Lupus - A Shawn Mendes Fanfiction

▪ ■ twenty seven ■ ▪

Hello hi hey

Your POV

Morning soon came, and Shawn had a therapy session booked in for today.

Recently I've been letting Shawn sit in his therapy sessions alone so he can openly talk. I understood that he needed to be alone with his therapist, but this time I needed to speak to Liz, his therapist, about giving him some meds.

I had to speak to Shawn before I asked Liz.

It was 11am so I decided to check if Shawn was up. I go into our bedroom and sit by his bedside.

"I'm awake Y/N." He mumbles in his morning voice.

"How are you?" I ask, planting a kiss on his cheek. He was a bit cooler than yesterday but still had a fever.

"The pain isn't as bad today but I'm so tired." I help Shawn sit up before speaking.

"I spoke to Selena yesterday, and we have a proposition for you." I move some hair from his forehead out of his eyes before continuing. "We both know you're hurting, and the CBT isn't doing much because you're... you've been through more than the average person suffering from anything." I was trying not to say that he has pretty severe depression. "We think you might need to take some anti depressants for a while. I wanted to ask you before I spoke to Liz."

"Y/N I was going to ask you the same thing." He replies, trying his hardest not to cry.

"I love you so so much and I know you can get better. Please let us help you with anything Shawn." I plant a kiss on his forehead. "Now, brush your teeth and I'll make you some breakfast." I suggest and go into the kitchen.

I make Shawn some scrambled eggs for breakfast, and take it into our bedroom for him.

As soon as he's finished eating, Liz arrives and I decide to sit in with them at the end.

"Hey, I was just wondering if you could give Shawn some anti depressants? He's really struggling and I think he needs it to get some motivation back." I ask, sitting at Shawn's side. He lays his head on to my shoulder.

"Yeah I can do that. But the meds take a few months to work, just bear that in mind. You need to keep taking them as they don't work overnight. It'll seem like nothings happening for a while but it takes time." She explains. "I have a pack with me. I was thinking Shawn that you need this as well as therapy."

We had all thought the same thing but nobody said it.

"Thank you." Shawn says.

"Its okay. Take these for two months, and I'll see you after Christmas. That'll allow the meds to work."

"That's fine. Thank you, for everything." Shawn smiles.

"No worries. I'll see you soon." I show Liz out and return to Shawn.

"Y/N I'm tired. I need to record a few more songs but I don't have any energy. Its like all the strength has been sucked out of me." Shawn sighs, laying down.

"Its okay, you can sleep for a few hours then record the songs." I smile and lay beside Shawn, cuddling him close to me.

"You smell nice Y/N."

"I'm wearing your fragerance." I laugh, holding his head against my chest.

"Night again." He reaches out for my hand.

"Night darling." I press a kiss to his forehead and let him sleep as he needed rest.

I wanted to let him sleep for a bit, but Shawn's grip around me was tight, so I couldn't leave him. My eyes fall to the scar on his cheek. Not the shaving scar, this was one from that night.

I brush my thumb over it and feel that Shawn is sweating.

I reach out and grab the thermometer. His temperature was normal. I get worried - Shawn then rapidly turns to the side, face scrunching up.

Shawn's POV

I'm laying in bed. Wait, this is not right.

Its that night.

Fear sparks through me and I try to move, but it feels like there is a huge weight on me and I can't move.

I'm stuck.

"Help!" I yell, but nobody hears me.

I then see her. She hits me and pins me down, and I struggle to breathe.

I'm trapped.

Your POV

Frantically, I get a tissue and wet it with the water in Shawn's bottle at his bedside table and begin dabbing it on Shawn's head to wake him.

"Shawn, baby its Y/N. Please wake up, you're okay." I coo, but its no help. Tears begin streaming down his cheeks.

"Shawn please I'm here." I pour some water on his face but no use. I decide to plant a kiss on his lips.

Mistake.

"No!" He shouts, pushing me away. I fall off the bed, luckily not hurting myself. "Oh my God Y/N I'm so sorry I..." he bursts into tears. He puts his hand out to help me up and I take it.

"What happened?" I ask, crawling onto the bed next to him.

"I... I..." he couldn't speak between sobs. I take my hand to the other side of his head and pull him into my lap, his head digging into my shoulder.

"I got you Shawn, I'm right here." I whisper in his hear, taking my hand up and down his arm. "What happened? Did you have a bad dream?"

I feel him nod his head, and he calms down a little.

"It was that night and... Y/N what if it happens again?"

"Shawn look at me. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, I promise. Nobody is going to hurt you, especially in that way. Nobody is hurting my Mendes, they've hurt you enough."

"I should be protecting you Y/N. The guy takes care of the girl. I've neglected you. I wish this never happened. Because of me you're not gonna have me to protect you. I'm gonna be stuck in hospital or too tired to help!" I could sense the frustration and pain in his voice.

"You've come so far from where you were. Give it a while longer, just hold on for a little longer and it'll sort out." I run my fingers through his hair. "Come on, lets give you a warm bath. Your hair needs washing." I suggest, hoping it would somehow wash away the pain he was in.

I keep telling him that it gets better, but does it ever?

Bye g2g see ya

^sounded better in my head