And If... {completed and edited 2024}

And If... It was just a dream ?

•Chapter 7.

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For some reason, Stacy's words were running through my mind and they didn't want to get out, what was really irritating me because she was wrong, and all the way. My love for Richard was gone. Completely gone. I mean, I'll always have some love for him because he was the father of my child and my first love, and I somewhat will always care about him, but I moved on. I wasn't in love anymore.

She was tripping for real.

I was now in my office, on a little break, reading this stupid book Brett let me borrow, when my phone started vibrating next to me. I looked at the caller ID before to answer.

"Hey, dad." I said with annoyance clear in my tone. I was still mad about what he did, "how are you ? "

"Hey, why Richard didn't go to jail ? I don't understand. Are y'all not supposed to do your job ? This woman didn't deserve to die like this."

"Did you really call me for this ? " For a second, just one, I thought he was going to apologize. I really didn't know why I had hope though. My dad wasn't the type to apologize.

"What ? I want to know. Aren't you a lawyer ? "

"Wow...I'm going to hang up." I frowned, "what's wrong with you ? "

"Do you know who you are talking to, young girl ? "

"Young girl ? I'm a whole woman, dad. I'm not fifteen anymore."

"I should have kept you away from that boy. I really should have."

"With all due respect, shu--" I interrupted myself before it escalated, "you're getting on my nerves and I don't want to use profanity today, so bye." I cut our call short, not here for his bullshit. I put my phone on Do Not Disturb and continued to read the book. Now it was mostly to get my mind off any kind of stress.

I didn't like it, but I was still reading it for some reason. I didn't know how it inspired Brettany, but to each its own.

Everybody wants to talk about love while it's something so personal. We all have opinions on it and they don't always meet with each other. We all have very different experiences with love. It's never exactly the same. There can be some similarities, but two people will never live the exact same, like at 100 percent, love experience.

Personally, I wasn't looking for it. If it was meant to happen, it will and I'll take it, but until I'll get to this point, nothing will occur. My heart had been broken once, and I didn't plan to go through this ever again. I promised myself to be cautious with my heart since then.

But yeah, for now my mindset was on Love is some bullshit.

I was at chapter three and I felt a bit lost. She was talking about a lot and everything was questionable to me. At least, I could give her that. She was causing me to reflect on some things and if a book doesn't make you do that at one point, to me it isn't a good one. But there's always exceptions to everything, so a book can just be entertaining, not making you think about much and still be great.

''I called this third chapter: The Struggle; because LOVE is a big struggle. Emotionally, mentally, and physically, it can be grueling. You can go through a lot with LOVE. As I wrote previously, LOVE can make you feel incredible as much as it can make you feel like the most miserable individual on Earth.

LOVE can be amazing, fearful and painful.

Sometimes all at the same time, as crazy as it sounds.