AMBER P.O.V. –
I was pacing back in forth in my office, trying to perfect my closing statement for tomorrow’s trial.
“Ladies and gentleman of the jury, you have heard the statements of both the prosecution and the defendant. It is up to you to decide, after hearing all the evidence presented to you today…nah I don’t like the way that sounds.”
“You gon do that tomorrow?”
“Ahh!” I jumped.
August laughed, and I rolled my eyes. “What are you doing in here fool?”
He was sitting on the edge of my desk with his arms folded.
“I came to watch you prepare. I want to see you in action.”
“Go away. You’re distracting me boy.”
“What I tell you about that?”
I waved him off, sat back at my desk and started writing a new closing argument.
“You say that at the end?”
“That’s why it’s called closing argument sweetie.” I balled up the paper not liking what I wrote and started on another.
“You gon pace back and forth like you did?”
“No, why?”
“Cause if you do that, you ain’t gotta talk. That big Georgia Peach you got back there will talk for ya.”
“Real funny.” I threw a piece of paper at his head. He picked it up off the floor and put it in the trash. I continued to write and talk aloud to myself.
I didn’t look up but I felt August’s eyes burning a hole in me.
I cleared my throat, “Why are you starring at me?”
“Nothin’ just thinking about something.”
“Can you think on the other side of the door?” I said with a play attitude.
“Don’t act like you not glad to see me. A nigga was gone for a day, and you damn near lost your mind.”
“Is that so?” I put my pen down, and sat back in my chair with my legs crossed and arms folded looking at him.
“I had to turn my phone off you was blowing me up so much.”
“Hmm…that’s interesting. Because if I recall correctly somebody told me they loved me.”
“I tell all my women that. Don’t feel special .” He leaned over and patted me on my head. I swiped his hand away. He bursted into laugher.
“If you say so.” I rolled my eyes, then went back to writing.
There it was again, the silence then the stare like he had x-ray vision and was able to see underneath my clothes.
I put my pen down. “Okay. Why do you keep doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“Starring at me and narrowing your eyes. Is that supposed to be your way of seducing me?”
“Is it working?”
“No, so stop it.” I laughed.
“Can I ask you something?” He said with a straight, serious face.
My stomach got a little nervous, because I didn’t know what he was going to ask.
“Go ahead.” I rested my chin on my left hand.
There was silence, but he didn’t look up at me. Instead he started to talk looking down at his hand in which he was fidgeting with.
“I’mma be real. A nigga nervous as hell, which is weird for me, because I’m never nervous when it comes to this shit.”
Okay, what could possibly make him nervous. I furrowed my eyebrows unsure of what he was about to say.
He rubbed his hands down his cheeks and cleared his throat.
He then nestled my right hand in between his hands, and looked me in my eyes.
“I’mma just put it out there. I want you. Not on no friend type shit, but as my woman. I may not be able to provide you with the life you want right now, a nigga still in the process of building his legacy. But what I can do is be there for you when you down. Make you smile and laugh. Make love to you when you want to feel good. And have your back no matter what. A nigga will never hurt you, let another nigga hurt you, cheat on you or fuck around with your emotions. I’ll treat you right and do whatever a real man is supposed to do. Man, umm…”
I could tell he was nervous. His palms were sweaty, he was turning a little red, and his hands were shaking.
“Basically all a nigga want is a chance.” He kissed my hand.
I knew it took a lot of courage for him to say that and I really did appreciate it, but I just couldn’t.
“Aug you’re young. You don’t know what you want right now. You got a lot of growingyo do.”
“Amber I’m not confused. I know what I want.” He leaned closer in to me.
I sighed. “Listen you’re an amazing guy, and I know for a fact, someone will see that and snatch you up in no time.”
“Just not amazing enough to be with you?” He gave me a skeptical look.
I didn’t respond. He let go of my hand and got up.
“August, stop.”
“Nah, I get it..” He still headed for the door.
“I do think you’re attractive.” He stopped, but still faced the door. I was talking to his back.
“And I do think you’re amazing. The dreams you have. How you take responsibility for your family. The--.”
“Whatever Amber.” He opened the door, I closed it and stood in front of him.
“August, I like you a lot. And I’m going to be honest, I am starting to have feelings for you. But in my position, and at my age, things are complicated. People will say things.”
“Tsk.” He rolled his eyes.
“What will people say when I have to go parties with other Attorney’s and I show up with my 21 year old boyfriend? Do you know what my colleagues will think of me?”
“Who gives a fuck? What mutha-fuckas think ain’t got shit to do with us.”
“August.” I touched his cheek. He fanned my hand away.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Can you at least try to see things from my side? I’m at an age now where I want to get married and have kids. Say we get married. When I take maternity leave, with you in school, whose gonna pay the bills while I have to be at home with the baby? Huh? What if I lose my job. I’m fucked. You can barely pay the little bit of rent you got now, let alone help me with my mortgage?”
I realized I had said too much. I saw his jaw clench and the look of hurt on his face.
“August.”
He shook his head as if say, “okay I see how it is.”
“I didn’t mean it like that Au--.”
Before I could finish his name, he left out my office and slammed the door.
