Dragon Rider (#Wattys2016)

Important!

Guys I've been going through this and it isn't very well written or edited so I've decided I can do three things. Here's the first paragraph written in three different ways.

I ran with the people, but I was not screaming I just focused on putting as much distance between me and what had just happened. I spotted a dark alleyway and entered it, I quickly scaled a cold stone wall and jumped down the other side. I found my house, which I shared with my brothers and my Father. I entered the house and went into the attic and looked out the dark window, I thought about what had just happened.

One is change it to third person,

Thea wasn't sure what had happened, nor did she particularly want to know what had happened. But whatever had happened, had happened and there was no changing that. No, what Thea was more concerned about was putting one foot in front of the others and running. Unlike the rest of the people surrounded the brown haired skinny girl, Thea wasn't screaming she was focusing on getting home safely. Spotting a dark alleyway Thea entered it panting slightly from running, looking at the cold stone wall which was filled with cracks and holes Thea quickly scaled it. Jumping down on the other side Thea found the house which her brothers, father and she lived in. Entering the house, Thea made her way upstairs and into the attic; her bedroom. Thea stared out the window taking in the darkening sky while keeping an eye out for any movement Thea pondered over what had just happened.

Second is first person but written better,

I wasn't quite sure what had happened but I knew it was probably something to do with a group of people who were rebelling. Unlike the people I was running with I wasn't screaming, I didn't want to bring attention to myself. I just focused on putting one foot in front of the other, creating more distance between myself and the Magicians. I spotted a dark alleyway which I could use to get home, I darted through it before finding myself staring at a wall. The cold stone wall was filled with cracks and small holes perfect to climb up, I scaled it quickly. Jumping down I entered the house I shared with my brothers and father, I climbed up the stairs to the attic; which doubled up as bedroom. I looked out into the darkening sky and thought over what had just happened.

The last is written the same as the normal version but edited,

I ran with the people, but I wasn't screaming like them, I was just focused on putting as much distance between me and what had just happened and the Magicians. I spotted a dark alleyway and entered it, I quickly scaled a cold stone wall and jumped down the other side. I found my house, which I shared with my brothers and my Father. I entered the house and went into the attic and looked out the dark window, I thought about what had just happened.

Write one for the first one, two for the second, or three for the first one! Please help me with this!!