And If... {completed and edited 2024}

And If... You paid attention ?

•Chapter 26.

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TINASHE'S POV:

Not being able to protect my baby and do something for him to feel better was the worst pain I'd ever felt in my whole life. I couldn't do my work as a mother, and it was so frustrating. To feel so useless was slowly but surely killing me. My baby boy was now laying on a hospital bed and we were still waiting for the doctor to come tell us what was going on with RJ. I didn't know what happened and it was driving me crazy. How did my baby end up here ? One minute he was running everywhere, full of energy and the next he was laying unconsciously on the ground.

I cried so much that I couldn't provide more tears, even if my life depended on it. My eyes were swollen and red, and both of my cheeks were marked with dry tears. My stomach was empty due to the numerous trips I had to make to the bathroom to throw up everything that was in my intestins.

The wait was terrible, giving me time to think about the worst scenarios possible and I was about to lose my mind at any given moment from now on. I tried to convince myself that it was a nightmare and once I would wake up, everything would be just fine, but after awhile I realized that I had no other choice but to accept my new reality.

It hurt, it hurt so bad, to the point where I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt like the worst mother on earth. I had one job, which was to protect my son and I failed miserably. I didn't deserve to have RJ as my son, he deserved so much more and I wasn't enough.

I wasn't enough.

"Richard, please. Richard, sit down. You're stressing all of us pacing back and forth like this." Auntie Suz said, looking up at him with worried eyes.

Richard was pissed the fuck off. You could feel it strongly in your own bones, he was about to break everything around him and set this whole place on fire. He was breathing loudly and in a fast pace, his eyes were dark as if a demon had suddenly taken possession of his body and his body was tensed.

I didn't know exactly how he felt, but I did know that whenever he was feeling too many emotions at once, the situation could go left real quick. His bad side was about to come out and it won't be pretty in here.

I was lowkey, but highkey scared for myself. Since we hopped in the car to take RJ to the hospital, he didn't talk to me. Not once. Hell, he barely looked my way. His attitude towards me was making me wonder if he was mad at me, and I couldn't really blame him for that though.

I fucked up.

Auntie Suzana was the only person I called to be our system support because we definitely needed it, and also because I was afraid of Richard's next reactions; I knew he was capable of doing just anything. I would call everybody else to be by our sides, but I knew they would all be asking a million and one questions that I didn't have the answers to; and that alone would make me feel ten times worse.

I thought about it again and over again, I couldn't see where things went so wrong. I truly didn't know what happened, and it was a huge problem. I didn't watch my child and now this was occurring.

It was hell on earth.

"Richard, sit down." Aunt Suz repeated herself as she pulled her ringing phone out, only to ignore whoever was calling her at that moment.

I let out a sigh, looking up and made eye contact with Richard. This alone sent chills down my spine and caused my heartbeat to speed up. His stare was so dark and cold.