*Hayley's POV*
My lips tingle from kisses. I always feel this way when Zack's around me, it's like an addiction. I'm the smoker and Zack's the nicotine. He looks down at me and kisses me goodbye. It's become a daily routine. In the morning her comes to my bus, we play a game, have coffee, cuddle. And then he leaves in the late afternoon. Or not. Or not is not an option today, because Taylor is sitting on the couch, throwing peanuts into the air and catching the with his mouth. Not so romantic.
"Bye" Zack whispers. His breath is sweet on my face. I smile and peck his cheek.
"I'll see you tomorrow." I reply. We stand looking at each other for a few seconds. Goodbyes are always hard, they mean that I can no longer spend my forevers at his side. Not until tomorrow or later, anyway. He leaves after that, and I watch him go, my heart fluttering inside my chest. Behind me, Taylor chokes on a peanut.
"Wrong way Taylor." I smile, turning around. His coughing has subsided but he glares at me anyway. He needs a hair cut, his short hairstyle had turned into a curly mop. It reminds me of the style he had when we were in highschool. His expression softens and then he smiles, but behind his eyes there is something different. Something cautious and hidden. But he can't keep it from me.
"What's wrong?" I ask, bending down to pick the chess board up from the floor. I slide it in the cupboard and turn to face Taylor. He raises his eyebrows.
"Nothing, it's just that you and Zack spend a lot of time together. I was just wondering how it's going to last when this is all over." His words are sharp, but concern is masked behind them. They sting just as well.
"What are you trying to say Taylor?" I asks, taking a step further. I cross my arms over each other. I don't mean to be defensive, but I can't help the hurt feeling inside of me.
"I'm just saying that this tour is not going to last forever. Face it Hayles, when it's over we're going to back to Tennessee and Zack is going to go home to Baltimore. It's going to take it's toll." His words hurt because they make sense. I never realised how much I desregarded the fact that we're from different places, we have different homes, different responsibilities. But I don't want to say that out loud, don't want to set anything in stone.
"It doesn't matter, Zack and I are happy." I'm not telling the truth. Zack and I are happy, but it does matter. Taylor raises his hands defensively and shrugs.
"Okay, if you're fine with it so am I" He says and turns his attention back to the peanuts. But I can't, I can't unhear anything, unthink anything. And it makes me nervous. Terrified. Because I don't want to lose Zack, I don't want to be complicated, we aren't complicated.
At least, we weren't.
"I'm going for a walk." My voice sounds mechanic. Taylor doesn't notice, he just mumbles 'okay'. I grab my winter coat and slide on my gloves, and head out.
The ice cold air piches my skin. Outside the sky is still blue, but is fading into an indigo near the horizon. I walk fast, feeling like a soldier. Marching across the carpark, I try to clear my mind, try to think precisely. But most of all, I try to convince myself that I can figure it out. Though right now I'm not sure what it is. I don't want to leave this place, and my days with Zack. I don't want to have to worry that all the way in Baltimore, he'll forget me. I don't want to forget him. I want to stay here, and freeze time. An eternity with Zack. I want him to be able to live his own life, see his family. I want to remember him, even if I am half way across the country.
I charge down the streets, looking for something to cling to. Before I know it, I'm at the bridge where we first spoke properly.
"Hello Zachary, what brings you here? It's beautiful, isn't it?"
The afternoon plays back in my head. I stand here, on the bridge. Thinking about my tomorrows. But my tomorrow was standing in front of me. He was nervous, I could tell. I miss that feeling, the feeling of the unknown, and yet then it was so good.
But right now, I can tell that my tomorrows with Zack are coming to an end.
I stand and look up and the sky, planting my feet firmly on the bridge. The sky is a battlefield of purple and blue. I think it through once more, all the things I want and don't.
I want to stay here; but that's not possible.
I want Zack to life his life, with everyone he wants; but that's not possible without my own heartbreak.
I don't want to leave; but it is inevitable.
I don't want want him to forget me; but that's not impossible.
I don't want to forget him. I want to remember him, always; I will.
And then I realise that Zack can no longer be my tomorrows, no,
I can't be his
