Because of You, Well, Us

Chase

I couldn't wait until four. That morning, I woke up about eleven. I mowed the lawn and showered, but that only took me until about one. Picking up my room, talking to my mom and fiddle with my guitar got me to around three. Just one more hour.

I leaned into the mirror in the hall and noticed the golden hairs lining my jaw. They pricked my fingers, and I contemplated shaving, but scratched the idea. I had tried to grow it for Kate, so why stop now?

As I headed out the door, the haunting thought of what it would feel like to kiss Kate appeared in my head again. I had come close. Maybe I would again tonight. No, these things couldn't be planned. I would have to just go with the flow. Or at least try to.

Walking across my lawn to Kate's, I saw her lying on the grass with a book. I had the sudden urge to forget about playing soccer and join her on the blanket and spend the day there rather than playing soccer. Instead, I rolled the ball towards her. She saw it and looked up at me. Then she smiled. Curse the evil thoughts that smile brought up. She held up her finger to me so that she could reach a certain part in her book, then she put it down and walked over to me. I'm positive she hadn't walked as slow or alluring as I thought, but the thoughts just got worse.

"Hey you." She wrapped an arm around my waist. Okay, I had the thoughts under control again.

"Hi." It surprised me, how much we'd hugged since Kate got back. Then again, most of the physical contact had been my fault.

"Ready for the humiliation of getting beat by a girl, Chase?" She asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Oh, I won't end up the losing one. I'm so ready."

She ran for the park and I took off after her. As I got to the park, I saw she had already started kicking the ball around. I stood for a second to catch my breath, and then ran for the ball at her feet. She squealed and tore across the park. After a bit more horsing around, Kate chased me for the ball, and I got an idea she would either see as fun, or cruel. I turned around and crouched. She sprinted towards me and tried to slow down, but she didn't slow down enough and sort of crashed into me. I tossed her over my shoulder and started spinning. She felt lighter than I had remembered, and her legs felt solid under my hand. The sounds of Kate laughing and screaming made me smile as I ran around the park, her slung over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Put me down! Put me down!" She cried, kicking her feet and smacking my back, but there was a tone in her voice that led me to believe she liked the teasing.

Taking my time, I lowered her until her feet touched the ground. Her hands ran over my back and shoulders before settling on my chest. When I could see her, she got a funny look on her face and she looked at her hands in a strange way.

I took them in my own saying, "Are you alright Kate? You're so quiet all of a sudden. What's up?"

Shaking out of my grasp, she flopped on the ground, still trying to catch her breath after laughing so much. I joined her.

"I'm not sure" she sighed and turned to look at me, "I just thought I'd feel better about my mom after spending the whole summer with her younger sister, you know? But like I said last night, I still miss her almost all of the time. I don't think-"

"Kate," I cut in, "You just lost her less than a year ago. You'll feel like this for a long time, maybe forever. It's something you just have to get through."

"I know, but-" Her face wrinkled in a disappointed way.

"But nothing!" I exclaimed, "Believe me. You know I would never lie to you. I know it sucks, but this isn't really something you get over. It's more of something you just get through. And I'm right here with you." I slowly reached for her hand, holding my breath. I had a sick feeling in the core of my body until she held mine back.

We stayed like that for a long time.