Lupus - A Shawn Mendes Fanfiction

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IMMA DO SOMMAT SOON SO BE AWARE HAHA

P.S. this was written before I published 'Help Me'. That is what I was gonna do hehe. Its a personal story x

Your POV

Shawn's ankle was pretty sore and swollen from yesterday, so I bring him breakfast in bed.

I got him muesli with a glass of low sugar juice and a healthy breakfast muffin and place it on his bedside table.

He had gotten changed into jeans and a top, after I had told him to wait.

"Shawn I could've helped you." I say, passing the bowl into his slightly shaky hands. "Are you nervous?" Today was the day of his interview.

"Yeah... I'm freaking out Y/N." I could tell he was restless and anxious. "Can you sit with me?" He asks, and I instantly sit beside him, rubbing his earlobes, keeping him calm.

"You don't need to answer anything that you don't want to. Just say all you wish, nothing more." His head falls to my shoulder and I let him rest for a while. This interview was going to take a lot out of him and I wanted him to be well rested.

"Are you sleeping?" I ask quietly.

"No. I just like laying here." He responds, opening his eyes. "How long do I have?"

"Twenty minutes. Are you okay to do it?"

"Yeah... I'll be fine." He says just as the door bell rings.

"I'll let them in."

I open the door, revealing Ellen and a camerawoman.

"Hey Y/N, how are you?" Ellen asks, hugging me.

"I'm okay, what about you?"

"I'm good thanks. Is Shawn okay with doing this?"

"He said he is." I sigh as Shawn walks in, clearly nervous.

"Shawn before we start, if you feel unable to continue at any point, tell me. We will stop right then and even delete the recordings. Its whatever suits you." Ellen explains, taking a seat next to Shawn.

"Okay... lets go." I'm about to walk out but Shawn stops me. "Don't leave... sit next to me. Please." He almost begs, and I agree.

"So we are live in 3, 2, 1..."

"Hello this is Ellen. As you can see we are im a different setting today as we are interviewing Shawn Mendes. So Shawn how are you?"

"I'm really nervous. Thanks for having me."

"Its okay. Right Shawn, I understand you've been suffering from lupus, which has caused other health issues, including mentally."

"Yeah... a few months ago I was diagnosed with lupus. It's an autoimmune disease which can cause organ failure. A few weeks later, I had kidney failure so I got a transplant." Shawn explains.

"So you had surgery?"

"Yeah I did. Its right here." He lifts up his shirt, revealing the surgical scar from his transplant, along with a few small scars from the minor operation he had when his kidney was infected.

"So what happened after that?"

Shawn stops for a second. He took a deep sigh, and I knew he was suffering.

I move closer to him and steady his hands in his lap. He fidgets with my fingers to keep him calm.

"You don't need to say anything you don't want to." I reassure him as tears fall from his eyes. "Shawn..."

"I... one sec..." he got up and almost ran into the bedroom.

I get up and run after him.

"Shawn" I see him laying on the bedroom floor, leaning against the bed, sobbing. I sit beside him and let him cry into my chest for a while, Ellen coming in after a few minutes.

"Shawn honey, if you don't want to say anything you don't have to." Ellen reiterates, smiling sympathetically at Shawn, who's head was laying on my shoulder, eyes focused in the corner of the room.

"I want to continue. Please." Shawn says, getting up.

"If that's okay with you we'll continue."

"Yes... we will continue." Shawn went and sat in the living room.

"So... after that you began suffering mentally."

"Something happened..." Shawn takes a deep breath. "I don't want to discuss it."

"That's completely fine Shawn." Ellen responds, calming Shawn.

"It just caused everything to collapse around me. I began self harming, therapy, then medication but nothing was helping. I wanted to die..." Shawn lets out a heart shattering sob at the end, and my arms go around him.

"Deep breaths honey, keep breathing." I coo, gently stroking his hair.

"I'm sorry, I can't go into detail in that. Its too personal and it just... it... it hurts me too much." He manages to sob out, shaking in my arms.

Ellen passes him a tissue, trying her best to keep him calm.

"I think its incredibly brave of you to discuss this. You're a strong, brave person and we all should be inspired by you."

A smile escapes Shawn's mouth, and I pat his leg as he continues.

"So after I felt like I was recovering mentally, just last week I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes." Shawn continues to explain. "But, I've realised something. I've realised that no matter how tough things get you've got to keep fighting through. It'll feel like you want to give up, you will want to die. However, you have to just hang in there for just a second, you have to keep pushing on."

There is a short pause. Shawn makes die contact with the camera. There were tears in his eyes, but this time, its different. They're hopeful, happy tears. "And one day, you'll get there."

In that moment, Shawn and I both realised that he was going to be absolutely fine.

Thank you so much for the amazing support. I never once thought that I'd get this much love on this. It was originally a 5 to 10 chapter story, and with your support WE managed to turn it into 36 beautiful chapters. I love you all and thank you for following me on this amazing journey ❤ x