Chapter 2.

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I was waking down the streets with my backpack thrown over my shoulder. School had ended earlier today because apparently, some idiot had accidentally triggered the fire alarm. I know, I should be happy that I could escape the place that only causes me pain, but I wasn't. It's like escaping one horrible place only to return back to next. Today had been the worst day in a very long time. Only five minutes had passed when the first bulky approached me and pushed me up against my locker. All I know about him is that his name is Raphael Santiago and he's a very close friend to Magnus. When Raphael finally had left me alone with tears streaming down my cheeks, I felt how everyone looked at me which made me feel awful. Faster than the speed of lightning, I ran into the closest bathroom and locked the door so I could let go and cry like there was no tomorrow. Great way to start the day, am I right? Since I wasn't really mentally stable when my first class started, I stayed in the bathroom until I heard someone knocking on the door like a manic. At first, I was scared that it was Raphael again or some other bulky, but when I opened the door and met eyes with some random student that I didn't recognise, I felt how my trembling heartbeat went back to normal. The rest of the day went actually pretty good, well, if I don't count every damn disgusting look that I got from almost everyone when it was time for lunch. I usually sit beside Simon when it's lunch time, but since he was sick today, I had to sit alone. Wait, have I even told you guys about myself? I mean, other than that am I a pathetic idiot that no one seem to care about? Well, my name is Alexander Lightwood, but I like to go by the name Alec. I'm 18 years old and believe it or not, I'm still a virgin. Shocking, right? I have never been in a relationship and I will probably never been in one either. I can't say that I'm ugly, but I wouldn't say that I'm very attractive. My hair is raven black and I have blue eyes. I'm tall and skinny, which means that bullies can hurt me even more since I barely have any fat on my body. There are days when my life seems completely meaningless, but when that happens, I do what I always do. Archery. Ever since I was a little kid, I found myself sitting at the archery ranch, watching men and women shooting arrows through the air. When I finally dared to start doing it myself, I immediately loved it. Somehow, it gave me peace and it was like every damn problem that I had to deal with, just disappeared as the arrow flew away into the distance. Of course, my parents said that archery was stupid and that I should stop before I hurt myself, but I couldn't care less. Archery is honestly the only thing that makes me feel alive, like I actually matter. The day that I finally could afford my own bow and quivers was the best day of my life. I keep my weapon hidden in the closet along with my sexuality. Hilarious, right? I'm scared that my mum or dad one day will find it and throw it out. Honestly, I wouldn't survive that. Anyways, as I finally reached our house, I could tell that no one was home. Both mum and dads care were gone and from the outside, I could see that every light was off. As I reached the front door, I took out the keys from my pocket and opened the door and walked in. The house stood quiet and just like I saw from the outside, every light was off. I walked up the stairs and continued into my room where I laid down on my bed. When I finally could relax, I felt how every damn muscle in my body hurt. The pain was mostly from the bullies, but also from the archery and even if I really don't want to admit it, some of the pain was caused my myself. Go on, laugh at me. I'm so broken and lost that I have to self harm to know that I'm actually still alive. The behaviour started maybe two years ago and when I thought I had control, I got addicted to seeing the blood dropping down my arms and thighs. No one knows about it though. Mostly because I'm always wearing long sleeves, but also because as you all might know, no one cares. I don't know for how long I was laying on the bed, but I suddenly felt how my eyelids started to get heavier. I wasn't really complaining . Sleep is the only thing that makes me happy these days because at least when I close my eyes, I know that I'm safe.

// TBC \\

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