cute

• eighteen •

It would be a lie to say Jungkook didn't struggle with his self-esteem. At times, it just felt like there was so much pressure weighing down on him. 'The golden boy'. 'He's just naturally good at everything'. But that just wasn't true. He was trying his hardest everyday to keep up this reputation and sometimes it was hard to stay consistent.

Like today. Watching Hoseok dance in front of the mirror, so easily teaching the new moves to the class that seemed to be in love with him. Hoseok had a magnetic personality. He was a supportive optimist, just so damn good at picking up people's moods with his bright smile. The man was most popular among their younger and teenage classes, the kids happy that they didn't have some strict teacher only adding to their stress.

Jungkook was popular for different reasons. He'd heard the students talk, mainly the girls, gossiping about how attractive he was. That was why they liked him. Not for his dancing, not for his teaching abilities, not for his attempts at making them laugh. Just his face and body. And while it seemed a good thing that people found him so attractive, he almost hated the attention. Really, he could only tolerate such admiration from Taehyung.

Some days Jungkook didn't get too bothered but today his self-esteem was particularly bad. He was still training to become a dance instructor, so it was understandable that he wasn't perfect at his job, yet he still couldn't help but feel not good enough. Hoseok was incredible at his job and Jungkook looked so unexperienced next to the man.

Sat to the side of the room, watching the class repeat the steps before finishing for the day, the boy found himself just wanting the ground to consume him. Nothing he did today felt good enough. He had been given the opportunity to teach the class and that lasted only a few minutes. None of them listened. Instead, they all turned to their friends and talked. Hoseok had to come back again and continue from where the boy couldn't even start.

As the last student left the class and the door swung shut behind her, Hoseok dropped down next to Jungkook.

"Don't stress buddy," Hoseok patted the boys knee, "you were great."

Jungkook scoffed, "yeah, sure."

Hoseok frowned at the boy, not liking to see his friend and trainee so deflated, "you don't have to teach kids when you become a proper instructor. You can always do individual lessons."

Jungkook preferred that option much more than dealing with these classes right now. Kids were stressful and sometimes so rude . . . that brought a thought to mind. Does he make Tae feel this way? So drained and helpless. With his difficult behaviour and constant rule breaking . . . his boyfriend must be so fed up with it.

His mood only dropped further as worries about his relationship came to mind. Surely, if Jungkook was making Taehyung feel like this then the older man was destined to leave him sometime soon.

"It'll be fine," Hoseok gently hit the boys back before standing. He walked around the studio, picking up some rubbish from when they had their mid-way break in which students usually ate a snack. Jungkook followed slowly behind, not really bothered to do much at the moment.

It was as the two men were packing their bags, about to leave and head out for the night did the studio door open. A woman dressed beautifully stepped inside, seeming shy as two pairs of eyes went towards her. Jungkook was about to tell the woman this area was no longer open but Hoseok silenced him as he walked over and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry, it was cold outside and I wasn't sure if you got my message," the woman tucked a strand of brunette hair behind her ear, talking softly to Hoseok.

"It's fine," the man seemed to have a smile stuck to his lips, "let me just get my things."

Jungkook watched from a distance, slowly but eventually piecing everything together. Now it made sense as to why Hobi had gotten dressed into a white button up and nice pants rather than his usual loose shirt and shorts. A date. He and this woman were going on a date. How had he not been told about her earlier on?

"I'll see you tomorrow Kookie," Hobi smiled and waved to the boy before throwing his bag over his shoulder and linking his arm with the woman's. Her simple yet beautiful dress narrowly missed getting stuck in the door as the pair left the studio.

Still trying to figure out if he'd been told about her, Jungkook shoved his headphones into his bag before switching off the lights and stepping out. The building was quiet as most people had left work already. Sometimes their dance lessons ran late, either by accident from losing track of time or because they had an upcoming performance that needed everyone to have everything right. Tonight, it was the second option. In a little over a week's time, next Saturday, they were going to have a parent's night where they could see their children's progression since the start of the year.

The night was cool and quiet, not many people going around the area at this time. Jungkook gripped his phone in his hands, turning it on and fingers tapping on the screen as they usually did when he left work and there was no car waiting outside.

Taehyung would always pick him up if he wasn't busy with work, but today he was out of town to do a photoshoot. It was just for the night and he said he'd be back by tomorrow morning. When the man was away, Jungkook would usually talk to him, just to feel a little safer and comforted about being alone.

But as his fingers hovered over the keyboard beneath their messages of just this morning, Jungkook hesitated. Was he annoying? What if Tae didn't want to talk? Maybe he should just give him space.

The click of the phone turning off seemed to echo down the street.

In some not-very-nice way, this was something Jungkook, Jimin and Jin all seemed to bond deeply over. This self-consciousness that lead to worried thoughts that ultimately lead to a lowered self-esteem. It was some depressing cycle all three boys found themselves trapped in often. Perhaps that was why they were so close, seemed so connected. It wasn't exactly the most positive thing to relate over but at least it had lead to this current, beautiful friendship of theirs.

Rather than doing as he usually did – calling or texting his boyfriend – Jungkook called Jin's number. Right now, he just needed someone to cry to. It was only two rings before the boy picked up. He had also just finished work, now walking to the bus stop with nothing to do. Almost immediately, Jungkook dove into a rant of how he was feeling and admitted his worries, Jin listening as he always did. He gave some advice, knowing exactly how the boy was feeling. He even admitted some of his own worries, especially ones about Namjoon who was taking yet another late shift at the library.

The pair got everything off their chest and eventually hung up as they both reached home. Jungkook switched off his phone and went to go to take a shower.

Unbeknownst to the boy, Tae had been anxiously watching his phone, waiting for a message that would at least let him know his Kookie got home safe.