Because of You, Well, Us

Kate

"I knew it, Kate. You were in love with him. You still are. You love him more than you love me, that's for sure. It's official. That is the final straw. It's over, okay? Over." And Andy hung up on me before I could say a word.

I knew time time had come, and that I had to tell him what had happened with Chase and me. He deserved to know about my pregnancy and miscarriage. On the off chance it had done something to me long term where I couldn't have any more kids, which the doctor had said might happen, it seemed better that Andy know now, before we wanted to try for any. If we ever got that far. He also deserved to know it had been Chase's. I shouldn't have told him over the phone, but what else could I do? I went to Maine for the summer again, and he went back home. That's not something you can say any other way.

We knew that we had lost time during the year we stayed apart. We didn't pick up right where we left off. He had told me he loved me before we left for break, and I said it back because I felt like I had to. I knew I wasn't in love with Chase as much anymore, but Andy remained a bit of a mystery. I didn't want him to love me without knowing everything about me, and now that he knew, he ran away.

He hadn't handled it well, but what did I expect? I told him I had gotten pregnant by a different guy, and a guy whom he once considered a good friend. I sighed as I put my phone on the table beside my bed. Rubbing my aching forehead, I went downstairs to talk to Aunt Shari.

She rocked Casey in the living room. The poor girl had a lot of trouble falling asleep this summer. Motioning that she wanted me to wait, she hefted a sleeping Casey up and carried her up to her bed.

When she came back downstairs, she just looked at me. Reading my face and learning every thought. "I'm guessing he didn't take it well?"

I walked over and curled up in her lap as best I could. I started to cry because I hadn't wanted Andy to understand, or at all. I wanted curly-haired Chase babies, to actually carry them to term. To see him grow old and have him there for each other to lean upon. But I'd blown my chance. Chase had given me the opportunity to do all of this with him months ago, but I hadn't taken it. I thought I'd made the right choice at the time, but I knew I was wrong, and now he dated with Amanda, leaving me all alone.

Aunt Shari softly stroked my hair, "And who told you all those years ago that all of this would eventually become clear?" She laughed

As did I, for the first time in a long time.