My Wreckage: Camp Nanowrimo (July)- In Editing

Chapter 14:Love Vs.Troy (Troy)

(Past)

Troy

*Got a little writer's blocked so I resorted to Nano Dare's Today*

Nano Dare: Have the character talk to their conscience.

I sat in the back of the restaurant and watched the rain. I had just moved under the shade after I had seen the lightening. I considered staying out there. Getting electrocuted. I kept telling myself I didn't want to water down my beer but the truth was that even I knew better than to mess with mother nature.

The rain was welcome. Soothing, and I could just be alone with my thoughts. Best of all I could be away from her, and what ever the hell those feelings were that happened when I was around her. I ran my fingers through my wet hair taking the last swig of my beer bottle. She was expecting me to bring something for lunch. I was planning on going to the diner. I was, I just needed some time away to think clearly, truthfully I was having a full blown fight with my conscience.

I hadn't even been to sleep. Just the thought of her in that little dressed that hugged her womanly frame begging me to take her was enough to make me crazy. I felt like some kind of jerk for even thinking that way. She was drunk, she had never done anything like that with anyone, but it was like my dick could have cared less and my mind trailed off wondering if she was still awake thinking about the feel me wrapped around her. I was a sick bastard and I knew it. There was no excuse. On one hand I was a man, and a beautiful woman in my bed begging me to take her should have excited me, if she wasn't drunk, and she knew what she was saying...no...I couldn't.

I cracked open another beer a took a long swig to get the images out of my head. Then this morning seeing her tears and wanting to reach out a wipe them away, and wanting to rip apart who or what ever caused them. Those tears were my weakness. I couldn't watch her cry, ever. It was a hard stab in my chest. I didn't completely now the situation at home, and it was none of my business. I didn't want to add to it. I didn't want to add her problems to mine. Her focus should have been school in the fall.

I looked out at the skyline again licking the the rain that had collected on my lip. Wishing my mind hadn't wondered what her lips would have felt tasted like with fresh rain water on them, what my fingers would have felt like tangled in her wet curls laying in the cool wet sand. I shook out the images. She was my friend, and I needed to leave it at that. I needed to ignore the beating of my heart. I needed to keep her at arms length until the end of the summer. I took another swig of beer hoping the fluid would slow my stomach's somersaults.

My ear zoomed in on the light music playing from my radio. I was going to turn the station, but the song lyrics dug into my soul and the haunting melody stole me away. I didn't know who was singing it, I didn't keep up with who the kids were listening to these days, but I recognized the song. It was one that heard my mother sing. Maybe it was why I was internalizing the words so much.

"The first time I ever saw your face..."

The song trailed off about a deep love and remembering firsts. I didn't know why my mind trailed to Scar thinking about our first and the first that my heart wanted to have with her that we couldn't. I still remembered when she had walked into my restaurant, when I had touched her and her big glistening eyes. I wondered if she knew how beautiful she was. My body relaxed as I leaned into my chair and closed my eyes, picturing Scar. Sweet, beautiful, smart, funny, amazing Scar, that I could never have. Love was a bitch.

"Figured you'd be here."

I opened my eyes noticing Nick pulling out a bottle and taking a seat next to me.

I chuckled. "I give everybody the day off..." I took a swig of beer.

"That was my first clue." He laughed deeply. Nick knew me too well. "So what's up?"