The next few days Matthew and I don't say much when we're together. Honestly, I've been avoiding him, staying at my own apartment, ignoring his calls. I even canceled a visit to the set yesterday. I hear a knock at my door, I slowly walk up and look through the peephole as to not make a sound, if it's Matthew he'll think I'm not home...It's AJ, Paget, and Kirsten. I open the door and they all come in.
"So, uhh, what's up guys?" I ask nonchalantly.
"Kaylie, we know somethings up with you and Matthew. He's been distant at work and you canceled your visit. When we asked him about it he broke down crying." Paget says.
"He what?" I asked, shocked.
"He told us the other night after the movie premiere you told him some heavy stuff about your past, he wouldn't tell us what exactly, but he's worried about you," AJ says, obviously concerned.
"He doesn't know what to do, to help or comfort you and he hates that he's not able to help," says Kirsten.
"Oh my gosh. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have told him anything.." I pause, " I shouldn't be avoiding him either, he did absolutely nothing wrong. I'm so stupid." I mumble.
"If you don't mind us asking, what did you tell him?" asks AJ.
"I...I uh...I told him about the sexual, physical and emotional abuse I've gone through in the past. How I've been cheated on multiple times. How I'm afraid when relationships get serious because I can't go through another heartbreak." I say, looking down at my lap, avoiding eye contact.
"Oh, honey," says Paget " I am so sorry you've gone through all of that, but you don't have to worry about any of that with Matthew. He loves you more than anything. We've all known Matthew a long time" she says looking at Kirsten and AJ, " and he's never felt this way about anyone."
" I know, I know. I know Matthew loves me, and that he truly means it. I know he would never hurt me intentionally. He is the most amazing person I've ever met. It's just the morning after the premiere, I woke up in the same bed as him. I panicked because I couldn't remember what had happened the night before. I knew in my heart he would never take advantage of me, but my brain went crazy thinking about my past. Matthew and I have never..well you know..been together. And he is beyond respectful of my boundaries. I feel bad because I know he wants to, and I do too, I'm just not ready." I say.
"Sweetie, Matthew loves you, and he would wait forever if he had too and there is absolutely nothing, NOTHING, to be embarrassed or ashamed of. You've gone through so much, but you came here and made a fresh start with an amazing guy." Kirsten says.
"ANNNND you want to know something. You are going to marry that amazing guy in a few short months. So how about we turn this into a planning party," says AJ enthusiastically.
"That would be amazing!" I say wiping tears from my eyes, "Matthew isn't much help, he likes everything and agrees with whatever I say. The only thing we've really got planned so far is the venue, we booked a vineyard in the country that has a huge reception center and our theme colors. Since we're wedding planning I do have something super important I need your help on."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I get up and disappear into my bedroom. I come out with a box and binders full of wedding planning stuff. In the box, I pull out 3 smaller decorative boxes. I hand one to each of the girls. Inside each is a small make-up bag with their name embroidered on one side. And a travel size bottle of wine with a ring around the neck of the bottle. Inside the make-up bag is a bottle of deep purple nail polish, a set of new make-up brushes, and a necklace, each with their initial and a card that says It's my turn to pop the question...Will you be my bridesmaid? Only AJ's said It's my turn to pop the question...Will you be my Maid of Honor?
I receive a chorus of Of course I will, and I'm honored. We proceed to flip through wedding magazines, looking at floral arrangements, invitations, cake designs, seating ideas, decoration themes, etc. We narrow save-the-date and wedding invitation designs down to 3 choices for Matthew and me to pick from, and a general idea of what our bouquets will look like, the final arrangements will be decided upon when we visit the florists.
"Who wants to go wedding cake tasting?" I ask. The girls agree. We pile into my car and head to my favorite bakery in LA.
"Hello, Miss Margerie," I say cheerfully as we enter the bakery. "Any chance we could do some test tasting today?"
"Hello, my dear, why do you need to test taste?" Margerie asks.
"Ohh that's right I haven't been here in a while, This is why I need to test taste, and I couldn't imagine anyone but you making our cake," I say holding out my left hand.
"Ohh, congratulations my dear! What kind of cake do you have in mind?" she says.
"I do love chocolate!" I say with a laugh.
AJ, Kirsten, Paget and I spend the next 2 hours sampling and talking to Miss Margerie. We leave having chosen the cake Matthew and I will have at our wedding. A dark chocolate cake, frosted with Miss Margerie's to die for buttercream, decorated in a rustic fashion in deep purple and teal (pictured below, is a sample from Miss Margerie's catalog. Our cake will be bigger with an off-white frosting and the flowers will match the bouquets)
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
The girls and I head back to my apartment to continue planning. We book an amazing caterer, the DJ from Matthew's favorite club who does weddings and parties on the side, I've started my side of the guest list, we called Anna and Kent and they were honored to be chosen to the photography/videography of our wedding. We had most of the major decisions figured out and planned.
"I hope Matthew's not upset that we've planned so much today. I know he doesn't seem to mind what I choose, but I don't want him to think he's being left out." I say sadly.
"I'm sure he'll be thrilled that you've gotten this much done. You both still have to pick the final invitation design, make his side of the guest lists, chose decorations, make a seating chart, him and his groomsman need to pick out tuxedos, us girls need to pick dresses. There is still plenty to do." AJ assures me.
"I guess you're right" I respond to AJ. "I should probably go talk to him shouldn't I?"
"Yeah sweetie, you should," Kirsten says.
"Just remember, he loves you and you love him," Paget says as she pulls me into a hug.
I say goodbye to the girls then head to Matthew's house.
