Keep Me Safe ~ Ashton Irwin

Chapter 45 - Mistakes

RECAP:

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in before taking a look at the small screen in the centre of the pink and white sticks, silently praying that she hadn't been hiding this from me.

|| pregnant

~~~~~~~

Hayley's p.o.v.

This morning when i woke up things were different. I could feel it, something just felt different. I'm not sure if it was just me because of what happened with Ashton last night but i just had a bad feeling, and this morning unlike most, I never heard Ashton wake up and i couldn't smell his breakfast being made.

I climbed out of bed and headed down to the bathroom to get washed, the sensation in my stomach instantly making me want to throw up but i forced myself to keep it back as much as possible with the fear of him catching on.

The days when i did end up vomiting, which started two days ago i would turn on the faucet so the water erupting from the tap would drown out my sounds. It was only a few days back that the sickness had started and though i struggled with food in general, i had seemed to struggle a lot more now.

But now i knew the truth, i had a baby growing inside of me and i absolutely hated it. The thought of it made me want to cut myself open and just remove it, i didn't want it. I just couldn't do it.

When i finally thought things might be turning around and I might actually be able to move on with my life, or even Ashton somehow, a reminder of him comes along and turns my world upside down.

I don't want to tell Ashton. I can't tell him. He'll probably get rid of me or get really mad, something that i was unwilling to see. I've already put him through enough, i'm just a burden to him but somehow he's still put up with me which i struggled to come to terms with. I'll just have to hide it as much as i can until i find a way to get rid of this damn thing.

I took a deep breath in and calmed my nerves before i made my way downstairs and into the kitchen, where Ashton was seated on a stool, tapping his fingers on the marble bench with his head hung low.

"Morning." I muttered, standing by the entrance of the kitchen, suddenly nervous to move any closer. His bloodshot eyes looked up to meet mine and i could already see some sort of anger hidden within them. I stared back, wandering what was up.

"A-are you okay?" I stuttered, as his eyes remained locked with mine but now it looked as though he was daydreaming or thinking deeply about something.

"I'm fine." He stated, his nostrils flaring as he spoke. I knew why of course...he was mad at me for pushing him away last night and not kissing him back. It's not that i didn't want to, but of course he probably thought that i never wanted too, hence why he was staring at me so coldly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat before speaking up. "If this is about last night i-"

"Forget it."

"But I-"

"I said forget it." He snapped, starling me.

I let a brief silence come over us before i felt the need to apologise.

"I'm sorry."

"You always are." He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, frustrated with his sudden behaviour towards me.

"I mean those must be your new favourite words right? Any time you do something wrong, you think that you can just get out of it by saying 'i'm sorry." He explained, shaking his head at me with a slight look of disgust on his face.

"So what this is all because i didn't kiss you?" I retaliated, furrowing my eyebrows at how horrible he was being all of a sudden.

"It's not about the DAMN KISS!" He yelled, slamming his hands on the bench and standing up off he stool making me jump back.

"Then wh-"

"Why didn't you just tell me? Or were you planning on keeping it quiet the whole time?" He asked, taking painfully slow steps towards me which seemed to scare me a lot more than having him run at me.

"I don't know what your talking ab-"

"Don't you dare." He warned, taking his final step till my back was pressed against the wall, his breath fanning my cheeks and my whole body shaking with fear.

"Ashton i don-"

"Don't lie to me." He growled, his eyes piercing into mine that had now become glossy from my tears. If anything he looked hurt more than angry from the way he was looking at me. To say i was unbelievably confused would be an understatement.

"I'm not." I said in a barely audible whisper, feeling the liquid from my eyes slide down my cheeks.

"Your not gonna tell me? After everything that i've done for you, you're not going to tell me. Were you even planning to or was that just all in my head?"

"Ashton i do-"

"THE DAMN BABY!" He yelled punching the wall at the side of my head, immediately reminding me of my past as a gasp left my lips and i squeezed my eyes shut, unwilling to open them and look him in the eye, fearful that i would only the memories of Nate staring back.

A sinister silence fell between us and i only kept wishing that he wasn't going to hurt me or my baby regardless of how i felt about it, it was still a baby. I opened my eyes cautiously and locked my gaze onto the floor. He ran a hand through his hair and i flinched, thinking that it was going to make contact with my skin.

He released a loud and long sigh taking a step back from me and rubbing his forehead with the same hand he used to ruffle his hair, the other one clenching and unclenching from the impact it had on the wall.

"I-" he sighed, taking a deep breath in.

"I'm going out and you better be here when i get back. It's the least you could do." He said, his voice calmer but if anything he still sounded more hurt than angry.

I was too scared to speak so i didn't. I just watched as he walked away from me into the hallway and listened as his car keys jingled in his grasp and soon enough the door slammed shut, the final sounds being the lock behind him securing itself within the Woden door.

When i was sure he was gone i slid down the wall onto the floor and poured my heart out, feeling myself already having another panic attack with only myself to help me. Ashton was the one person i had that actually cared about me....

And now I've ruined everything.

~~~~~~~~

HI HI, SO YEAH OBVIOUSLY HE'S GONNA BE ANGRY BECAUSE HE LIKES HER AND HE'S HURT SHE NEVER TOLD HIM SO YAH.

I'VE GOT THE ENDING FIGURED OUT AND ITS GONNA BE AMAZING OMFGG

SEE YA NEXT WEEK.

-Shakila😜