Is This A Fairytale (A MGG Fanfiction)

Chapter 34: Are You Okay?

  "I love you," she whispered, "but will you still love me when I tell you..." she trails off.

"Tell me what?" I ask, confused. 

"When I tell you that I...that...the doctor said..." she stumbles over her words. I take her hands in mine, squeezing them slightly. 

"You can tell me anything, what happened at the doctor's office?" I say reassuringly. SHe looks at me, tears in her eyes.

"I can't have children anymore," she blurts out. her hand jerks from mine and immediately covers her mouth "I'm sorry I didn't mean to just...I'm sorry." she looks as if she's going to speak again, so I stay silent for a few moments. "I can't give you a family. Why would you want to be with someone who can't have kids. I understand if you don't..." I cut her off.

"Kaylie, stop" is all I manage to say, before getting lost in my thoughts. 

"Matthew? Matthew, say something. Please. Matthew?" I snap back to reality, Kaylie is in tears, body trembling, looking at me in terror. I sit back on the couch, next to her, pulling her close to me, I rest my chin on her head and stroke her hair, gently rubbing circles into her back with my other hand, it always helps to calm her down. 

"I'm sorry, I was...thinking...Kaylie, this doesn't change the way I feel about you, I told you nothing could do that. We will work through this, somehow. I know there's probably not anything I can do to make this easier for you, please tell me if there's anything I can do for you. Anything, I'll do it. Take all the time you need and don't pretend you're okay, because it is okay if you're not. I wouldn't expect you to be, after all this." I say. 

"You're not mad?" she asks.

"Of course not, why would I be mad? I ask in reply.

"We wanted a family, and I can't give you that," she says sobbing. "I can't give you the one thing a wife should be able to."

"You are my family! Children or not, you are my family and that will always be enough for me." I say "and there are other ways to have a family, fostering, adopting, we can explore the options, if and when you're ready to. I don't want to pressure you into anything. We can talk about all this later. Why don't I go make us some lunch and we can watch a movie." I feel her nod.  I come back into the living room with a tray of food, Kaylie is asleep on the couch. I set the tray down and cover her with a blanket. I make my way back to the kitchen and call AJ, she answers after a few rings. 

"Hey Matthew, is everything alright? AJ asks upon answering her phone. 

"uhh yeah, you have a few minutes to talk?" I ask. 

"Of course, I'm on lunch break now. I take it Kaylie told you?" AJ asks.

"She told me. I wish I would have been there for her when she found out. I'm glad you were with her, but I wish it would have been me."

"I'm sorry Matthew, I never would have agreed to go with if I had known, it was just supposed to be a checkup," AJ says apologetically. 

"It's not your fault. Can you tell me exactly what the doctor said? She didn't go into much detail and I wasn't going to push." I say. 

"I'm sorry Matthew, I wasn't in the room, the doctor wanted to do a quick physical exam, so I waited outside, I just know what Kaylie told me. That the miscarriage and whatever was making her so sick during the pregnancy made it so that she isn't able to have children. The doctor did draw some blood for labs, hopefully, they can figure out what caused her to be so sick. I wish I knew more." AJ told me. 

"Thanks, AJ," I say.

"How are you?" she asks.

"Me? Don't you mean how is Kaylie?" I question. 

"No, I mean how are you? I know Kaylie's not doing great, she's been through so much, she's trying to be strong, but anyone can see she's breaking inside. So how are you? You've been her rock through all of this, putting on a brave face, this has to be hard for you too." she says sternly. 

"I'm fine." I lie. 

"Gube, you forget, I know you well enough to tell when you're lying. You can talk to me. I'm here for you and Kaylie, but right now I need to make sure you're okay, I know you've always wanted kids." she says. 

"It's all too much. I almost lost my wife, now we find out she can't have children. There are other ways to have a family, but knowing I will never have a biological child, it's hard to think about. I'm being selfish though, Kaylie's been through hell, and I don't know how to help her. AJ how do I help my wife?" I ask.

"You help her by being there for her like you already are. There's no quick fix, only time will let her heal. Let you heal. But know you need a break too sometimes. You have to take care of yourself too or you won't be able to take care of Kaylie. You guys will get through this, and you have a whole family here supporting you. Let us know if either of you needs anything! Oh and you'll be getting a call, neither of you are coming back to work next week. Kaylie needs time and you should be with you're wife." AJ says. "They're calling me back to set. I'll stop by tomorrow to check on you both." 

"Thanks, AJ, we're lucky to have you. Will you update the others on what's going on?" I ask. 

"Already done, they wanted to visit, but I thought it best to wait a few days," she answers. 

"You are the best. See you tomorrow" I say before hanging up the phone. 

I head back into the living room, Kaylie is still sleeping, I shake her gently to wake her up. She blinks and looks at me through half open eyes. 

"Kaylie, you need to eat something, my dear, I made lunch," I say. She sits up and I pull the table closer. "What movie do you want to watch? I ask.

"It doesn't matter," she says as she picks up half of her turkey sandwich. I play the Princess Bride, before sitting down, I quickly eat my lunch. I watch as Kaylie picks at her food, she doesn't eat much before settling down on the couch next to me. The movie ends, and surprisingly Kaylie is still awake. 

"I'm going to take a shower, then go to the store, I'm making dinner tonight," she says as she stands up. 

"Are you sure? We can order take-out if you want." I say.

"No, I want to cook, it'll give me something to do, keep my mind busy," she replies.

"Okay, I'll get changed and we can go to the store together," I say, almost a question. 

"Sounds good, give me 20 minutes" she smiles and heads upstairs. 

I wait a few minutes before changing. We spend about an hour at the grocery store, she didn't have a plan on what she wanted to make, so we wandered through the aisles picking anything that looked good. It was nice to see Kaylie out of the house, enjoying herself, even if it was just grocery shopping. We finished shopping and headed to the check out counter. I spotted a gorgeous purple flower bouquet, I quickly grabbed it, and somehow managed to pay for it and slip it in the car without her seeing. 
We got home and  Kaylie began to cook, Garlic Rosemary seared chicken, roasted vegetables and rice. I set the table, lit some candles, arranged the bouquet of flowers in the center, and opened the bottle of sparkling cider we bought since Kaylie can't drink while she's taking medication for her injuries and pain. We had a lovely candlelit dinner, and for a moment it seemed as if everything were back to normal, like nothing bad ever happened. Kaylie laughed and smiled, as we talked and enjoyed the meal, it was nice while it lasted. The next 3 weeks Kaylie became so sad. She hardly got out of bed, she didn't want to see anyone for the first week, she skipped doctor's appointments, avoided calls from her friends at the hospital wanting to know how she was doing and when she was coming back to work, she extended her leave of absence to an undetermined date, she hardly ate anything anymore, she lost so much weight. The life is draining out of her, and once again I don't know what to do to help, so I made a call to her doctor, who referred me to a specialist.