And If... {completed and edited 2024}

And If... I come with you ?

•Chapter 22.

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RICHARD'S POV:

Dear Lord, you don't make mistakes and I know we shouldn't be questioning you, but why are you doing this to us ? Why does she have to leave now ? Why can't she have more time here with us ? Why ? I don't understand and do not agree with your decision right now. I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't tell you this but I can't help it.

I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm not angry. I can't lie to you anyways since you can read my heart like an opened book. I'm so mad, and sad. I know you're not doing this to hurt us, but why ?

I know you're working in mysterious ways, but I just don't get it and I really need an explanation. Something, I don't know...I'm so confused. I know there's a reason behind this, but...please, don't take her away from us. Please, I'm not sure I'll be strong enough to go through this. I reached the limit, I won't be able to continue to live without her.

How are we going to do it without her ?

I knew this day was coming, but I wasn't expecting it to be this early. I feel like we didn't have enough time with her, to appreciate her.

Please Lord, we need a miracle right now. Please, don't take her, it's too early. It's way too soon. We need her. Please...

I sighed deeply, wiping my face as I tried to hold the tears in. It'd been hours since we got to the hospital and Nǎinai hadn't woken up yet. When we arrived, my aunt told us that she found her laying unconsciously on the floor in her kitchen. She didn't know what happened, but she couldn't wake her up, so she called the ambulance.

We found out that Nǎinai had lung cancer, what was a huge surprise to all of us since she never told us. She was at an advanced stage and her chances to survive today were very low.

I couldn't help but to feel guilty and stupid about this whole situation. The signs were there, but I ignored them. It was all making sense now. I knew something was up, but I preferred to act like everything was perfect. Her tired eyes, her weight loss, coughing blood, her repetitive absence, we should have known.

With everything that happened this weekend, I totally forgot to check up on her and I didn't know how since RJ told me that him and Dorian saw her spit blood out of her mouth. This alone should have alarmed me more than that, but I didn't want to believe that something was wrong with my grandma.

Now, here we were, hoping for her to make it alive although her doctor told us to prepare ourselves to tell her goodbye. This doctor wasn't God, so his words got in an ear and got out the other one. He didn't have a say on people's lives.

"We shouldn't have let her live by herself. We sh--"

"It's too late for all of this now, auntie." We'd been blaming ourselves for two hours now and we were slowly but surely losing our minds.

"Daddy ? " I looked down at RJ, who was giving the saddest face. Since Tam had to catch her plane, we had nobody to watch him and it wasn't like we really had time to find someone to stay with him. Right after aunt Suz' phone call, we rushed out the house and were on our way to the hospital. RJ didn't even have shoes on, he was in his pajamas and had socks on his feet.

"Yes, lil' man ? "

"Is she gonna be alright ? "

I nodded my head, "yes. Nǎinai's a strong woman. We are fighters in this family." I wasn't even convinced by my own words, so I didn't know if he believed me, but he took my answer anyways.