High School // Malec

Chapter 32.

I was standing in the middle of my bedroom with tears streaming down my pale cheeks. The first thing that happened when I returned back home from school only minutes ago was that my father started screaming at me that I was a huge. disappointment. His disgusting words had immediately brought tears to my eyes and as mush as I tried to stay strong in front of him, I couldn't. He made me feel worthless in more ways that I thought was possible and all he had to do was look at me with furious eyes that burned with fire. The two of us were the only ones who were home at the moment and I guess that he has waited the whole day to make a scene. As I stood in the middle of my room, I felt how my breathing started to hitch and how the room started to spin. I tried to stay quiet since I didn't want my father to get even more pissed off, but I knew that I would lose all control over my own body in only a matter of second. I quickly grabbed my jacket with shaky hands and walked out of my bedroom. I continued down the stairs and everything went actually really smooth, until I reached the entrance hall. My father stood in front of the door with his arms crossed over his chest. The fire in his eyes was still burning and honestly, I don't think I ever been this scared.
- Where do you think you're going?
His voice was stern and I could tell that he wouldn't just let me walk out of the door and leave the house.
- Out, I answered and did everything in my powers to avoid eye contact
- You're not going anywhere until your horrible grades are better and you're a normal fucking teenager who doesn't cut every damn day and have to attend support meetings
It was like every word he said hit me in the heart like a truck. Since the day that my family truly found out that I'm depressed, my father has hated me with every piece of his body. My mother keeps telling me that he needs time, but he doesn't. No matter what happens, he'll never love me and in his eyes, I'll never in my whole life be anything more than a huge fucking disappointment
- Look at you, Alec. You're never going to be something if you don't stop being such a pussy, my dad said and rolled his eyes furiously
- Shut up, I breathed out before I got the chance to stop myself
My answer made him even more angry than before and I swear to god, he seriously looked like he was about to jump me and then kill me.
- How dare you speak to me like that, you worthless faggot? Get out
My fathers response made all of the air in my lungs disappear and it felt like I honestly couldn't breathe. I quickly walked past him and started to running. I ran for what felt like hours until my legs couldn't carry my body weight anymore. I fell down on the ground and felt how I almost drowned in my own tears.
- God, what did I do to deserve this pain? I whispered to myself
When it finally felt like I could breathe again, I stood up from the ground and continued walking towards no specific destination. All I wanted was to get as far away from my homophobic father as possible. It wasn't until I noticed how my phone in my pocket vibrated that I stopped walking. I took out my phone and saw that I had a text messages from Izzy.
"Where are you? Dad said that you ran out of the house☹️"
I sighed out loud and felt how anger started to boil inside of me. Of course he lied and told her that I ran out of the house without a reason.
"I can't do this anymore, Izzy. I'm sorry, but I think this is goodbye"
I thought about ending my life just as I left my house and I won't lie, it actually seems very tempting. I know that suicide isn't a good solution, but I seriously can't do this anymore. Why am I supposed to stay in this world when no one loves me? I'm depressed and have so much anxiety that I can't function properly. People like me shouldn't even exist. As I felt how my phone vibrated again, I saw that I had a incoming call from Izzy, but I chose to ignore it. I put my phone back in my pocket and started walking once again. This time, I didn't stop walking until I reached a bridge with water underneath. When I couldn't see any cars, I carefully climbed the reeling and looked down at the dark water that my body soon would be covered by. At this moment, I wasn't scared anymore. I knew that this was my chance to finally end all the pain and find true happiness. Unfortunately, just as I was about to close my eyes and jump, I heard how a car door closed behind me.
- Alexander, please don't do it
The familiar voice rang through my head like a beautiful melody and as I slowly turned around, I saw how Magnus and Izzy stood beside each other in front of a car with tears streaming down their cheeks.
- How did you guys find me? I stuttered and looked at them
- We followed the location on your phone. Please, climb down the reeling and come home, Izzy said
Her voice was filled with so much pain that it made me shiver.
- I can't do this anymore, Izzy. I'm not supposed to be in this world, I answered and felt how more tears made their way down my cheeks
- Of course you're supposed to be in this world, Alexander. There are so many different people who loves you, including me, Magnus said
I turned my attention back towards the water and took a deep breath. My head was pounding and I felt how my hands started to get sweaty.
- Alexander, you promised that you wouldn't leave me again, remember? Don't do this, Magnus said
His words hit me hard, but I still didn't change my mind. I still wanted the pain to end and find happiness. What happened next truly chocked me. Somehow, Magnus also climbed over the reeling of the bridge and before I knew it, we stood beside each other, looking down at the water.
- What are you doing? I asked and felt how my heart pumped faster
- If you're going to do this, you're going to have to take me with you, Magnus answered and looked at me
- No, I stuttered
- I can't lose you again, Alexander. If this seriously is the only way that I can be with you, then I'll do it
- You can't do this. You have a life. Go back to the world, I said
- I don't want the world, I want you
- What? I asked and looked at Magnus with wide eyes
- Haven't you realised it yet? I'm in love with you, Alexander
As those words left Magnus lips, I felt how my heart stopped beating completely. How can this wonderful man beside me be in love with me?
- You're in love with me? I stuttered
- How can I not be in love with you? You're the most wonderful person I ever have met and honestly, I fell in love with you when we met the first time in third grade, Magnus said
He turned his attention from me to the water and took a deep breath.
- I can't live in a world without you, Alexander, and if this is your decision, then we'll do it together
- I don't want to die, I stuttered
- Me neither
- No, you don't get it. Magnus, I'm in love with you too, I said and felt how the heavy feeling left my shoulders
My answer made Magnus look back at me with wide eyes and I could tell that he truly was surprised.
- You do? He asked
- Of course, I answered
I don't know what happened next because it all happened so extremely fast, but Magnus had jumped down on the right side of the bridge and dragged me down with him. As our feet finally reached the ground, Magnus pressed his lips against mine in a passionate kiss that brought butterflies to my stomach.
- I love you, Magnus whispered when we broke the kiss for air
- I love you too, I whispered back

This sucks, I know. I honestly don't know if I should continue this story or not😩 // TBC \\