High School // Malec

Chapter 6.

Simon and I was sitting beside each other on the benches a little bit away from the soccer field. There was a million other things that I rather would do, but since Mr. Garroway had decided that Magnus and I would get to know each other today, I had to wait until he was done with his soccer practice and then hell could break lose. Fine, I won't lie. Watching Magnus running around on the field without a shirt on wasn't the worst thing that ever have happened to me. Magnus was even more beautiful that I could imagine and it was like his whole body was sparkling, almost like a vampire
- I can't believe that Mr. Garroway made you work with the schools biggest douche, Simon said
- For some reason, he apparently has faith in Magnus. He says that some people are hiding their true emotions behind a tough layer
- You think that's true? I mean, that Magnus is hiding his true feelings? Simon asked and looked at me
- Honestly, I don't know. Humans are like books. It's easy to judge them by the look, but we can't know for sure if we don't get to know them
- Well, you have to tell me if Magnus Bane suddenly becomes your new best friend, Simon said and laughed
- I promise, I answered
We sat on the bench for almost one hour until Magnus finally was done. I have to admit, he's really good at soccer and I can tell that he loves it. I've seen the same fire in his eyes when he plays that I've seen in my own eyes when I do archery. Sports truly is something that can bring out the best in a person. About 20 minutes later, when Magnus finally had taken a shower and was yet again dressed in his stunning clothes, he came walking towards where Simon and I was sitting.
- I can't believe that I'm saying this, especially not to you, but are you ready to go? Magnus asked and looked at me with irritated eyes
- Yeah, I answered
I stood up from the bench, threw my back back over my shoulder, gave Simon one last look and after that, Magnus and I started walking. Before I knew it, we stood outside a small coffee shop not that far away from the school. We both ordered our drinks and when they finally arrived, we sat down on opposite sides of a cute table.
- Do you have any ideas of what this stupid project will be about? Magnus asked after a while
- Not really, I stuttered and felt how I blushed like fucking crazy
- That's what I thought
Only by the look on Magnus face, I could tell that he hated being alone with me more than anything, but honestly don't know why. I have never done anything to Magnus that gives him the right to hate me.
- Can I ask you something? I said without really thinking
- You're probably going to do it anyways so I don't see why not
- Why do you hate me?
My question made Magnus snap his attention towards me faster than the speed of light and in that moment, I seriously thought I was going to die.
- What? He asked and to my surprise, he stuttered this time
- Why do you hate me? I repeated
- I don't have to explain myself to you, okay? Honestly, I don't even know what I'm doing here with you in the first place. I have other things to do then sitting at this stupid coffeehouse with some suicidal loser
- Fine, don't explain yourself to me. Keep living in your fantasy world where everyone loves you. I don't care, I answered and stood up from the chair I was sitting on
Before Magnus even got the chance to answer, I had already left and started walking towards my house. Tears was yet again making their way down my cheeks but honestly, I'm not surprised. Everything is just too much at the moment and I don't think I can take it anymore. All I want is for someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay, but instead people keeps treating me like I'm a worthless piece of shit. Seriously, the only one who cares about me is my 10 year old brother who doesn't understand better. When I finally arrived back home, I walked up to my room without seeing if anyone was home. The last thing I needed now was talking to someone who probably only would complain about something irrelevant. As I reached my room, I made sure that the door was closed and thereafter, I sat down on the floor and let the tear fall down like a freaking waterfall. I'm tired of always having to pretend to be happy. I'm tired of always getting beaten up by bullies in school and I'm tired of wanting to die. This isn't a life that a 18 years old boy should have. All the negative thoughts drove me insane and before I could stop myself, I had found one of my blades and pressed it hard against my arm. At first, it hurt really much but when I could see how the blood started dropping down my wrist, I felt calm. It was like the pain in my arm made the pain in my heart feel numb and before I knew it, I didn't feel anything. I was just about to do the same on my other arm when someone knocked on my door.
- Who is it? I asked with a shaky voice and quickly dried some tears
- It's me, Izzy, the voice on the other side of the door answered
Shit, what does she want? I quickly pulled down my shirtsleeves and hid the blade back in my drawer.
- Come in, I said with a shaky voice
Seconds later the door opened and my little sister looked at me. I could tell that something was wrong, but honestly, I didn't even want to know. Izzy has never cared enough about me to ask if I'm fucking okay, so why the hell should I make sure that everything is fine with her?
- Can we talk? She asked and carefully sat down on my bed
- Yeah, I answered
I sat down on the bed beside her and honestly, it felt like I was going to have a mental breakdown any second. I didn't trust my emotions at all, especially not after today.
- I know that you're getting bullied, Alec. I heard Raphael say to some other kids how he hit you today
- It's fine, don't worry about it, I answered and tried to keep myself together so I wouldn't cry again
- You're my brother, of course I'm worrying about you, Izzy said
- Are you kidding me? I asked and quickly stood up from the bed
- I beg you pardon?
- You have never in your 16 years at this earth asked me if I'm okay. You're supposed to be my little sister, but you have never given a flying fuck about me. I have been fighting a damn battle for as long as I can remember, but no one one this fucked up family seem to notice that I'm seriously on the edge to fucking kill myself any second, I screamed
I couldn't stop the tears from coming. Everything was suddenly too much to handle and it felt like I was going to die. My breathing started to hitch and before I got the time to sit, I ended up on the floor.
- I can't breathe, I stuttered and felt how the air slowly left my lungs
Izzy threw herself down on the floor beside me and placed both of her hands on my cheeks. As I looked at her, I could see that she also had tears in his beautiful eyes.
- Alec, you need to calm down. Breathe with me, okay? In and out
I did what she said and to my surprise, it calmed me down.
- Thanks, I stuttered
- I'm so fucking sorry for everything. I should have asked you immediately when you started to act more distant. I have been a terrible sister and I know that nothing I say ever will make things good between us, but I want you to know that I'm so extremely sorry, Izzy said
- I have always loved you, Isabelle. Why couldn't you love me too? I asked and sobbed even harder
- I was too selfish. I'm so sorry, Alec. You're my brother and I do love you. If you give me a second chance, I promise that I'll always take care of you and make sure that you're okay
- It's too late for that. I'm not okay and I don't think I ever will be. I'm getting billed by everyone. I have suicidal thoughts and no matter how hard I try, I can't stop cutting
- Don't say that, please. I'll help you, I promise. We will get through this together, okay? I won't leave your side ever again, Izzy said while she dragged her dingers through my hair
- You promise? I asked chocked and looked her directly in the eyes
- I promise, she answered
I threw my arms around her in a bone crushing hug and honestly, I was scared to let go. It felt unreal. Knowing that she won't leave my side again made me feel so damn happy. I finally had gained the trust of two of my siblings, Max and Izzy. We sat on the floor for hours, just holding onto each other. I told her everything. Every damn thing that have happened in my life and how it have made me feel. I told her about my sexuality and how people keeps bullying me for it. I told her about Raphael and the others and of course, I told her about Magnus. When I finally was done talking, we cried even more. It was like no one of us could stop the tears from coming, but in the end, I didn't want it any other way. Izzy has finally let me into her life and for the first time in forever, we felt like real siblings.

// TBC \\