrap around me.
"I can try... I can try.."
"Valerie.. you can't."
"I CAN TRY."
"Valerie.. She's gone."
    He's right.. he is.. And I see it as her destroyed heart stops beating...
    I can help him.. I can do that..
    I turn to him and begin taking care of his wounds. Cleaning... stitching... I even went as far as warding the area from further damage.
    I'm shaking. Shaking. Covered in blood.. staring at her..
    It's my fault. It was my fault. I shouldn't have sent her back in there.
   Joel's arms.. Ninfa's arms.. all surround me.
"It's not your fault."
"It is. It is... I shouldn't have sent her back in there. I caused this. I did this to her. I'm.. a ..monster.. I didn't want anyone to die for me... I didn't mean to.."
"Val..." Her voice so soft... so worry filled. "Please look at me?"
   I turn to her. Her eyes.. so beautiful.. so teal..
   Her thumb wipes my tears. "You didn't do this."
"I can do something about it."
   I get up quickly. I remember where she said the den was. I.. I have to do this. I have to do this for her.
   I grab Sekia and am about to take flight... But a hand grabs mine.
"Let me help you."
   I lightly kiss her lips.
"I have to do this. I have to do this alone. I have to do this for her. She deserves it."
    Ninfa's eyes. A tear runs down her cheek. "Please come back to me."
   I kiss her quickly. "I will."
   I take flight and head towards the den. She said over a hundred demons. Over. And now hold hellhounds. I would assume more than just 10.
   I'm running on energy, rage, pain and failure for causing this and not being able to save her. Anyone in my way will die. I'll be sure of it.
   I land at the den. It takes a few moments to really stalk the prey. Human bodies everywhere. Demons everywhere. Breeding rooms..
   I go in and am instantly surrounded by hellhounds. I do a fatal swoop and kill the first wave. Each head drops.
   The second wave, I do same. Each head drops. I enjoy how killing demons with Sekia turns them to instant ash but doesn't for hellhounds.
   4 waves of nothing but hellhounds. No demon has noticed what is going on at the entrance but I'm lucky. The foul stench of hellhound blood covers me.
   No one can see me but surely they can smell it. I slow time around me and take at least 30 out before a minute passes. One part cleared. One of maybe 15.
   Rage boils. Rage. Pure rage.
   I take out 2 breeding rooms without a blink of the eye. 2 breeding rooms full of pregnant mothers. 2 rooms filled with babies and kids.
   My world seems to crumble around me and the only thing I can think of is finishing this. Finishing my fault. This is my fault.
   A room of guards and army demon war leaders. Filled with hellhounds too. I take them out first. I smell her blood as I kill the final one and know I have killed the original target. But I'm far from fucking done.
   Each demon in search of the killer, all in a frantic but all trapped in slow motion. To each stab the joy of watching them burn instantly. To each decapitation.
   If only time would slow for the hounds but it doesn't. It doesn't matter. It doesn't. This room is cleared and on to the next.
   If a guess, I've gone through 10 rooms. Killed over 200. And about 40 children and babies.
   I'm in a blind rage. In a rage of hatred for myself. And I'm sad that the den has become empty. No humans left to save. No way to explain to others how they died so I had to burn them.
   As I leave, I ward the area. Any being that isn't human isn't allowed near the area. It's well protected and no human can find or enter.
   I take flight and feel rain hit my wing. I fly through the rain and take my time going home. I don't want to see her again. I don't want to see my mistake. I don't want to see what I couldn't save. I don't want to see what I caused.
   Flight takes me all the time I need before my heart misses Ninfa. If it wasn't for her every day and night, the breeding dens would destroy who I am. And I could use her arms around me to tell me what I just did was okay.
   Soaked from rain, I land and return to form. Ninfa runs at me and takes me in a tight hug. I can't help but return the embrace.
   I smell like blood. Probably have black blood crusted to my skin but she doesn't care. As she pulls back, she's now soaked from the rain, from me.
"Let's go shower, okay? It's okay. It will be okay, Valerie."
   I'm lead to our room but my eyes stay where her body had been. No body. No blood. Like it never happened but it did.
   I turn back to our walking and now I'm lead into the bathroom. As she undressed I just sit in the shower. Just sit.
    Her face haunts me. I was so rude to her when I was a heartless being. I always put her in danger to spy.
    I wish I didn't make her go back. I wish I didn't. I wish I could take it back.
   She didn't deserve to die because of me. She was an outcast. Like Joel. She was an outcast for possessing feelings.
   I should have tried to be an actual friend. She deserves that much. And now she's just gone.
   Her face haunts me. The way her heart was shredded and barely beating. I could have saved her... But I know that's a lie.
   She took too much damage and bloodloss plus the venom from hellhound teeth plus a severely damaged heart. I could have tried. I could have done better.
   It's not fair. Not fair for her. I got revenge for her but it's not the same. It's not. She isn't here anymore.
   I was so rude. I was terrible. I didn't know how to feel. And now I do and I feel terrible. And now I do.
   I puke an empty stomach into the shower drain. The pain is at least something to focus on. It's.. my fault.
   I hug my knees and watch the blood from my clothes swirl down with the water. Ninfa sits on the other side of me and lays her head on my shoulder. Her presence makes me feel slightly better.
   The silence is nice but if her face would get out of my mind.. it would almost be perfect. It's my fault.
    I.. hate.. me.